Wedding Reception Forum

dollar dance?

does anyone still do a dollar dance?
Thoughts on this topic?

Re: dollar dance?

  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Dollar Dances are a hot topic issue around here.  It can go either way really.  For me personally, I find them a little gift grabby and tacky to ask guests to come to your wedding with their wallets open.
  • I dont want people to think thats how we are, but we dont live together yet, so (not trying to sound selfish) we need basically everything and we wont get it all from the shower/wedding, and money would def help get us started... But in no way do we want to appear selfish/tacky...
  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2011
    People that want to give cash will do so in an envelope to you personally.  I think that if you want to totally avoid looking selfish or gift grabby, then nix the dollar dance completely.

    We didn't have a dollar dance and still received plenty of cash from our guests too.
  • Okay, thank you for the advice! Smile
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f36b021c-d510-4719-84b4-1ab19c6d314bPost:6457946c-67a3-4424-8fd1-bdbe7e3ed1d4">Re: dollar dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont want people to think thats how we are, but we dont live together yet, so (not trying to sound selfish) we need basically everything and we wont get it all from the shower/wedding, and money would def help get us started... But in no way do we want to appear selfish/tacky...
    Posted by nicoleh55[/QUOTE]

    <div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">I've seen a grand total of one dollar dance in the dozens of weddings I've been to.  And the guests were appalled at the cash grab.  I seriously doubt the $40 was worth looking like that to their friends and family.  Some people are ok with them, but they are generally perceived as rude.  Not tacky, rude.  <div>
    </div><div>If you can't afford to provide for yourselves, you either need to rework your budget and finances, or you need to come up with another income.  It is not your guests' responsibility to provide for you, through wedding/shower gifts, through a cash grab, or through any other means.  </div></div></div>
  • I am disgusted by the idea. IMO it makes me think of a stripper (associating dancing with dollar bills...). I mean, I know that sounds uber harsh, but that's just how I view it as, and it's actually nothing against strippers. I understand that you could use the money... we all could... FI and I don't live together yet, we're still in school, and we spent the first 5 months of our engagement as volunteers so we only received a personal stipend of $92.35 a month ($100 minus taxes), so I know where you're coming from but I would leave the dollar dances to the professionals...
    image
  • Go to the bottom of this page.  Type "dollar dance" into the search function.  Then read the scores and scores of posts about a dollar dance.

    Good luck.

    Oh:  And I'm a HUGE no on asking your guests to pay to interact with you on your wedding day.  If you need money to start your lives together, scale back your wedding.  Have a small wedding with a lovely cake and punch type reception, and use the money that you'd be spending on a Wedding Industry Wedding to instead start your married life together.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Personally, I think it's tacky. Your guests may feel obligated and feel put out if they don't do it. I would skip it. :)
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f36b021c-d510-4719-84b4-1ab19c6d314bPost:ac4875da-402a-4c0c-a69f-a7a0bf5ed954">Re: dollar dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to dollar dance? : My feeling is this: If you have to ask if it is done, it's obviously not something done in your group of family/friends or culture.  If that's the case, skip it.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This.

    </div>
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
  • I think this is a very regional thing. In mid-MO, at least the weddings I've attended, its pretty normal. I went to a wedding two weeks ago and the couple made $237, a wedding last year the couple made over $500 and at Fi's cousins wedding they made over $700.

    We are still on the fence about it to but we will see . .
  • the past few weddings ive been to have had them and theyre fun....my cousin did one and hes an amputee vet and it was just funny bc they turned it into a competition type thing...one of his friends was doing twirls and dips with his wife and my cousin couldnt but it was all in good fun
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • klee3klee3 member
    10 Comments

    There are some cultural influences on the dollar dance as well.  Depending on the couples culture, that might be the deciding factor.  I don't think it's tacky, because it's something that is normal to my family and I (we're eastern european).  Anyway, if I went to a non-eastern european wedding that had a dollar dance I wouldn't think anything of it.

  • We are not doing the dollar dance and I agree with the poster above who said that the $40 that you make also makes you look tacky to your friends and family. I say pass on it and if you need money to move in together then scale back on your wedding or other things.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Though I haven't been to any weddings, it's something done in my family. I agree with klee3. It's a cultural thing. Me and my FI like the idea. We're going to keep talking about it though and see if we could have fun with it or not. You know. Just depends on how people are with their friends and family. If they know the couple struggles they'd give a gift of money. Not saying they would enjoy giving more for this dollar dance, but who knows they might enjoy the fun behind it.
  • I'd would think that you can play off of the customs and what's acceptable in your area and families.  If no one has done it before, it would have a bit of a money grab feel to it.  In my area it's more common.  One "game" that is fun and done a lot is a kiss jar.  A guest puts in a certain amount of money and the couple has to kiss - for the worth of the money put in.  It gets some good laughs at weddings because some people put in a penny, some people put in $20 and get a good show.  For my area and circle of friends, they're happy with the thought of helping the couple get started in their new life together and it's not offensive at all.  You know the people you're inviting the best and what they'll like or be offended by.
  • I agree with ILoveMilkDuds...if you have to ask, it may not be so common in your circle.  If that's the case, you'd be better off skipping it.

