My fiancé and I will be getting married in Spain in August 2012, but we are working on figuring out how to accommodate both our families. My fiancé's family lives in a couple European countries and so all will be attending the wedding. My family is in the U.S., but my immediate family (and one or two other relatives) will be coming to Spain to celebrate with us. My other relatives will not be coming due to a combination of financial constraints and generally having hardly left their state, much less the country.
My FI and I live in Texas, while most of my family is in NY (though I didn't grow up there). From the beginning, we have been planning to do the ceremony + reception in Spain with a small party/dinner in Texas after we get back home. However, we are now realizing that the same people who won't fly to Spain likely won't make the trip to Texas either, especially if all we're doing in Texas is a small party. My mom has suggested doing a larger party in NY, where my family is, but most of our friends are grad students (like us), living on stipends who can't make an expensive trip to NY in the middle of the semester. It's annoying to me to think I should feel compelled to travel the country doing parties for people who don't travel, but I don't want to isolate or be rude to my family members either.