*****Nati05*****

mekiakoo

"You know I've thought about this a few times and I've noticed that your writing is excellent! All of it! Did that take some time?

I ask because FI's daughter is deaf, but her writing is not good.. at all. She's 12 and recently learning to conjugate very few verbs (absolutely essential for spanish). Her sentences are still basic words put together. Personally I don't think her school is the greatest place for her to be but there's not much we can do about that. She lives with her mom who isn't the most involved mother and doesn't seem to care much about her progress. IMO it's pretty sad. Of course, I'm not sure how the system works but I would think she'd be writing fairly understandable sentences by now, correct me if I'm wrong. When did you begin developing your writing skills?"

I copied and pasted your response and I wanted to be able to reply to you without it getting lost in the thread!

I honestly believe that I'd not be this good if it weren't for my parents. My parents pushed me hard, especially my dad. They encouraged me to read a lot and that is how I pretty much learned how to write. I remember when I was 7 and I was at my brother's book fair at his school and I was picking out picture books to buy, my dad told me that I was required to pick out a couple of 100% "word" books (without pictures at all). I remember picking 2 "Goosebumps" books and LOVED it and that's when I started to read a lot.

It also has a lot to do with how deaf people learn in schools. When I was growing up, I had teachers who were able to sign and they always used a bilingual educational approach which means they teach subjects in both languages (in this case- American Sign Language and English). And it really helps deaf people learn English!

A lot of my deaf friends aren't fond of reading as much as I am and I think it really affects how they write because they have no other way to "see" how English is like other than reading the captions on the TV or going on the internet.

I think it also helps that I am able to read lips very well so I grew up watching how people spoke. A fact: deaf people will usually be able to understand only 30% of what is being said if they rely on lip-reading. So it is a very difficult skill to achieve.

Another fact: most deaf adults read at 4th grade level. This saddens me, but at the same time it does not surprise me.

I really believe that deaf people need to work hard to be able to read/write in English fluently. It helps when their parents are very involved and the process shouldn't just stop at schools, it has to be worked on at home too.

Where does your FI's daughter go to school to? What are they doing to help her learn English? Does she use American Sign Language? Does she like to read? I am sorry about your FI's daughter- and it is pretty common. I hope her mom can get more involved with her education.

So sorry about the long post!

Nati05

That's so great your parents supported and pushed you as much as they did! And I'm sure it takes a lot of hard work on your part as well so that's amazing! FI's daughter goes to a public school that's really kind of a foundation for deaf and blind students. However it's known that public schools (as opposed to private ones) here in Quito don't always have the greatest education. But I think there's a lot to do with her home environment like you mentioned. She lives with her mom who is wayyy too lax and her grandparents who well, play the part as grandparents and spoil her to an extent. She's got all sorts of things going on because of this but we're very worried about her communication skills for the future. 

I'm not sure what they do to improve her Spanish but we're almost positive they don't bother to correct her very much at home. FI always insists on correcting her and demanding that she write better when she messages him. He says he knows she can write better but since she's hardly ever pushed to improve, she doesn't like to bother when she feels it isn't necessary. And the worst part is, since FI is the only person who takes the time and makes an extra effort to improve her communication skills (and also eating habits now that she's slightly obese for her age because of her home environment as well) she doesn't like to see him as much anymore because daddy always pushes her to do better and it annoys her. She'd rather visit someone else because they let her do whatever she wants. It's really sad and upsetting to tell the truth. That's why I wanted to know from your experience what is an average age for developed writing skills, because I'm hoping she still has a chance at learning how to effectively communicate with the world when she's older. I hope her mom gets a wake up call too and involves herself more in her daughter's future

mekiakoo

Good for your FI!! I understand though- kids would prefer to be with somebody who doesn't challenge them, but they don't realize how much it will benefit them in the long run.

