newly engaged...needs some help deciding

hols0326

hello everyone! i just got engaged over the weekend, and for a while before FI and i always talked about having a destination wedding. now that the moment has come, i'm having a hard time making up my mind between destination and local. we would like a smaller wedding, and something that truely focuses on us as a couple (i really hate all the 'this is my day' stuff). i know the decision is ultimately ours, but i wanted to know how you came to the decision to go away. i know there are several people we wouldn't want to invite that we'd have to, and that we want to keep it simple. but there are also people i really want there that i know wouldn't be able to afford it. anyway...any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks!

LadyBird9

We started planning our wedding based on what we thought other people wanted us to do... and we were miserable. Once we decided that we needed to make wedding decisions based on what WE wanted... we decided to cancel everything and have a DW. It was the best decision we made, and our wedding was fabulous. There were several people who weren't there and we missed them... but overall the wedding was exactly what we wanted. It is all up to you and your FI... and you can always have a party when you get back to celebrate with the people who can't make it to the DW! HTH!

brian&shelli

Hi, congrats, and welcome!!! We chose a Destination Wedding due to the fact that all of FI's family and close friends live in Minnesota, while all of my family live mostly in Hawaii, and a few in California. We chose a Cruise because we wanted to get married on a beach, but we also wanted to make a vacation out of it for all who's traveling to share our day with us. We get 5 days and 4 nights with everyone on an amazing Cruise, and honestly, we locked in at such a great rate, we HAD to book!! The flights from Minnesota to California was more expensive than the Cruise for those that are flying out! That is how awesome of a deal we got! We went into this knowing that we weren't going to please everyone and some people will end up getting their feelings hurt or mad at us, but this day is truly all about us as a couple. We're inviting them to share our day with us and we are truly blessed to have everyone that has booked their cabins thus far share in our special day!!! So, whatever your decision is, just know that you can't please everyone! Do what YOU want to do because it's YOUR wedding, and you don't want to look back on your day with any regrets whatsoever! HTH!!!

SimplyMistaken

I also started planning a "traditional" wedding and was getting sad because it was just not what I wanted.  Ultimately Mom and Dad both sat me down saying I needed to do what would make US happy..and so we went this route.  There will always be the negative nellys about it..but that is their problem, NOT yours! I did make sure to ask specifically those I wanted there if they would come if we did this and they all said yes..here we are 8 months to go and more than HALF of those are now not able to go, potentially including his parents, but that is a whole other drama.    As I said before, it's about what YOU want.  My FI reminds me all the time that the only thing that matters is that HE is there, I am there, and the person that marries us is there! 

gabi829

For me, it was hard to watch one of my friends having a horrible time planning her wedding.  Her mother ran the whole show.  Instead of getting to spend time at her wedding celebrating with close friends, she and her now husband had to go entertain everybody in the room, many of whom they didn't even know.  Fi and I wanted something fun and adventurous, so we chose a wedding cruise with a ceremony/brunch reception off the boat in Key West.  We know that not everybody can make it, but it's still possible to celebrate with others when you get home with something informal.