is this worth a fight?

sweetestlife28

this may be my bridezilla moment.. we are traveling to key west, fl. for our wedding. my mom is coming around to the idea but not 100% sold... we are inviting about 50 people - immediate family and close friends.  i love the guest list except for my moms long lost aunt and cousin that my mom  feels the need to invite - she sees them maybe once a year. i haven't seen them in ages.i feel like this isn't the time or place for relatives i dont feel close to.  the catch is that they live in florida... and my mom is paying for a good chunk of the wedding. do i just shut up and let it go? i think you guys will say yes, let it go... but the idea drives me crazy!  

ericandcindy

I would actually think the opposite.  It's hard when parents are paying and they feel inclined to invite whoever they choose.  If it were me I would say no way.  You're not close to them and by inviting them it could open up a whole new can of worms with family that you may be a bit closer to.  And just because the wedding is in FL doesn't mean that they should be expected to come.  I'm also a biotch when it comes to our families because our parents always throw a guilt trip with family even though they're both huge.  GL

sjedwards0423

I have been going through the exact same stuff with my mother! We are having our wedding in Negril, Jamaica and I only want to invite close family and friends...not her 4th cousin! But, there are some people that she has argued with me over and I have just learned to cope with the idea and let it go. My parents are paying for a majority of the wedding, so I have realized that they have a right to have SOME things their way. Think of it this way, you will have 50 other people that you will be happy they are there and you can just spend time with them rather than those your mother invites.

FutureMrs.McC

Sorry, in my opinion if Mom is paying she gets to have a some say in the guest list.  I don't think she's being unreasonable asking to invite 2 people.  And I don't think they are "long lost" if she's them once a year.  I don't see any of my family members more than that.  My father insisted I invite several family members he hasn't seen in over 20 years and I've never met.  I decided it wasn't worth the fight and none of them are coming anyway.  GL in your planning!   

AprilJT

I guess my question is, why does it drive you this crazy?  It is your wedding and if you don't want them there then that is your choice.  That being said, is it something that you are just going to fight with your mom about and would it be easier to let it go.  Afterall how much will you actually see them?  Take some time and think about it and if you come to the decision that you really DON'T want them there then talk to you mom about it.  Maybe your mom just feels that she needs to invite them because they are so close to where you are getting married and doesn't want them to be upset. 

*tinkertoy*

Maybe they will bring you a great gift!

tiffany8610

I think I'm with Cindy on this one. She brought up a very good point. How are the relatives that you are closer with going to feel if the Florida relatives get invited and they didn't.  It's tricky though. I'm having the same discussions with my Mom.   Maybe if you bring up Cindy's point she will understand.   Good luck!

sweetestlife28

ugh -i agree w/ all of you guys thats why this is so hard! i think in the end i am going to let it go without a fight.  my mom is *trying* to be good about letting me hold whatever type of wedding i want... so i suppose i can suck it up and enjoy everyones company. and true that...maybe they will bring a great gift!! lol!

suannoch

One other thought to chime in with - remember to pick your battles. I understand (and agree) about it driving you crazy and can definitely cause other issues down the line. But if you let mom have this one thing, she made give on others that are just as or more important to you. Good luck!