Let's talk about gift registries...

loramarie03

FI and I have decided that we don't want gifts. There are many reasons behind this but the main reasons are that we are already asking people to come to Jamaica and that is more than enough of a gift. Plus we have lived together for several years and we live in Brooklyn, so we really don't have the space for anything. 

I know that it's been discussed before and people have said that even if you don't want to gifts, you should just register. But, I don't want people to feel obligated to buy gifts (even if we say, we don't want gifts and include links to registries, I feel like people will think that we are just saying we don't want gifts but we really do because we've provided these links). 

What are your thoughts? Are you guys registering, and why? Do you think we should register? And any ideas on how to communicate that?

elle+vee

I'm curious to see what everyone says.  I'm in the same boat, minus the already having lived together part.  I feel like registering communicates that you are expecting gifts, but I'm totally new to this wedding stuff so I may have the wrong idea. 

niknik15

I have a small registry on amazon.com and bed, bath and beyond. People are going to get you stuff whether you want it or not. Especially the older people in your family. And you would rather have the things that you really want than a bunch of mismatched dish towels etc. I think the number of items on your registry really show people that you are serious about not wanting gifts. I think I have about 15 items on each registry (so 30 in all).

saric83

I totally agree with you that it makes people think you want gifts!  There's anything wrong with wanting gifts and having a registry, but it definitely sends mixed messages to really honestly not want gifts but then to make a registry.

I work for a large retail company in our corporate HQ, and as a part of my job (long story short), I set up a registry of about five items as a test with a different name/date/etc, but it was still linked to my email address.  So some people found it.  And we heard some really honest (negative) opinions about it since we told everyone we didn't want gifts.  Once I explained, people completely got it though. 

We did end up geting two actual gifts, but we both thought they were so thoughtful and lovely.  I totally get the registry thing in general, but as a way to make sure people don't get you something you don't want seems really bizarre to me.  It's not like we register for our birthdays or Christmas, and the people who want to get us gifts always manage to do a good job without a list. : )

BMcLeodTeam

See that Christmas concept depends on the family lol Most of the people in my family admit that they have no idea what to write so we as a family exchange lists of things we'd like for Christmas each year... they are longer lists so we never know what we're getting, but its no different than a Christmas registry lol 

WinstonsGirl

We've done a small registry too, towels, linen, that's about it, but said we don't want gifts.  We mentioned that we would prefer to not receive gifts, but we understood that some people do feel obligated to send one, so hence the small registry.  It was mostly in mind for older relatives who feel it is expected with an invitatiion and we didn't want them to have no idea about what we might like.  However, we just started receiving RSVP's, and one came with a cheque, so so much for not sending anything.  

breaness

We registered anyway. For ridiculous things that we didn't need but would have been really nice upgrades. A $600 calphalon cookware set A $400 kitchen aid mixer Etc. All of the big ticket items on our registry were purchased, and what wasn't we got gift cards for and bought ourselves. We didn't register for anything just for the sake of registering but he did get a lot of really nice "upgrades" to stuff we already had. FWIW, before we got married I bought a brand new Martha Stewart cookware set. I really didn't need the calphalon one but I'm so glad we have it. It's really really great and my mom now has the Martha stewart one which was a huge upgrade from her20 year old set.

BMcLeodTeam

Awww, that's sweet you were able to pass that on to your Mom to upgrade hers Brea, I'm sure she loved that lol

loramarie03

Thanks for the feedback! One of the things we were thinking is to register and not advertise it on our website or anywhere, so if people really are trying to get us a gift, they will either ask about it or find it on their own. I have to talk to it with FI but it's great to hear everyone else's experiences.