Wedding Reception Forum

Open Seating?

I am planning on approximately 100 guests and was wondering everyone's thoughts on open seating. I was thinking of assigned tables for family members, but then friends sit wherever. Is this a bad idea?
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Re: Open Seating?

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    I'm not a fan of open seating...  It's too much like a high school cafeteria.  Why don't you want to do assigned tables?  Also, with open seating you'll need more seats because you have to allow for people not wanting to fill up every table if there isn't space or if there are people at other tables they'd rather sit with and whatnot...so that may mean more money in linens and stuff.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    We had assigned tables, and I prefer it. With open seating, sometimes people are wandering around trying to find seats together and families can end up separated or it has a middle school cafeteria vibe. If you DO have open seating, you will need extra seats and tables to avoid potential problems, like MLG said. ETA: MLG, I think you meant to say you're not a fan of OPEN seating.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm not a fan.     What constitutes as 'family'?   It's strange to me to save some people seats and not others.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:80cc70a9-dda6-4639-bc5b-589bf8fc1faa">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not a fan.     What constitutes as 'family'?   It's strange to me to save some people seats and not others.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Family would be immediate relatives- parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. You're right. It is odd. I was second guessing myself which is why I wanted to get other opinions. Assigned tables for the family is the easy part, it's grouping the friends together. It's probably best to work through it and go with assigned tables.
    Anniversary
  • Like PP said the open seating would probably need extra seating, since your guests may not want to be the lone person filling up a table just because theres an open spot. Personally, having unassigned seating makes me anxious to think about lol It's like having to get to the best seat in the auditorium to make sure your near your friends and not stuck near people you dont know.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:7ddbfb4e-da48-4e90-bebe-ca89af28dd15">Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am planning on approximately 100 guests and was wondering everyone's thoughts on open seating. I was thinking of assigned tables for family members, but then friends sit wherever. Is this a bad idea?
    Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  Anyone sitting wherever is a bad idea.  Assign tables so that everyone has a place to sit and nobody has to wander around looking for an unsaved seat.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:c45499ec-d35c-45fc-898c-2083f7ea6c1d">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Seating? : Family would be immediate relatives- parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. You're right. It is odd. I was second guessing myself which is why I wanted to get other opinions. Assigned tables for the family is the easy part, it's grouping the friends together. It's probably best to work through it and go with assigned tables.
    Posted by Jessalyn2013[/QUOTE]


    LOL - that was about 80% of my guest list  

    Some people are use to open seating and say it works well.  I wouldn't know.  I like assigned tables, but I've always sat with people I would have anyway.  The assigned table just means I don't have to find a table to save my seat. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    We had open seating, but we also had PLENTY of seating.  We had about 120-130 guests, and we easily had enough seating for 150-160.  You need to allow lots of extra room. 

    We had a sign in the area that said "If you're family, please take a seat whereever you'd like".  There were no special seating assignments for anyone other than my partner & I and it worked out just fine.


    ETA:  We did have front row seating at the ceremony for parents/siblings.
  • If you can allow extra room then I think open seating is fine.  We are just assigning tables, not seats.  Most weddings I have been to we were put with people we knew or had something in common with.  There was one that we got put at a table apart from our families with people we didn't know, that was awkward, so when assigning tables, do so with care.

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • I originally wanted to do open seating but my FI comes from a very blended family. Parents, stepparents, stepsiblings, half siblings etc. and I really don't want those we may not know each other well or not be the fondest of the other to be "stuck" sitting next to one another. Assigned seating will allow for better conversations and a healtheir mix of your guests, you don't want your guests to feel uncomfortable or play musical chairs because of the open seating.
  •         We would have done a seating chart, if our venue had tables/chairs. Ours has picnic tables, which we like, simply because it fits our rustic barn theme. For that, we are doing an open seating chart because, ideally 6, maybe 8 people could sit at one picnic table.  I am not one to say, "For sure, 8 people can squeeze in there and be comfortable enough to eat."  Plus, we also have an outdoor tent, cocktail area with bistro tables and other seating, to encourage guests to mingle, be outdoors, etc. We looked at the picnic tables as just that, a place to sit and eat at, chit-chat with those who you are eating with and then get up and move around.  We did plan to rent banquet tables for head table, our parents, and grandparents of each side.

