Just need to get this all out *long*

sarlah

I'm feeling really down today, and I'm not sure exactly why. There are so many different things going on right now. I kind of feel like the wedding has actually become way more than what I wanted. I feel like I subconsciously was drawn to a DW because I didn't want a huge wedding, but what I feel I really wanted was to elope / have ONLY our immediate families there. I'm just really starting to realize that people come and go, but your family really is forever. Also I had previously posted about how my best friend & MOH wouldn't be at my bridal shower, and I originally was like "bad things happen, it's just one of those thing" but now it is really beginning to bother me. I think I'm really upset that she has been so uninvolved with everything and now she is missing my shower. It's not ok anymore, I'm so upset about it. She's like "Yeah but I'll be at the bachelorette party!" And I just find myself thinking, "right, the b-party you were suppose to plan but pushed off on your sister". I have no right to actually be angry, it's an unfortunate circumstance, but I am upset and very sad about it.I understand everyone is busy and I can't expect everyone's lives to stop so they can help me, I don't expect that at all. Also I realized I really miss my mom. We used to do a lot together and hang out quite a bit. We used to go to the movies together a lot, it was like 'our thing'. Well this past weekend I found out she went to the movies with my brothers girlfriend and this normally would not bother me at all, I am not a brat, but it just totally crushed me. Like, I was in tears over something so dumb. In some ways I feel like in the past year I have kind of... abandoned her? If that makes sense. I know the whole, leaving the nest thing is natural, but with escrow about to close, I think it's all hitting me at once. I'm excited for FI & I to have our own home, but I'm really going to miss seeing my family all the time.Ok... I'm going to stop now because this is actually making me more upset. Usually venting makes me feel better, but not today. I think it's part everything piling up, and part PMS (for sure). I feel like I have Pre-Wedding Bell Blues. lol.I really love my DW knotties, I don't know what I would do throughout this process if I didn't have this space to turn to. TIA for reading

melissaandjaredforever

Big hugs Sarah! Im sorry to hear you're feeling down right now and I dont want to be that person that gives annoying advice, but just hang in there and know things will turn around. As Annie used to say, the sun will come out tomorrow. You are such a sweet person and you can do it!

FutureMrs.McC

I'm sorry you're going through this.  It sounds like you're just a little overwhelmed plus normal girlie stuff.  We all go through ups and downs.  Throw yourself a little pity party, eat ice cream and watch crappy movies.  Or if you wanna get out of the house, maybe a little retail therapy is in order.  Make a date with your mom.  Just out of curiosity - do you live at home and that's why you won't see your fam as much or are you moving further away?It sucks about your MOH.  I'm sorry she hasn't been there for you like you would like.  Congrats on the house!  I bet settlement will turn your mood around

LadyBird9

BIG HUGS TO YOU!!! I was in the same place when I was about 6 months out... I know that you will be okay in the end... just keep your chin up! You are definitely dealing with some things you shouldn't have to deal with... but you are doing it with class! Keep venting to us and we will always be here! And pour yourself a big glass of wine! :-)

carrieoz_76

Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're feeling down! Weddings do bring transition, and change isn't easy, especially when it means forging new relationships and changing old ones. Sometimes I find it helpful to think about which of my friends/family is best at making me feel better about whatever it is that's bumming me out, and making sure to call that person. Some ppl are better with work stuff, some with wedding stuff, some with family issues, etc. Is there someone that you can call who's really good at making you feel better about this stuff for you? If so - reach out to him/her. This is what friends/family are for, and we just have to let them know when we need their help. Best of luck. Feel better soon!

sarlah

Thanks ladies :)FutureMrsMcC - I do live at home still, and even when FI & I move into our new home I will only be like 15 minutes from my family. It's just more of the change and comfort of being right near my family I think. To top things off, I just hate my FIL's. I really think I actually hate them. FBIL is the youngest in the family and he is such a baby, like a real spoiled brat who happens to be married and have a kid. FI's parents won't ever say anything to him though because they are scared if they make him mad he won't let them see the grandson. So basically FBIL tortures everyone and makes our lives miserable, and knows he can get away with it. It's so disgusting how he uses his own son as a pawn in his selfishness. If FI says something to his parents, they just tell him to deal with it. FI lives at home (he was laid off last year and had to move back home, it was a very difficult situation), well he has told his parents that once we move into our home they won't be seeing much of us because of the sh!tty situation there and how unfairly they treat FI every chance they get. His parents are like, "don't say that, what do expect us to do?" It's so frustrating.

Soon2bMrsNaylor

(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry you're feeling so down sweetie. I feel that way sometimes to. I chalk it up the stress of planning a wedding and an AHR (which is turning out to be nothing like what I wanted). Some days you just need to be bummed. But, there will be brighter days ahead. Maybe a drink and a bubble bath would help

sarlah

I could definitely go for a drink, like five.

chosen175

*HUGE HUG* Ya know what? In a few short months, you'll be married to the love of your life and NOTHING will be more important - not your IL's or MOH or anyone else. NOBODY can take away what you and your dh will have together. Every ounce of sorrow will be outshined by 2 ounces of amazing love and happiness that only marrying the love of your life can bring. Hang in there. I know it's hard and you have a lot on your plate, but just stay focused on what matters and forget the people who don't.

sarlah

I sent FI a long email telling him everything that is bothering me right now. He already asked me what was wrong when I saw him tonight, but I'm just so bad at explaining why I'm upset while I'm upset. I end up a blubbering idiot before I get the first issue out. I don't know if email is the healthiest form of communication, but it is the best way for me to get my feelings out there and be clear. Hopefully he doesn't freak out since there were like ten things on there, all of which there's no real solution. Just things that have piled up and are bugging me. Time for bed now!

CNN in 2010

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Sarah.  You're second guessing yourself because I'm sure you're tired of planning and taking care of the details to the perfect wedding you and your fi have in mind.  Hey, planning a wedding is hard work, but don't let it get you down.  The day of your wedding you're going to be so happy you planned your wedding to be this b/c it represents you and your fi. And as far as your moh goes, I understand why you feel hurt, I'm hurt that certain people arn't coming to our wedding, I know some won't come to my bs, but you know what, screw it! Don't let anyone or any plans change the happiness you feel about getting married.  You're only getting married once, enjoy every bit of it b/c it goes by fast.  Take all the good in and forget the bad :O)