Possible slight change in plans

rmontpas

So my FI and I are planning to elope to Maui and get married on February 7th which is his Grandmother's 99th Birthday.  We have not told anyone in our families that we are planning to get married while in Hawaii.  On Christmas day he was talking to his aunt and she said she is thinking she might take his Grandmother to Hawaii for her Birthday.
I would love to have them there but we purposely did not tell our families because most of them could not afford to come and we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  So now I think that if they come I will miss my family not being there more.
Does that make sense?

BMcLeodTeam

Would anyone in your family be able to afford to go? 

rmontpas

Unfortunately no.

rmontpas

My oldest daughter has 3 kids 5 and under.  My second is due to have her 2nd at the end of February and My so is a typical 18 year old and does not want to go anywhere with the parents.  My mom is on a small pension and doesn't have anything extra plus she is allergic to the sun and would hate Hawaii!

msuprincess04

You could still elope and not have them there. Yes, they will be there to celebrate, but so will your family when you get home. The actually ceremony will be kept between you two and that is very special.

BMcLeodTeam

I agree with msu, I think I would still elope and then just celebrate with family

jtoly

Rhonda, I went through this almost exact same thing. Everyone's knows why my family can't go which is why they dont know. But FIs parents want to go to Hawaii at some point in their life but FI knew how upsetting it would be for me if his parents could go but mine couldn't. That's why we decided to keep everything a secret. However, if his family would be there at the same time what would you do? Let them join you or do it as planned secretly but celebrate with them after?? Sorry for the hard decision you have to make. PS I got your card today!

rmontpas

I think I would prefer to still elope but my FI is very close to his Aunt and Grandmother, they pretty much raised him.  His mother died when he was 8 after a long illness.
I think I may have to give in on this point because I think even though he hasn't come out and said it he is very excited for them to come.  He does alot for me I should suck it up and make him happy!

jtoly

That's nice Rhonda. I think it's meant to be. What are the odds of them making last minute plans to go to Hawaii at the same time as you. Maybe still keep it a surprise until you get there!

kimmykupcakes

It sounds like the two of you need to talk and figure this out together. I can see both sides. I would stick with my original plan and then celebrate with them afterwards. But, that's because I know D would also want to stick with the original plan. Good luck!

Tanq&Tonic

Definitely have a chat with him and figure out what works best for you both.  I like the compromise idea of having the ceremony just the two of you, and maybe get together with Grandma & Aunt for dinner & break the news there.  And of course party with everyone once you're home.

Lindz619

In Response to <a href="http://destination.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_possible-slight-change-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:4f0c8728-22b5-4b3b-8274-3de8a17e544fPost:3b6500a5-de7e-42b7-8a87-6a60cd398b67">Re: Possible slight change in plans</a>:
[QUOTE]You could still elope and not have them there. Yes, they will be there to celebrate, but so will your family when you get home. The actually ceremony will be kept between you two and that is very special.
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE]

perfect :)

rmontpas

Thanks to everyone for listening and for all the suggestions!  I really appreciate the advice.