length of reception

KellyS01

We are having the traditional reception with dinner, dj, cake cutting, dances, etc.  How long does a reception usually last or need to last?  Unfortunately to get the pictures we want outdoors after the ceremony, there will be about 2 hour break from ceremony end to when FI and I arrive.  I'm thinking if we are scheduled to arrive at 6:45 that guests can start arriving at the reception around 5:30 or 6.  The reception hall is a 4 hour rental (DJ is 5 hour), but we can add on extra time if we want for additional cost.  Would us being there for 3 hours be enough since that will include dinner, first dance, parent dances, and cake cutting? I'm thinking we need to buy more time??

Thanks!

pinkrn19

Generally the cocktail hour is one hour and this is for the guests to snack and have a drink while the WP is taking pictures and such. Then the reception is usually about 4 hours.

pinkrn19

Oh..and your probably would have plenty of time for alll the traditional activities with 3 hours. However, if you have a younger guest list it may be fun to get the extra hour!

allisonkbye

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_length-of-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f3a73644-5a04-4ef1-81ee-c6210af71f03Post:23ec1111-7364-4d4e-861a-b2c6f786bdd6">Re: length of reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's incredibly selfish to put a gap in just so you guys can 'get the pictures you want' after the ceremony.  I'd say either do pictures BEFORE the ceremony, or cut your shotlist down to what can be done in an hour after the ceremony and host a cocktail hour for your guests while you do them. As for the rest of it, every reception I've been to like the one you're describing lasted about 5 hours, including the cocktail hour.  Not everyone stays until the end, but a majority usually does. I think you'll have time for dinner, dancing, and your 'traditional' reception stuff in 3 hours, but you might feel a bit rushed.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>the OP said a 2 hour gap not 5 hours. I think that is fine and like a pp said, 3 hours is good but if you have a lot of younger people who are there to party, 4 hours would deff suffice! 

</div>

KellyS01

Thanks ladies.  I appreciate your support allisonkbye - I don't feel I'm being selfish.  It is our day and we want some good photographs to remember it by.  We are doing some pictures before, but not of us together because we are doing the traditional idea that the groom won't see me until I walk down the aisle.  I've rarely been to weddings that don't have some gap in between.  Also, our reception hall is a good 25 minutes from the church and it is about 5 minutes from the mall, coffee shops,etc. and most people are from the area anyway. 

lthom17

We will be at our reception for 4.5 hours, including the cocktail hour.  I've heard that the wedding day goes by SO FAST so I want to enjoy each minute and maximize it!

I would highly recommend doing photos before the ceremony---some "first look" pre-ceremony photos are very beautiful and sentimental looking.

musicjailbird7

luckily our reception is at the same place as our ceremony, so guests can pile into the reception area while we do some photos 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_length-of-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f3a73644-5a04-4ef1-81ee-c6210af71f03Post:f4a689e6-4f43-4858-a5e7-fbc5ff32c994">Re: length of reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks ladies.  I appreciate your support allisonkbye - I don't feel I'm being selfish.  It is our day and we want some good photographs to remember it by.  We are doing some pictures before, but not of us together because we are doing the traditional idea that the groom won't see me until I walk down the aisle.  I've rarely been to weddings that don't have some gap in between.  Also, our reception hall is a good 25 minutes from the church and it is about 5 minutes from the mall, coffee shops,etc. and most people are from the area anyway. 
Posted by KellyS01[/QUOTE]

<div>You may not want to believe it, but making your guests wait for 2 hours while you do pictures is incredibly selfish.  </div><div>
</div><div>Most couples that choose not to see each other do all the pictures where they are seperate before the ceremony, and then need less than an hour to do the ones with B&G both in them.  There is absolutely no reason that you couldn't do this, other than you simply get off on being rude to your guests.  </div><div>
</div><div>Expecting your guests to sit around at a mall and wait for you to get around to hosting them is simply not acceptable.  If you insist on doing this, you will find that many guests skip either the ceremony or the reception, and those that do wait around for you will be annoyed and irritated by the reception.  This lack of hosting will be the only thing about your wedding that people will remember after the fact.  Do you really want your wedding to be something people have to endure?  Wouldn't you rather it be a happy memory for your loved ones?</div><div>
</div><div>Your reception should immediately follow the ceremony (minus travel time).  Your guests should be hosted for a cocktail hour while you finish up photos, and then go into the reception.  Typically, there's 1 hour for the cocktail hour followed by 3-4 hours for dinner and dancing.  </div>

ajroark

I think 3 hours will be enough time to accomplish the traditional wedding events, but if you're going to be off taking pictures for 2 hours (I do not agree with the PPs who say this is selfish), you may want some more time with your guests to visit with them. I would buy an additional hour or two if your budget allows for it. That way, you won't feel rushed and can enjoy spending time with your guests.

KellyS01

I appreciate the input, even though honesty isn't always easy to hear   I think we will only have about 45 minutes that guests will have "down" time before the cocktail hour if we start the reception at 5:45.  The soonest they could get there if they fly from the church to the reception would be 5:00. 

