Outside & Inside Envelope names: What's the difference?

lynlovesjoe

What's the difference between:"Name/s as they appear on the outside envelope" & "Name/s as they appear on the inside envelope"?Is one of them supposed to be  addressed with Mr & Ms, and one not? Is one supposed to not have last names or first names? I don't know anything about this stuff.I would post this in the invitation section but I am unable to post on any of the normal knot boards since about a month ago-- maybe I was banned? haha. I'm not even a destination bride, I am just getting married at a theme park 45 minutes away from where most guests live. Does anybody else have problems posting on the main boards? It's like there is just no reply or post buttons; it's like they were never there.

sarlah

Names as they appear on the outside: Mr. and Mrs. John JonesNames as they appear on the inside: John and JaneHTH :)I don't think I have a problem posting on other boards, but I really only post in this one.

FutureMrs.McC

I just did outer but my understanding is: Mr. and Mrs. John Doe on the outer John, Jane and childrens names (if invited) on inner

lynlovesjoe

Do you mean the woman go second? isn't that what you initially wrote?I think that it would be really weird if I sent the invite to my friend's house and it was addressed to her boyfriend(whom I have never met) above her. I mean, he is "and Guest" really. He doesn't even live with her. It's just that I am taking down everybody's guest before I send out invites. She may not even tell her boyfriend about it because he doesn't like to hang out with her friends.How about this? I address the outside envelope under Ms Jane Smith and on the inside I put Jane and John? Is that better?

lynlovesjoe

Another question: do I always use their proper name as in no nicknames?  I call my cousin Harry, but should I address it as Harold? I think that's how it goes.

sarlah

This website seems to have some good advice/standards on the issue:[url]http://www.einvite.com/info/wedding-etiquette/addressing-envelope/?Cobrand=eInvite&Site=eInvite&vk=1777211146[/url]Also, I think as far as using nicknames... that's personal. Does your cousin HATE being called Harold? Maybe addressing it to Harry is better then. And remember you can always put Harry on the inner envelope. For my FI & I we are addressing our inner envelopes as we see fit, for example, the invitation going to my aunt & uncle will read on the inside envelope: Uncle Mike and Auntie Diane. My inner envelope for my MOH will say the nickname I call her, which is nothing like her real name.

CNN in 2010

Okay I have a question in relation to this.  Lets say you invite a friend and his girlfriend.  What is proper etiquette, labeling it ex:John Larry and Lisa No Lastname?John Larry and Lisa Lastname?Thanks!

lynlovesjoe

sarlah: You rock! This is a great resource web page! This answers most of my questions! It says I can do it alphabetically or by woman's name first for guests with different last names, so I think I will do both so I can address them by relationship first. It's funny because if I don't care to know the guests name than I don't have to list them first if that's proper etiquette.So If you girls were inviting your friend David Smith but his partner is named Anna Marsh, you'd put his girlfriend's name first? It still seems weird to me. It's like: "Hi Anna, I don't know you at all, but I want you to come to my wedding and you should bring my best friend too!" haha. If I address it the way I want to, will anybody give a f---? I think they would get what I was trying to do anyways and be okay with it.

IrisS

Totally jumping in here..Can someone enlighten me and tell me whats this "inside envelope" you guys are talking about? I already sent out STDs, so i probably did it all wrong But i still have my invites to make it better!

FutureMrs.McC

Iris:  Typically, wedding invitations have an outer and inner envelope.  You would not do this with STDs because they are much more informal.  I personally only did one envelope for my invites.

lynlovesjoe

I think I am going with a single envelope too. It seems easier and probably cheaper...My save the dates will be in one envelope as well. I already ordered them from vistaprint.com and got a free stamp to use on all of the envelopes for the return address.

FutureMrs.McC

CNN:  Technically they should go on separate lines.  The "and" implies they are married.  I really feel like no one gives a hoot now days and I addressed mine as I saw fit.  I used "and" for non-marrieds and used my BF's nickname.  Nobody uses her real name.  It gets really confussing!  My cousin got divorced and changed her name back.  She lives with her boyfriend and her son who has the same name as his father.  I just did:Shannon D and John VCasey CI don't care if it's wrong!

captainleela

Iris, I think theses days it's more common to just have an outer envelope. Inner evelopes are typically only used for formal events. And they're only used for the actual invites, not the STDs so you didn't screw anything up Iris. As for the addressing rules, I personally say screw "the rules" and just do it how you want. I really don't think anyone will notice if your invites aren't addressed alphabetically. If you're inviting someone plus a guest, just put the originial person's name first and then the guest's (or "plus guest").

IrisS

FutureMrs.McC thanks for the explanation! I had no idea invitations had two envelopes. Thank goodness i am doing a DW, otherwise i would have done it all wrong :)I figure if I don't know about these norms, most people i invite won't either, lol.

IrisS

Lol, who knew it would be so much to work to just address envelopes?

FutureMrs.McC

I know, it's terrible!  I just gave up caring because my wedding and guests are not formal. CNN:  One more thing, it should have her last name on the outer envelope and just her first on the inner.

CNN in 2010

That's what I thought and thats how I labeled mine.  Thanks FutureMrs.McC !  I was just asking b/c my fbil's fiance just sent out her "formal outside and inside envelope" invite and she labeled the outside Mr. Caleb X and Natalie.... she didn't even care enough to find out my last name!  I know, I know, she did that on purpose because she doesn't like me.  I just wanted to double check thanks!

suzannepdc

lyn - I believe that if the couple do not share surnames, you are supposed to put the woman first, but if they do, then the man's name is first (which makes no sense to me).  And I am as liberal as they come, so I refuse to address anything as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, but always do:  Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith.  Pet peeve of mine is when married woman lose their first names! HTH!

lynlovesjoe

CNN - Maybe, JUST maybe, she was leaving out the last name until she found it out and forgot the she left it blank and sent it anyways. I was listed as Guest on an invitation to my fiance for a wedding. I told him to bring someone else as his guest, but instead he went by himself. This couple snubbed me twice: First they didn't come to my engagement party after they rsvpd because they didn't feel like it, and then this "and Guest" business. Is it that hard to look at your facebook friends list and take down my name? I think it is too hard to fit them into my wedding guest list though... muahaha! In yo' face!I agree that it is my invites and I can address them by whomevers name first I'd like. I am so liberal I refuse to use Mrs or delete woman's first names. It's not like I would ever refer to her as Mrs John Smith, how weird is that (in the real world?) I wouldn't want to lose my name in an invite addressed to me... or be called "guest"

CNN in 2010

I love your style haha.  If she "forgot" to add my last name it's because she either didn't want to or doesn't know what's appropriate, even though she says she's the Queen of wedding etiquette.   We mailed out our std's before they mailed out their formal invites, so she had our magnet with my last name on her frig, maybe.  This ho just doesn't like me, she has wedding competition with me, and I'm not even in the race though hahaOh well to each their own, I just think it's kinda rude because I am an individual and even though I don't have fi's last name yet doesn't mean I don't have a last name. Label your invites how you see fit.  We did ours as ex: John Jones and Lisa Barry for a couple not married, or when it was a family The Jones Family, because we are inviting the whole family. And if it was a married couple we still did it as John Jones and Lisa Jones.  It was our std's so we didn't make it formal. Good Luck!

lynlovesjoe

CNN- It sounds like she is messing with you. I think maybe she saw Bride Wars too many times. You can always do the same to her and let her know how it feels. I am evil like that though. And anything at her wedding, you can do the nicer version of. haha. She has paper fans.. you have sandalwood fans (that kinda thing)! Sometimes competition can be fun, especially if you win...Good luck with that though. I am adding you as a friend so that I can check up on any updates you have about this all. You should post up a picture of you in your beautiful gown and her in the beackground acting like a ho, maybe she can have some food in her mouth and you can post it as your profile picture online! Now that's evil...

CNN in 2010

Lynlovesjoe, you are a crack up!  I added you to my friends list.  I see you're from Stockton, CA that's awesome! I was born and raise in Cali... then I moved to Vegas about 5 years ago.  I miss Cali though ( I know she doesn't like me, I'm not being caddy, and that's fine she doesn't have to like me and I don't have to like her but we should respect each other and I do show her respect even in something as small as an invite label.  Sometimes when I hear about things she's said about our wedding and how their's is so much better I get mad and think of revenge but then again we're goin got be married to the same family so I'm keeping the peace for fi's sake.  I refuse to go to her wedding because it doesn't reflect my fbil at all and he's said that he's not even looking forward to his own wedding anymore and that's just sad. So I'll let fi go support his brother and I'll stay home and take care of our fur kids! Good luck with your plans, let me know how your invites come out :O) Natalie

lynlovesjoe

CNN- I lived in Silicon Valley up until 2 years ago and I moved here for work. I miss my South Bay! That's why my wedding will be in the south bay. I love Cali though, I can't imagine living somewhere else. As you may know, Stockton isn't a nice place to live. I hope to move closer to San Fran after the wedding.I may say these evil things but most of the time I try to stop myself. For example: My fiance and I were friends with a couple but they excluded us from their wedding and stopped talking to us and I still don't know why. Sooo, I considered announcing our engagement on their wedding date. haha. I didn't... I couldn't wait to announce ours, so I did it a few weeks before her wedding. And then had our engagement party a couple weeks after her wedding. Thankfully none of our friends are close friends with eachother, so we didn't have to deal with the drama of it all. But that's all in the past. My feelings were just hurt back then, but I don't care now. Her wedding looked lame anyways.When you say fur kids, do you mean your pets? I love furry babies! I have 3 rabbits, 2 cats and 2 dogs.. and some fish. I should take a family portrait of us. hehe

CNN in 2010

Sometimes you don't understand why people act the way they do but the way I see it why waste my time thinking about them? That just means they've gotten what they want out of me... like my fbil's fi.I was raised in So-Cal and miss it sooo much!! I'd love to move back but it's so expensive to live in California, but Las Vegas is getting that way too. Fi is in the services so hopefully one day we'll be able to move back to home sweet home :O)

CNN in 2010

Oh yea my fur kids ) I have 3 dogs, a Rottie she's my baby,  a beagle mix she's the middle child, and a min pin he's the eldest.  Love them to death, they are mine and fi's world ) They own us we don't own them!Man you have a clan! I love bunnies I had one before. We take family pics! Actually our save the date has a family pic. ) Everyone knows how much our dogs mean to us so they're in all of our pics we send out. 

lynlovesjoe

I try not to rack my brain trying to figure out people. I didn't know they were mad at me until I found out from a random guy that they were engaged for about a month and I called to say hey and she didn't know who I was because she no longer had my name in her phone. I was a little shocked.The only idea I have is that we had to leave the guys birthday party early because my fiance started feeling really sick and ended up puking a few minutes after we left. Maybe they thought we were making excuses to leave? I really don't know why somebody would assume that though.I guess we weren't all that close like I thought we were.I have trouble taking family photos because of the quantity of the kids. Even just our dogs and cats have trouble standing still for a picture. I got a lot of pictures of me and my dogs butt! My Cousin-in-law's save the dates was a picture of their dog wearing a tux admiring himself in an antique mirror, it was pretty adorable!You should post some of these pictures and such.

CNN in 2010

I'd like to but I just don't trust the internet and you never know who's stocking or who wants to know your business that's why I don't put up any pics.