I'm ashamed to say this but a lot of deaf schools around here aren't very good either (mostly residential schools)- not trying to offend anyone here. My parents at first refused to let me to go to one during my high school years, but I pleaded and begged them to let me go because all of my friends were there. They let me go to one as long as I still took core courses at a nearby public school while I took elective courses at the deaf school. I'm sad to say that my experience with the deaf school's education wasn't very good. If I have deaf kids- I'd not want them to go there either. I see a lot of my deaf friends who grew up going to a deaf school struggle with writing and reading compared to those who were mainstreamed. I'm not quite sure why. But at the same time deaf schools are very good socially wise. There aren't very many deaf people who live near anyone (they're all spread out all over) and it is often nice for them to be able to get together and share their language and culture.

Like we all know, schools really can't do everything- parents & the community has to also step up and help out. We are struggling with a deaf student at the school I work at- the parents aren't very involved, the student was adopted from Mexico at 11 years old. The struggle is even greater especially because the student has to learn an entirely new language at 11 years old. The parents don't even sign or help out at home- they blame the school for the student's academic level (the student is currently almost 18 and reads at 2nd grade level). The student isn't even able to communicate with the parents at all. It angers me so much, but it is quite common. 90% of deaf babies are born to hearing parents and most of them do not learn how sign.

Elinetrouwt

Sorry, waltzing in here to brag a bit about my sister

No, just to say that schools do a lot, but parents mean so much more. My sister has hearing problems, she is deaf in one ear and can't hear fully with the other one either. It is vrey different from being completely deaf, but it is a serious problem.

We exposed her to lots of language when she was young, plus she has a stubborn character so she always knew how to get on the front row . We only discovered about how bad the situation was when she was five years old. We went to some special schools with her, and found that other pupils of her age with the same issues where hardly talking at all, but she was chattering all the time. So she went to a regular school, which was some of an issue, but she's getting there. And I know this is mostly because of her own hard work and because of the enormous support from my parents. And because I always gave her books to read .

She too has a really poor grammar and bad writing skills. But I'm just so proud of her! She just signed up for a course of lip reading, which will do her a lot of good I think.

Good luck with your step daughter Nati! And Mekiakoo, your parents may have helped you a lot, but you can be proud of yourself too, you've achieved a lot.

Nati05

Huh, I've never thought about that! That's very interesting about the different experiences in deaf schools and mainstream schools. I wonder if changing to a mainstream school would help her go a little farther. Going to a non-deaf school, how did you (and Eline, your sister) communicate with your teachers and peers? What was done to aid your experience? Did your family have to ensure things were setup to facilitate your education, or did the school take care of making sure you had all the assistance you needed? Sorry if I'm asking you a billion questions, but I really am intrigued about this mainstream school thing..!

mekiakoo

I had an ASL interpreter for my mainstream classes. Worked out just fine. The teacher would talk and the interpreter will just interpret what s/he says and then voice for me if I sign a question or whatever. I was also provided with a note-taker because it is difficult for me (and most deaf people) to be able to watch an interpreter and take notes- we'll have to take our eyes away from the interpreter in order to write and we end up missing some information that was said while we were writing. Does this make sense?

I'm not quite sure if the laws are different for your FI's daughter, but here the schools are responsible for providing every student with equal education opportunity. The schools are REQUIRED to provide services for their students, especially if they're on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan)- do you know what this is? At the same time my parents were my biggest advocates- they taught me how to fight for my rights, what my rights were, what I needed to do in order to advocate for myself. Sometimes schools don't quite understand exactly what a student needs- it is good for the parents to be able to voice their concerns and expectations for the school.

I believe that a deaf person can learn a lot by being mainstreamed but at the same time it can be very awkward being around people who aren't able to sign nor communicate fluently with the deaf person. Sometimes it feels like the interpreter is your only friend. It works well if the deaf person is confident and motivated to learn. I think most "hearing" schools are more challenging for deaf students especially since everything will be taught in English (or in your FI's daughter's case, Spanish). The only ASL exposure deaf students are able to get will be through the interpreters and often interpreters aren't fluent in ASL like deaf people are. And for other peers- it often depends on if other peers are willing to learn how to sign. I communicate with people who don't sign by writing things down or using gestures or even using an interpreter. I can read llips and I can mouth any words except actually talking out loud. It can get lonely in this type of environment.

I wonder if your FI's daughter has the option of taking some mainstreamed classes while taking some classes at her current school??

Keep the questions coming, I'll be happy to answer them!