~Sarlah~

Bigwuhead

I wanted to respond to two of your posts...1. Your shower.  My girls asked me the same thing.  Don't stress, and don't feel weird.  I just told them, well we need this and this and I want this.  2. As for your and FI and the house...yeah, welcome to my world.  I bought my house 6 months after we met and once he moved in he was like well what about my stuff...i told him he could hang it in the shed or the attic.  It's total frat house crap.  I'm not hanging a star wars poster in the living room SORRY.  Plus i'm like you..i shut down, so yeah, it makes things interesting.  I try to be more open to comprimise, and he just says whatever you want more now which is more irrataing and annoying.  Hang in there.

SimplyMistaken

Sarlah, I also sympathize..maybe some compromise?  I asked my FI what rooms were most important to him and then gave him half the house.  He has the whole finished basement, the game room (a bedroom converted into a computer room with action figures everywhere-yes, I am marrying a character out of the 40 year olf virgin) and a "drawing room" -another small converted bedroom (although in recent years I have taken this over too). I like it because I can shut those doors when company comes over.   I have the living room, kitchen and bedroom not to mention my home office.  I tried to stay away from doilies and girlie things in those rooms-keeping him in consideration since those are the "general" areas.  I also have his video games and consoles in the living room-that was another compromise..maybe something like this would work for you guys?  Give him some space that is just his own??

sarlah

Thanks Cristina! It just feels so weird for the people who are throwing my shower to also get me a gift... whatever though! I know they are doing it all because they love me. FI and I definitely have a long road ahead of us with the house stuff... I think we need to just take some time off from it, decompress, and then actually talk about things before we just get all mad. Unfortunately that is easier said than done! haha. But we'll get through it, and I'm sure some day we will laugh about arguing over nightstands, lamps, and paint colors.

sarlah

Sorry Jamie, I didn't even see your post until just now??Not ignoring your advice! :)I have definitely thought about the whole, giving him his own space, thing. The problem is we bought a 1400 sq. ft. condo with 2b/2b. There isn't really a certain space I can "give" him. It's not even that either, he has good taste, it's just that I don't want to live in his house. I don't know what kind of solution we are going to come up with, but hopefully it is something we are both really happy with. We did both agree that we need to finish projects that are already started, before we start more projects like decorating. The unfinished projects looming over our heads are stressing both of us out. Maybe after we get some of those finished we will be able to see things more clearly.Thanks for your advice I am so thankful I have you girls to turn to in times like these.

SimplyMistaken

I hear you, that is tough.  Someone on here told me once that during wedding planning or house repairs, you MUST take one day a week for yourselves.  NO talk of weddings, NO talk of repairs or furnishing, etc.  Can you do that?  BAN any talk or planning one day a week? 

sarlah

Hahaha... but then what would we talk about?? lol. I hear what you're saying, I think we could do that, and I know we should be doing that. That is something I will bring up, I'm sure he will be more than fine with that idea.