Thought this was tacky thought I would share

akhunter1

So one of my girlfriends is very traditional she is having a wedding in September and it is more than extravagent ($100K +) she has mentioned now several times that he dad is not going to be able to retire b/c of the wedding and how over budget it is.

Anways that is really just a side note. FI and I met up with her Friday night to see her new house.  I brought a gift from her registry $25.00 nothing expensive.  She didn't even open it or say thank you.  Rude but then proceeded to tell me that at her bridal shower in 2 weeks she didn't intend to open any gifts.  Is that not the point of a shower? I personally think it would be very rude not to open shower gifts at the shower.  

Just venting she is a good friend but sometimes she drives me CRAZY!

CraziStarr

Holy crap! Can you imagine having a $100k budget --- !? How about you just give me the $100k and I pay off a large chunk of the mortgage. Don't you just feel awful for the Dad? I mean, it's one thing if you have that sort of disposable income - but postponing his retirement? Priorities people. Ha --- ok, off the side note.

I would be way confused if I went to a shower and the gifts weren't opened. Maybe she can pass all her presents around, and everyone can shake them and guess what's inside

JenJune3

Oh wow... I think she would drive me crazy too! I think some people don't like to open gifts because it is a little uncomfortable! Not saying I agree with her at all, I'm just guessing maybe that's why? But on another note.... $100k for a wedding! WOW! I want to see pictures of this thing!

FutureMrs.McC

Personally, I HATE the gift opening portion of showers.  So boring!  I don't need some sort of validation by the bride ooohing and awing over the gift I picked off of her registry.  Really, she picked it - why should she act surprised?  I've never been to a shower where gifts weren't opened but would much prefer it.

Of course, it's rude she didn't say thank you but I have no problem with her not opening it in front of you.  I always feel a little awkward in this situation. 

CNN in 2010

I think it's a personal choice if you open your gifts at your shower.  Some people do some people don't.  Iit's not rude if you don't open your gifts at the shower but people like to see your expression when viewing their gift and they like hearing thank you... so it makes it worth it to open your gifts infront on your guests.
Personally I would but it's not mandatory.

ms.n.0906

First, I did indeed open the presents at my shower.  It was kinda fun.  That being said, I agree that as a guest, that is a pretty boring part.  I'm very happy for any of my friends getting married that they are receiving all these lovely gifts, but I do not have to see you actually open them.  However, I do understand and respect that that is the tradition.  So, I guess IMO, it does not matter if someone opens the gifts at their shower or not.  I would definitely not be offended.

Traci

Wow, she is rude and sounds like she likes to brag a little too much. 

SimplyMistaken

A friend of mine did see through gifts, requested no wrapping.  I loved that idea.  I personally HATE opening gifts, HATE HATE HATE it.  I feel so very uncomfortable.  I also hate watching it.  So, I would have NO issue with that.  As long as I got a thank you, to each her own..

But the money part, is she joking..does she feel like she can do that with you, maybe she does not realize she is affecting you?  Just a thought..

HappyMel

I kinda think it's rude to open presents in front of people, so I agree with her there...

But dang a 100k wedding?! how do you go over budget on something like that?!  And maybe if her dad won't be able to retire b/c of it, she should rethink it...

akhunter1

I guess this is just the first wedding most of us in her wedding are going to be apart of and it was just my understanding that opening gifts was how it was done.  She also doesn't want to have any games, so I am not sure what she intends on doing at this bridal shower. 

FutureMrs.McC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_thought-this-tacky-thought-would-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:4e681592-6327-4460-a08c-4bbe8ffc5edfPost:84011bf6-c26e-4b8a-97f9-74b093a9fba7">Re: Thought this was tacky thought I would share</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess this is just the first wedding most of us in her wedding are going to be apart of and it was just my understanding that opening gifts was how it was done.  She also doesn't want to have any games, so I am not sure what she intends on doing at this bridal shower. 
Posted by akhunter1[/QUOTE]

It is the way it's typically done but I think most people DREAD bridal showers.  Silly games and watching someone open gifts for 2 hours is not fun!  Some older guests might be a little put off that she didn't open the gifts but, as long as, she is gracious and sends TY notes I see no problem with it.  As to what she'll do at the bridal shower.  The same as any other party!  When my friends get together, we don't play games and open gifts.  We eat, drink and socialize. 

SimplyMistaken

Totally agree, I was not going to have a shower because I HATED the idea of gift opening and games..HATED it..and guess what? My shower was gift opening and games and family drama.  Every reason I did not want one!  I guess I am just different however, I wanted none of the "usual".  I would have been super thrilled with just a dinner together..but then I also feel like a shower is just another way to get gifts..eck..sorry, dropping all my "I wish I had stuck to my guns and not had one" drama on another thread..don't mean to "threadjack!".

nubiannqween

A 100k wedding?!..,wow. Lucky her. Personally, I wouldn't let my father go into debt for a wedding or not let him retire! That is wrong. Would it really hurt her to dial it down a notch... as to not to put her father in debt?  Most likely, not.  No offense, but she sounds kind of selfish.

Opening gifts...well, like everyone else says, its tradition and I think its expected for the most part. But personally, I wouldn't care if they weren't opened. Just be sure to send me my thank you note.  I don't like sitting there waiting for your gift to be picked to be opened...sometimes its a very long wait. I went to a shower once where it seriously took 1 1/2 hours to open all the gifts...it was torture, I wanted to sneak out! LOL

Oh yea...and she was wrong for not saying "thank you" to you for the gift you brought her.

akhunter1

I couldn't imagine putting my parents into debt either.  I guess we grew up differently b/c I was raised knowning the value of money.  My parents were generous enough to pay for the wedding, and I am grateful for that.  

And I do not take offense to the fact that she is self absorbed. But when its not about money she and I get along great.

Kahtie41

I've never been to a shower where they didn't open the gifts, but I agree that it's awkward and boring, so if the shower had more of an "open house" kind of feel I doubt I would miss it.  As for the games, I have a friend who HATES the games and we didn't do any at her shower.  It was just fine without them.

Also, I can handle opening the gifts, but DEAR LORD don't pass them!  I can see your new bathroom towels from here thankyouverymuch.  I once went to a baby shower for twins where everything was passed.  That shower was five hours long!

As for this chick's budget... I feel really bad for her dad AND her future husband!