    FWIW, never heard of the dollar dance until TK.  Not a fan of it since weddings should not be seen as a money-making venture.  However, if it's super common in one's culture -and- the guest list is comprised of people from said culture, then who am I to say?
  • I'm debating the whole dollar dance as well. Although my FI and I have been to weddings where they have it, and don't mind it, we don't really see ourselves having it. I don't want to seem money grabby at all, even though we definitely will need it haha.

    My mom thinks it's a great idea, and says the family will enjoy it. That it's not about the money, it's about the chance they get to spend some time with you one on one, to dance a bit. So I'm thinking about having a wish dance? Where family members write down a wish or piece of advice they have for us, put it in a box, and have a short dance with us. Same thing as the money dance, minus the money.

    Do you guys think that would be a good idea? Or too odd?
  • Im in Central florida.. and of all the weddings ive been through over the years, both local and our family up north , ive only been to 1 wedding where a dollar dance was not done. It all depends on the area you live in and your group of people. A lot of people see it tacky, but a lot of people find it a custom and would be surprised to not see one done.
    Me and my FI are debating it, and im sort of leaning towards no. Even though it is a custom in my family, idk how i feel about asking people for money after all the gifts i just got. The wedding is still a while off. i have time to finish up the details. lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f36b021c-d510-4719-84b4-1ab19c6d314bPost:d79edc43-ffff-40b4-aa25-9e869158619b">Re: dollar dance?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm debating the whole dollar dance as well. Although my FI and I have been to weddings where they have it, and don't mind it, we don't really see ourselves having it. I don't want to seem money grabby at all, even though we definitely will need it haha. My mom thinks it's a great idea, and says the family will enjoy it. That it's not about the money, it's about the chance they get to spend some time with you one on one, to dance a bit. So I'm thinking about having a wish dance? Where family members write down a wish or piece of advice they have for us, put it in a box, and have a short dance with us. Same thing as the money dance, minus the money. Do you guys think that would be a good idea? Or too odd?
    Posted by rnarez[/QUOTE]

    I think that is a supper cute idea!!! :) Ive voted to do a wishing bowl/well insted of a guest book , to have a place for people to write us a sweet little wish insted of a just "sign on the line" type thing. but that is a great idea.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Thanks! Hopefully it'll turn out well.

     I like your idea on the wishing bowl instead of a guest book too! I didn't want a regular book with names either so we're opting for a thumbprint tree we can later frame :)
  •   I thinks it's a regional/cultural thing. I've seen it at about half the weddings I've been to. I have no problem participating in it, because if I was upset about it, I would have the option of not participating. That being said, FI and I will not have one at our wedding. We feel it's gift grabby and people do so much to attend weddings (dress up, maybe buy a new outfit, travel, possibly bring a gift) that it's just too much to ask of our guests. We're inviting them to our reception to thank them for participating in our big day, not to ask them for money.
  • Ive seen the dollar "dance" at two weddings one was a Hispanic wedding where they got well over $500 and it was so much fun! It wasnt announced but what happened was the bride and groom did they're dance and then random people came up and started to put money in the grooms pockets until the mom gave out pins.

    Another time was at my cousins wedding. It was a little wierd because they announced it so then people where like do we have to kind of thing.

    We are doing the money dance at our reception(its a custom that my FI family does) they even have money dances at birthday parties and family gatherings so it wont be out of the normal for his family. We arent going to announce it we will just be dancing and if people want to pin money on us they can. (I know his mom and aunts/uncles will initiate it)

    I agree with the PP its all about if its a normal thing in your area and with your friends. Some places its so tacky others the guests will be waiting for it.
  • edited May 2011
    Is it really a custom to ask for dollar bills? Really?


    Come on.

    eta: obviously I know there are people who believe so,. It is more a question as to whether people flinging/pinning dollar bills from their open wallet have a place at weddings and in the eyes of the couple who is graciously offering a nice reception to their guests in honor of something as serious as marriage. Once again, let's just all relax at the money grubbing and enjoy the wedding day.
  • thank you so much for the wish dance idea! i was debating whether or not we should do the dollar dance or not and the wish dance is perfect! you know how much people like to give advice :) 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards