potluck dinners for reception....?

asher007

so i was talking with my grandma and she says she wonders why more people dont do it more to save money.... but my question is....is it tacky or do you think its a good idea?
all feedback appreciated!
thanks
~ash

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I agree with malphabet. People already go out of their way to travel, bring a gift, perhaps take off from work and buy attire. You want them to bring their own food, too? (PS, I do have dietary restrictions, so not even knowing what will be served in advance, or what the dishes are cooked with would be nervewracking for me. Who do I ask?)

It's almost tantamount to charging guests an admission fee to your wedding to cover the cost of their meal. Almost. Not quite.

megk8oz

Potluck receptions are klassy with a capital K.

Pretty much unless you're from an area where it's considered acceptable (I'm from an area that would not respond so well) ... or maybe if you're having an extremely casual backyard BBQ reception, I have no idea why anybody would think potluck was a good idea for a wedding.

Lasairiona

A potluck is fine for a church picnic or a family reunion. But at a wedding, since it is basically a large party you are hosting and financing yourself, guests should not be expected to provide their own food and drink. The same applies to expecting them to pay for such things that you have already at the venue. Cut back to whatever you can afford yourselves, even if that means cake and coffee at a non-meal time.

Mrs.B6302007

Potlucks come across as the couple being too cheap to provide for their guests.  There is a huge difference between cheap and economical.

Goldlie11

If you are planning on going to the Courthouse or City hall with a small group, then MAYBE you could have a potluck in your home afterwards. I'm having a small City Hall wedding and taking out those who attend to a very nice meal.  I'm also giving favors and thinking about some kind of activity packet for the guests while they wait at City Hall.  The point is to treat your guests well for attending and celebrating with you.  

duckie1905

I don't like being asked to travel, buy clothes, buy a gift, and cook the dinner.  If you are hosting people for your reception, you provide the food.

Besides, potlucks are tricky.  For those of us with food allergies it would probably be near impossible to eat because no one would know exactly what was used in the dish except for the cook (which we might not be able to identify).  Not to mention food safety can also be an issue.  How do you plan on keeping foods at a proper and safe temperature?

Don't do it.  It comes off as very cheap, IMO.

psichick

i always wonder where grandmother's come up with this stuff. and it's ALWAYS grandmothers. this behavior wouldn't have been ok in her time (unless it was during the great depression possibly) so why would she think it's ok now?

this is about as low class as it gets imo.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]Potluck receptions are klassy with a capital K. Pretty much unless you're from an area where it's considered acceptable (I'm from an area that would not respond so well) ... or maybe if you're having an extremely casual backyard BBQ reception, I have no idea why anybody would think potluck was a good idea for a wedding.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

My parents have been to a couple of potluck receptions and everyone raved about how much fun they were. 

But these were VERY casual, laid back firehall or backyard receptions for their church friends with invitations spread by word of mouth and few OOT guests.  This is a group where there are few food allergies, potlucks are held regularly and people have some favorite dishes that they can set up to keep them at the proper temperatures, and wedding receptions are viewed as an excuse for a fun celebration and not at all as a thank you for the guests. 

It would not be well received among some circles in our area, but among that particular one it is.  So it can work very well, but unless you know your guests are gung ho about a potluck wedding I would not recommend it.

asher007

all very great opinions and im thankful for this group.... my wedding has to stay under 10k includind the dress and so far ive kept it cheap... just seems like caterers like to charge and arm and a leg for next to nothing. most of my family have had potlucks at the dance hall... idk im just torn cus i see how much its going to cost... im already skimping where i can but it seems like i cant cut much more without making it look too cheap...ie hardly any flowers and im doing everything myself. i thought it wasnt a good idea but i was just making sure with the help of you gals...
so ty!

anyone know of suggestions for cheap good caterers?

mbcdefg

Ask your local board about catering companies in your area.

Are you only talking to "wedding caterers"? If so, remember that the W-word automatically jacks up the price on most things. Talk to regular caterers.

If regular caterers are also too expensive, talk to local restaurants, delis and cafes. Also pick up the catering menus from local supermarkets. Those are usually lower-priced than catering companies. If you need help with setup, serving or cleanup, hire some waiters - again, talk to the staff at local cafes, or check Craigslist.

