Calling all knotties that have being engage for over a year/ ~VENT~

Orchid2011

Hi ladies, I apologize if this gets long but I'm so mad and I know that this is the only place where I can find wonderful brides/brides to be that will understand. Well to start it off you all know that is been about 6 months since we got engage and we still have 1 1/2 to go right. Well I decided that when I had some free time I would start doing wedding related stuff (DIY) just so I can get an idea of how I want things and so I can have it ready so when the time comes all I have to do is upload it and print it somewhere, plus it will help me out alot having a mock up since I'm going nursing school and that takes so much time away from me. When did you ladies start buying and making DIY? Yesterday I was a little stress with school so to take my mind off of it I started working on my welcome letter, STD magnets, and the brochure (which by the way turned out beautiful, can't wait to post pictures). Anyways I was so excited and couldn't wait to go home and show FI, when I got home and we're getting ready for bed I show him what I've done and he says "here you go again with wedding stuff" that really hurt me. So I asked why do you say that and he says "well I'm not sure if I want to have the wedding in PC or just a DW in general". So I'm like WHAT! Why? and he starts going off that he's dad might not be able to make it  because his lisence and birth certificate have different date of birth and he won't be able to take out a passport or he'll have problems or something like that. Then on top of that because he's mom is scare of flying. Well first of all when I first meet them his mom would go to PR like two times in a year with her boyfriend (and she's afraid of flying?!) Is ok for her to go to PR on vacation with her boyfriend but she can't make it to her son's wedding? Can anyone tell me what's wrong with that picture? I can understand about FFIL because they're really close and he would like to have him there but I still want to have a DW. I think that if we change the location to PR everyone will be happy but I don't want to do it in PR. I'm not sure of prices but I think it will be more expensive and we always go to PR on vacation. PC is cheaper and it will be the first time for mostly everyone. So it will be better and well I want to do it in PC. Plus their daughter is getting marry 6 months before us and they're helping her so I'm pretty sure they won't be helping us, which I don't care, but if I'm paying for my wedding why should I worry about anyone else?Am I being selfish? Please give me your advise, I'm so mad/stress because of this.Tequila shots and a Margaritas for all you wonderful ladies who read this. I could use that right now!TIA

Orchid2011

OMG this is really long...... Sorry Ladies!

autzen1024

first of all, hang in there :)Concerning ffil getting a passport, hello he has a YEAR and a HALF to figure everything out!! I would sit down with fi and really get I the bottom of the real issues. It almost sounds like he is maybe get a guilt trip from someone else and hasn't communicated it to you. IMO doing a dw is about celebrating with friends and family for an extended time somewhere everyone will enjoy, but especially the bride and groom. Have you talked to fi about budget whose helping, etc? We have a year and seven and a half months to go and budget hasn't come up once. My fi doesn't want to talk any WR until we get back from our trip in November and have a solid yes on the resort. I know it can be frustrating. But you don't want to loose your line of communication with your fi!!!! Try to get down to the bottom as to why fi suggested PR. It could be family pressure, which is never easy to deal with. GL and I apologize for typos I'm on my iPhone.

t1nkfan

I agree with pp    FFIL has a year and a half to get his passport...  if his birth certificate is a delayed bc date, he should just apply early so the passport office has time to properly look into his birth status and go through the checks.  There is plenty of time, but you should tell him to start early anyway.  You should also tell him that regardless of where you go - he should just get a passport anyway because it's a good thing to have and the world is moving towards using some sort of federal ID as identification at some point anyway. Second, you should find a calm and neutral time to talk to FI about locations.  Set some ground rules for when you will have a decision on a destination and calmly explain that you want to go somewhere else beside PR so that your wedding is special and not just another vaca.  I'm sure you can gently coax out of him why he's hesitant.In the long run, you both need to be happy with your destination choice and I'm sure you will work it out.  But no, you're not selfish to have your own opinions too.  You're the bride and you should have as much say as the groom   Where ever you choose - just remember that some people will come and some people won't and there is never a way to please everyone.  Even if you go with PR in the end, someone isn't going to be happy with something...  Make sure that you and the groom are good with it and then everyone else can take it or leave it.BTW - I think the location is the hardest part so it will get easier after you get that decided on.

drm6285

All pp gave good advice, so I'm just sending some vibes your way!!!  Tell FI you have to stick with PC, because if not, we won't be location twins anymore Seriously though, GL, just remember it's about you and FI.  Don't worry about pleasing other ppl bc someone will always be unhappy no matter how hard you try.

MsSunshine

I agree with the ladies. Definitely talk to him and see what else is bothering him. The 1 1/2 years is enough time for FFIL to get his passport issue taken care of. As for FMIL, don't worry about her. If she can fly to PR then she can fly to DR. Everything will work out :-)