Showers Poll

amellis2

Did/Is someone throw(ing) you a shower? Do you think as a DW bride, we give up "traditional" festivities such as wedding showers, bachelorette, etc?My sister recently said that since we have pretty much decided on a DW (nothing is booked yet, we are still looking) that she wouldn't throw us a shower.  I know that showers are nice gestures, and not to be expected, but is this weird? 

Miami_Bride909

I had a shower thrown for me, and a bachelorette party. You don't have to give up anything just because you are a DW bride. If you want these things then I would express your interest to a close friend or family member.

carrieoz_76

I actually really want the shower so I can celebrate with all my friends, *especially* the ones who can't come to the wedding. If I don't have a bparty I'll be less upset (we'll be partying a lot on Maui with our friends anyways), but I'd still like one. My local BM offered to help organize, as did another local friend who can't come to the wedding. I don't think you give this stuff up when you do a DW, but I do think that it's possible that the presents we get from guests who do attend will be less spendy than if the wedding was local.

chosen175

I was told that I wasn't getting a shower because we were only inviting immediate family to the DW and there wouldn't be enough people to make it a fun shower. I later found out that the person didn't consider our DW to be a "real wedding" so she didn't want to throw one. *shrug* Now that we've moved the wedding back home, I'm wondering if I've "earned" one. lol I could care less about the gifts, but I kind of see a shower as a rite of passage, and a way for the families to give their blessing on my decision to marry. A few people who found out I wasn't having a shower (and the reason why) thought that it was total B.S. and said if I wanted, they would host one for me. I guess everyone has a different opinion on the subject.

SandalGirl

My aunt said right away she wanted to throw me a shower, and my sisters will be helping her. I didn`t have to ask, which is nice A lot of my friends can`t make it to mexico, but can come celebrate at the shower

amellis2

I thought the same thing, that we don't relinquish rights to have the same things that local brides get.  I think I would be kind of bummed if someone didn't at least offer.  My BGF is a flight attendant and said he would "fly [me] and a few others to somewhere fabulous for a shower."  It's not about gifts; we don't need much more stuff - an entertainment stand, maybe, but my friend IKEA can handle that   I think I feel somewhat the same way that Chosen175 feels - it is sort of a rite of passage in my social circle.  I feel like my sister (who is the only other local friend that I have in Tampa - everyone else is all over America) doesn't consider my wedding "real" because it's not in a church.  Or in Florida.  Or in our hometown, lol.  

FutureMrs.McC

I think this is total B.S.  I had a shower and bachlorette party.  Do you have a girl friend who would throw the party for you?  I believe everyone expected me to have a shower and didn't think it to be weird since I'm having a DW.  I honestly think people would have thought it strange if I didn't have one.  To brag a little on my friends and family.  I had five people fly into town for my parties - it was amazing!  I didn't expect any of them to be able to come.

amellis2

FutureMrsMcC - Can I have some of your friends and family? ;)I have one friend over here, but since I moved in with FI a few months ago, she hasn't said much to me.  I think she thinks that I will end up like my sis - she REFUSED to do anything without my BIL while they were engaged and dating.  They had to do everything together.  I, on the other hand, can manage to go out to lunch with friends once in a while without suffering too much separation anxiety. Honestly, I don't know if anyone else would offer, but so far my sister has made her feelings known.

Soon2bMrsNaylor

FI's aunt is throwing a shower for me. She offered as soon as she found out we were engaged. The girls in my family are putting together some sort of bachelorette party. I don't think that as DW brides we should have to give up anything. We're still getting married, we're just doing it a little differently.

CNN in 2010

My moh was pushing me to have a bridal shower when I didn't want one, but now it's seems like it would be fun... especially because so many people won't be attending but it would still be nice to spend time with them before the wedding.  I agree with pp, express your interests in having a bridal shower if you want one.

MzelleRicaine

I mostly doubt we'll be having a shower, but mostly because it's not a part of French culture and as for the American side of things, meh, it'd be another thing to organize and like you Amellis everyone's pretty spread out all over the US! I defo plan on having at least one Bparty, and my girls both know it and wouldn't let me escape it even if I didn't want it But what the (expletive) is the bee in everyone's bonnet about DWs not being "real"? I just. don't. get it. Is it a question of being culturally "closed" and unopen to different concepts? Is it because of their idea of what they want(ed) their wedding to be like? (and so everyone's wedding should be like that?) Is it a passive-agressive form of displaying their jealousy or frustration?Bah!*m*

hed970s

Yeah, I totally think of it as a 'rite of passage' - I had two bridal showers, a b party, and still have a personal shower next weekend. I think it's BS to not get a shower just because it's a DW!

chosen175

Well, in my case, the reason our wedding isn't "real" is because we're Catholic and not getting married inside a church. And in the Catholic religion, your marriage isn't recognized by the church unless it takes place INSIDE the chruch.... which sort of defeats the "Where 2 or more are gathered in my name, I am there" thing in the Bible. And I know we could have our marriage blessed/recognized later on, but you have to pay an arm and a leg to take a class, pay the pastor, pay the church, etc and I just don't have $800 to give to satisfy my family, when our marriage is LEGAL everywhere but the church. My sisters (there are 5 girls all together) are going to throw me a modified b-party, since I don't really drink and hate crowded places. They're renting out this gorgeous hotel suite, and we're having an old fashioned pj party, staying up all night watching the movies we loved as kids, ordering room service, etc. So I'm not TOTALLY missing out. I think our generation is much more accepting of "non-traditional" weddings than our parents' generation is.

alisonpilgrim610

My mom & all of my girls threw me a shower. I am also having a bachelorette party. I just don't understand people who think just b/c it's a DW that it's not a "real wedding" and it doesn't deserve all the normal traditons of a local wedding!? WTF is up with that?