           
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:2183f7d7-3995-4a03-a8af-15d25fc6793e">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Open seating is totally fine.  You just need to allow for extra seats - at least ten percent.  It is the norm in my circles of family and friends.  No one has ever experienced confusion or trouble finding a seat.  <strong>And honestly, they'd be super irritated to arrive at a reception and find out that they're being told what to do.</strong>  Contrary to previous posts, a wedding is NOT middle or high school, adults don't need to be directed where to sit and who to sit by.
    Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

    On the contrary, I've found that they actually prefer direction rather than being left to fend for themselves trying to find seats, and don't see assigned tables as "being told what to do" or get irritated about it.  What I've found irritates people when it comes to seating is looking for seats and the only open spots are at tables that are all "reserved" or with complete strangers.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:865cd4da-249f-4ad6-9f24-a6f55aa52007">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Seating? : Oh, do you know my family and friends?  No, you don't.  Because that's clearly who I was referencing.  Seating norms vary from circle to circle and by region, and the Midwestern custom is open.  Just because assigned seating is typical in New Jersey, doesn't mean it is common place across the country. Just like you're used to assigned seats and prefer it, those who are accustomed to open seating prefer that arrangement. 
    Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

    Right, and just like those who are accustomed to assigned seating prefer that arrangement.  You don't know my family and friends either, and they definitely would be as irritated by open seating as you are by assigned seating.

    If you don't want assumptions made about what should go for you based on other people's experiences, then don't make the same assumptions that what goes for your family and friends should go for the rest of the world either.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:865cd4da-249f-4ad6-9f24-a6f55aa52007">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Seating? : Oh, do you know my family and friends?  No, you don't.  Because that's clearly who I was referencing.  Seating norms vary from circle to circle and by region, and the Midwestern custom is open.  Just because assigned seating is typical in New Jersey, doesn't mean it is common place across the country. <strong>Just like you're used to assigned seats and prefer it, those who are accustomed to open seating prefer that arrangement.</strong> 
    Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]


    As someone who grew up in the Kansas City area and lived there for 22 years I can say while I have been to at least 4 weddings with open seating and only 1 besides my own with assigned seats I much prefer having an assigned seat. Even if open seating is common it still isn't necessarily preferred. Each of these weddings I remember having to make an effort to find a table with my friends. First wedding was fine we all fit at a table no big deal. Second wedding our friend group got split into two tables across the room from each other. Third wedding I sat at a table of 10 with just four of us which felt a little weird. Fourth wedding, I knew no one well but the bride. My husband and I ended up at a table with some random relatives who we barely talked to instead of with people who were also college friends of the couple that we probably had some things in common with. It wasn't much fun.

    I think that assigning seats shouldn't be a big deal for family if you put them with the people they would have sat with on their own anyway. And for friends who may not know very many people it can make a big difference in their enjoyment of the reception.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:7dab2fe3-537a-41de-a9ee-6d75045a8344">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Seating? : Right, and just like those who are accustomed to assigned seating prefer that arrangement.  You don't know my family and friends either, and they definitely would be as irritated by open seating as you are by assigned seating. If you don't want assumptions made about what should go for you based on other people's experiences, then don't make the same assumptions that what goes for your family and friends should go for the rest of the world either.
    Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]


    In Sleeper's defense, it was very clear to me in her post that she meant HER circle would be annoyed at being told what to do. The 2 of you are now arguing b/c of a miscommunication, I think.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Could be.  But I don't interpret assigned seating as "being told what to do."  Most mature adults don't.
  • I agree. I just didn't like seeing you both arguing over the wrong thing. ;)
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:5399de4e-9cd4-4c23-b8b4-ff20ee808331">Re: Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree. I just didn't like seeing you both arguing over the wrong thing. ;)
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Thanks.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:97dafd5c-9030-4da0-9b52-f285de262e04">Re:Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Open Seating?: The point is that you attacked her post that was clearly about HER social circle and specifically contradicted her. Then when she pointed out she was talking about HER social circle and your post was wrong, you made yourself look worse by continuing with the snotty arguing instead of just acknowledging you misunderstood what she wrote and moving on. Which, by the way, is something mature adults do.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Actually, no, she wasn't talking about just her social circle, she was applying her belief universally, and based on the posts of a lot of people here, open seating just doesn't work on a universal scale.   She and her friends might get irritated, but they don't constitute all wedding guests.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_open-seating-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f1eb97cf-a8d5-41ca-8905-750b14daedfcPost:c37be9f2-9428-4a51-8987-014ea0063770">Re:Open Seating?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Open Seating?: Jen, the part you contradicted was the line about "and honestly, they'd be super irritated..." You grandly insisted that "they" would not be irritated, and "they" is Sleeper's family and friends. You can disagree with the premise than open seating is fine in general, but you had a reading comprehension fail and told Sleeper what she said about how HER circle would feel was incorrect. You made a mistake. Just own it and move on. You aren't doing yourself any favors by continuing to insist that the part of Sleeper's post about being insulted was a universal statement because anyone with an 8th grade reading level can tell that it was not.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, but I didn't make a mistake, so there's nothing for me to own.  I think you're just looking for a reason to talk down to me.  You had the reading comprehension fail.

    With that in mind, I refuse to argue this with you anymore.  Stop trying to knock me down.
  • ZOpen seating is fine. Guest probably perfer it.

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