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:8a9e8166-075d-4aa3-bfa0-757a9980dc3a">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ask your local board about catering companies in your area. Are you only talking to "wedding caterers"? If so, remember that the W-word automatically jacks up the price on most things. Talk to regular caterers. If regular caterers are also too expensive, talk to local restaurants, delis and cafes. Also pick up the catering menus from local supermarkets. Those are usually lower-priced than catering companies. If you need help with setup, serving or cleanup, hire some waiters - again, talk to the staff at local cafes, or check Craigslist.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]


thanks,
im just lost... thanks for all the suggestions and ill def look into them. i was just looking at local restaurants that i know my fam and i love. ill keep searching... i have time wedding isnt til after i get my associates.

again thanks for direction!

MyNameIsNot

If you haven't already, check out the budget brides board.  There are tons of ladies over there with half your budget.  They can help you figure out some options for keeping the decor and other costs down.

killertomato47

A friend's little sister got married a few years ago and had a potluck reception which worked well for them and the overall feel of their wedding. It was small wedding in a park--bride wore a very simple dress, bridesmaids wore sundresses, groomsmen wore kakhis and button down shirts etc.

 For the reception, at the park pavillion,  the bride's uncles grilled various meats and they asked a few close, local, friends make salads and side dishes to share. The "bar" was a bunch of coolers of beer and soda.

Given the overall laid back feel of the wedding, this kind of reception worked. However, I feel that in the case of the OP, with a $10,000 budget, a potluck is not ok.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:14600ea2-48c7-4dd4-9d20-4cedda4962c5">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]all very great opinions and im thankful for this group.... my wedding has to stay under 10k includind the dress and so far ive kept it cheap... just seems like caterers like to charge and arm and a leg for next to nothing. most of my family have had potlucks at the dance hall... idk im just torn cus i see how much its going to cost... im already skimping where i can but it seems like i cant cut much more without making it look too cheap...ie hardly any flowers and im doing everything myself. i thought it wasnt a good idea but i was just making sure with the help of you gals... so ty! anyone know of suggestions for cheap good caterers?
Posted by asher007[/QUOTE]
I see you're in Boston, which is a HCOL place.  I'm in NYC which is very expensive too.  I've found quite a few places in Manhattan that are in my budget (which is the same as yours).  Go for a restaurant if you list does not exceed 100.  If you do have a big guest list, consider trimming it.  Don't let your family (other than your FI) bully you into inviting more than you can afford.  <div>
</div><div>Without knowing the specifics of your wedding, it's hard to offer more advice.  Best of luck to you.</div><div>
</div>

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:5e12ad98-3856-40dd-8f00-2d0e38fcf087">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: potluck dinners for reception....? : I see you're in Boston, which is a HCOL place.  I'm in NYC which is very expensive too.  I've found quite a few places in Manhattan that are in my budget (which is the same as yours).  Go for a restaurant if you list does not exceed 100.  If you do have a big guest list, consider trimming it.  Don't let your family (other than your FI) bully you into inviting more than you can afford.   Without knowing the specifics of your wedding, it's hard to offer more advice.  Best of luck to you.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

thanks,
i had to break down and ask my fiance to add a few thousand to the budget.... so i think a caterer of no more than 50 per person will work....
im not too sure of my wedding either... so many options
i have decided to go to davids bridal and spend 10% of what i would at kieinfelds... cut corners there and im now looking at venues that include everything for a set price.... anyone else feel overwhelmed?

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:087b1ecd-e179-4520-8887-a53e10d777f5">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: potluck dinners for reception....? : thanks, i had to break down and ask my fiance to add a few thousand to the budget.... so i think a caterer of no more than 50 per person will work.... im not too sure of my wedding either... so many options i have decided to go to davids bridal and spend 10% of what i would at kieinfelds... cut corners there and im now looking at venues that include everything for a set price.... anyone else feel overwhelmed?
Posted by asher007[/QUOTE]
Are you saying that you're inviting no more than 50 people or that you can't pay any more than 50?

asher007

no more than $50 per person

Goldlie11

That might be kind of tough, though not impossible.  I found a place that charges $42 a person for lunch, but that does not include any alcohol.  With that budget, you might have to either do a dry reception, or find a place that will allow you to bring your own liquor.  How many guests are you inviting?

