Destination Weddings Discussions

AHR opinions

So yesterday I had a mini freak out thinking about our original plan to open our house up to all of our friends, coworkers and their kids for our bbq AHR in september. We have put a lot of hard work and love into updating our house and it isn't baby proof (my neices always manage to spill, break or hurt themselves when they come over). Also, our house isn't that big and we only have one bathroom so we'd have to rent a port-a-potty (ew, right?)  So anyway, i'm now considering renting this log cabin at a lake with a jungle gym outside for the kids. It comes with 100 chairs and tables and a big kitchen. I think it's worth it to save me the stress of worrying about our house, even though it's more money we're putting out. 

So the questions I have are: 
-What are you doing for your AHR? Casual, formal? Lunch, Dinner? What do you think guests prefer, lunch or dinner? We want to save on costs which makes me think we should do lunch, but FI wants everyone to drink and I'd like to dance, which makes me think dinner. Also, if we rent it in september is $550 for the day, if we wait til october first we can rent it for 
4 hours for just $140. (plus a $250 liquor serving fee)

-Is waiting til Oct. 1 too long after the wedding? Our wedding is Aug 20 and we get back from our honeymoon around sep. 1. 

- 4 hours is enough time, right? 

-Last question: we're about to mail out our formal Hawaii invitations, should we include a little card with a website and info about our AHR for the guests who we know can't make the DW, or just wait til it's closer to mention it?
(k, sorry this was longer than expected!)

Re: AHR opinions

  • I'm not having an AHR but I think the cabin is a great idea.  I'm not sure I would want to host something like that at my house either.  And I don't think Oct 1 is too long to wait. 

    So I'm not really helpful. 
  • Our AHR is about a month after we get back, so I definitely dont think that waiting until October 1st is too long. I do think that you should do dinner if you want dancing and drinks. Our ahr is pretty informal as well, but all of them are different so you have nothing to worry about.
  • When my FI and I were originally thinking about an AHR we were wanting to save money and thought we'd host it at our house and just have it catered (it was our reception too and didn't want to deal with all the work and cleanup). When checking into pricing for tent, chairs, tables, port o potties, dj, lights etc. We decided NOT to have it at our home. We opted to have a traditional reception at a banquet hall. Our wedding date is in September and we're having our AHR in early October.

    So to answer your questions.....I think people with families would prefer a late lunch early dinner so the kids aren't out late and off their typical schedule. If you really want to do a dinner four hours is plenty. I love the idea of the cabin. And if you can hold out till October - why not save the money. I say as long as you have it within a month or two of your actual wedding you're totally fine. Besides it's your wedding and you should do what you want.....when it's convenient for you and your new hubby! Good luck....let's us all know what you decide.


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  • Love the cabin. Our AHR is 2 months after our wedding and I am glad it is so I can wait till the wedding is over to start planning it. We rented a cheap hall and are having family bring stuff for a taco bar. I put on my invites for the wedding there will be a reception to follow in WA for people who cant make it to the wedding.  And then once we get back from the wedding we are sending out our invites with a wedding picture for the AHR
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  • We are renting out a ballroom at a Hilton and having a formal reception. 
    I think people tend to prefer dinner, but I think PP is correct if you have a ton of children, lunch may be better.  Although if it's on a sat, then dinner will be great.
    I would def wait until Oct.  There is no reason to waste money when you could put that money towards your guests anyways in different areas.
    4 hours should be enough time, but I'm sure you could always pay extra for some extra time.
    Personally, I would sent the AHR invite with the DW invite to save money.  Postage is so much now, it's just not worth it.  Although I do like Tiff's idea of sending out a pic of the wedding with it.  I plan to do this for my thank you postcards though.
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