RaeRae1126

Wow...I'm kinda suprised at some of these answers. To answer your original question, I think you could get it all done in 3 hours, but I think its worth it to either have a cocktail hour before your reception kicks off, or add time on the end. That way you wont feel rushed and you can enjoy your guests and your night.

You are not selfish. A lot of weddings have gaps nowadays. Mine will, because my wedding has to start at 1:30 in the afternoon to make sure everything is cleared out before the 5pm Saturday mass begins at the church. Its our decision to have a dinner reception...so there will be about the same amount of time in between our ceremony and reception as yours. When I've been to weddings with gaps (happens alot in my circle) I've noticed guests rather enjoy having time to go back to their hotels/homes to freshen up or relax. One of my friends organized a scavenger hunt of sorts for guests to occupy their time between the two events. At the end of the day, your family and friends will be glad to celebrate with you. Take it easy girls...dont be so judgemental. 

RaeRae1126

Well for me, coming from a Catholic family, it happens because of the masses celebrated during the weekend at church. Its just unavoidable. And trust me..the guests arent complaining. Basically your arguement is that it is rude to make guests "wait" but that doesnt have to be the case. Guests dont just have to go straight to your reception site and tap their feet or bite their nails and wait for something to happen. There are things you can plan, like light refreshments or some type of activity, OR just left people do whatever they feel like until its time for cocktail hour to begin. Its okay if that's not something you would want but that doesnt make her selfish. Last winter, a friend of mine got married at 1:30, so by 2:30 the ceremony was over. Just because she has an early ceremony doesnt mean she wanted a lunchtime reception. So I'm letting you know OP Kelly, its ok. If you do cocktail hour, or perhaps have a family member host light refreshments after the ceremony, that will help. 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_length-of-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f3a73644-5a04-4ef1-81ee-c6210af71f03Post:ddd657d5-0678-47f1-ad91-358e4098ae30">Re: length of reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Well for me, coming from a Catholic family, it happens because of the masses celebrated during the weekend at church. Its just unavoidable. And trust me..the guests arent complaining. Basically your arguement is that it is rude to make guests "wait" but that doesnt have to be the case. Guests dont just have to go straight to your reception site and tap their feet or bite their nails and wait for something to happen. There are things you can plan, like light refreshments or some type of activity, OR just left people do whatever they feel like until its time for cocktail hour to begin. Its okay if that's not something you would want but that doesnt make her selfish. Last winter, a friend of mine got married at 1:30, so by 2:30 the ceremony was over. Just because she has an early ceremony doesnt mean she wanted a lunchtime reception. So I'm letting you know OP Kelly, its ok. If you do cocktail hour, or perhaps have a family member host light refreshments after the ceremony, that will help. 
Posted by RaeRae1126[/QUOTE]

<div>That's such a cop out.  A gap is never unavoidable.  It's just a sign of a lazy or selfish couple.  </div><div>
</div><div>Coming from my catholic family who has tons of huge catholic weddings, I've been to a sum total of one wedding with a gap.  Not all catholics are this inconsiderate, so please don't try to lump everyone in with yourself.  And guess what, 4 years later, people still comment about how rude and inconsiderate that gap was.  I'm sure my cousin and his wife are delighted that this is how the family remembers their wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>You may be ok with treating your guests that way, but the fact that you are ok with it does not make it acceptable for the whole world.</div>

RaeRae1126

I didnt lump all Catholics together, I said this is what is normal in my circle and in my area (check my posting). Settle down, ladies! I'm giving her suggestions on what she can do to cut down on the lengh of the gap.  Obviously not everyone will agree, but dont put words in my mouth. If its not for you, its not. I just dont agree that you can call someone selfish and you dont even know her. There are respectful ways to disagree without namecalling. Knotties are supposed to be gving constructive advice.

Heather8505

I don't know if it has already been mentioned, but 30 minutes of the 2 hour gap is traveling time and an hour would be the cocktail hour.  The bride and groom would just have to miss out on that but that is only a 30 minute gap and can easily be filled with bathroom breaks and walking to cars and such.  I don't think it is that unreasonable as she does not expect them to just sit at an empty reception hall for 2 hours.

But for your question-I'd buy another hour if you can afford it as you already have the DJ and everything for the 5 hours, but 1+3 hours would be sufficient if you needed it to be

Kari423

Wow is right to the responses!

Can you add time at the end of the night? If it gets half hour from ending can you ask the DJ to play for one more hour? Just play it by ear.

I do have to agree that having guests wait for 2 hours is a bit selfish. My question is why is it taking your photographer 2 whole hours to get some good photos!? Should take 30 minutes tops to get hundreds of photos. Unless you are traveling to multiple locations and doing hundreds of full family pics. Is there some nice outside areas at the reception that you could sneak away from the reception for 30 minutes during dancing to get some more photos and cut down the lag time between the ceremony and reception.

As I read it you have the travel time on top of the 2 hours of photos which means over 2 hours, correct?