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:6df47fe8-49d3-42a9-9945-7894489124a5">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]That might be kind of tough, though not impossible.  I found a place that charges $42 a person for lunch, but that does not include any alcohol.  With that budget, you might have to either do a dry reception, or find a place that will allow you to bring your own liquor.  How many guests are you inviting?
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

our list is about 100 and im not letting it go any more... we have cut it down to the people we'd hate to miss seeing there. i dont plan on providing peoples alcohol as i dont drink. im not oppossed if they buy it but im not paying for it.

Goldlie11

Well, if you're interested, I would definitely find a restaurant with a private room.  You'd be surprised with how many of them can accommodate a party of your size.  Many even have dance floors.  Many of them would appreciate the business, since the recession is taking a toll on them.  Speak with them about your budget and they might be willing to work with you.  Bonus: chairs, linens, and waitstaff are already included.

Try this website, it's been really helpful to me:

www.opentable.com

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:780992dd-b79a-4001-9d2d-588c8de14666">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, if you're interested, I would definitely find a restaurant with a private room.  You'd be surprised with how many of them can accommodate a party of your size.  Many even have dance floors.  Many of them would appreciate the business, since the recession is taking a toll on them.  Speak with them about your budget and they might be willing to work with you.  Bonus: chairs, linens, and waitstaff are already included. Try this website, it's been really helpful to me: <a href="http://www.opentable.com" rel="nofollow">www.opentable.com</a>
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

thanks!

lauralaur

How casual or formal is your wedding? I ask because I know Moe's caters. I personally love Moe's so if I went to a casual wedding and saw Moe's catered the event I would be psyched.

Also, are you looking to get married in Boston? You may want to consider looking a bit outside of Boston for better prices.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:41ce0302-e1ae-4b51-9166-074a9cd77844">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: potluck dinners for reception....? : i dont plan on providing peoples alcohol as i dont drink. im not oppossed if they buy it but im not paying for it.
Posted by asher007[/QUOTE]

Either go dry or have a bar.  Having guests pay for their own drinks is no less tacky than having them bring the food. 

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:de553f8e-9985-4949-b07e-605fc74c5375">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]How casual or formal is your wedding? I ask because I know Moe's caters. I personally love Moe's so if I went to a casual wedding and saw Moe's catered the event I would be psyched. Also, are you looking to get married in Boston? You may want to consider looking a bit outside of Boston for better prices.
Posted by lauralaur[/QUOTE]


im not getting married in boston im in western mass

Goldlie11

Even though a potluck isn't the way to go, what about a backyard BBQ?  I went to one once where they got married in the bride's family's house and had a BBQ.  They got most of the food at Costco. Everyone had a blast and it was super inexpensive.

asher007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:41b38d2a-9740-48b1-b7c2-439dc72ad4d2">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]Even though a potluck isn't the way to go, what about a backyard BBQ?  I went to one once where they got married in the bride's family's house and had a BBQ.  They got most of the food at Costco. Everyone had a blast and it was super inexpensive.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]


we arent going that casual... we are getting married in a church and having a reception in the legion hall or if we can scrape up some more money we are going to have the wedding at the watchusett village inn.... but thanks for the suggestion

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_potluck-dinners-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9c0c21c-6d8c-47f0-8123-05075380aefdPost:e7c7ae87-e83f-46ab-84e1-0ba2e942478a">Re: potluck dinners for reception....?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: potluck dinners for reception....? : we arent going that casual... we are getting married in a church and having a reception in the legion hall or if we can scrape up some more money we are going to have the wedding at the watchusett village inn.... but thanks for the suggestion
Posted by asher007[/QUOTE]
No problem.  You and your FI have to do what works best for you.  Unfortunately, I don't know anyone with a house big enough to fit all 30 people I'm inviting comfortably or else I would be doing a backyard BBQ.   I love BBQ food.  

asher007

ya im just so lost as to what to do.... im under a ton of pressure to impress his family and mine.... his side of the family has lots of money and mine are so poor they cant pay for their own shoes.... my family is ok with something laidback.... his im not sure of

antimony

What about timing the reception to avoid a meal?  A nice cheese plate and a cake is a lot cheaper than dinner or lunch -- not only is the food cheaper, you don't have to hire people to roam around with it. 

Afternoon also might mean you could skip alcohol entirely without disappointing people. 

But if impressing is what you want, a potluck isn't it -- sounds like it'd be fine for your family (my family would also totally go for it -- cooking is the favored hobby of so many of them).

Also, talk to your fiance!