Are we doing too much?

JamieG12

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and am excited about all the helpful informaiton here..  We are getting married in November 2013 in Costa Rica. We are trying to decide what to pay for and the budget is getting a little steep. We have agreed to pay for airfare for a couple of very close friends we want present and cannot otherwise afford to come.  We have a large villa where they can stay as well that has separate entraces so everyone will have privacy.  We are getting the villa regardless so it's not like it's an added expense for their accomodations.

The wedding is happening on Thursday and we are looking at the following events to pay for:

1. Tuesday - welcome cocktail party at our villa
2. Wednesday - some type of activity - maybe horseback riding or girls/guys activities - spa for the ladies and something for the guys.
3. Wednesday night - dinner the night before the wedding
4. Thursday - wedding reception/dinner
5. Friday - goodbye dinner for those who stay the day after the wedding

This basically allows for everyone to come 4 nights and have to only worry about breakfast and lunch and day time activities if they want to do more than lay at the beach.

We know we are asking a lot for people to travel to Costa Rica, it's expensive and a bit of a distance to travel from Chicago.  We also have been before and want to share what we can with everyone.

Are we crazy for doing all this? I want to do what we can and not impose on people but I'm trying not to break the bank either.

Thanks!

[Deleted User]

Personally - I think that is going to be a lot of $$. How many guests are you planning on? Is your resort all inclusive?

For us we are planning a welcome cocktail party, the wedding ceremony/reception (including transportation for the guests to/from their hotels/the site and full open bar) and possibly a brunch of something the day after. We are planning on having various activities but as of right now we don't plan to pay for other folks. It will be a "join us if you'd like to" kind of thing. We are also looking for deals on different options to help folks save money but we aren't personally footing the airfare/hotel bill - although we have about 50-75 folks right now so any of that would quickly get super out of control $$ wise.


ETA - Welcome to the board!!!

JamieG12

We are having max 21 guests, plus bride and groom - 23 total.  We are also including transportation to and from the wedding site, which really is just a ride down to the beach but it's steep so we want to bring people down.  And I forgot...we're providing transportation to/from the airport, it's a 2 1/2 hour ride or 20 minute plane ride.  If they want to fly, it's on their dime.  The resort is not all inclusive, which is why we are trying to pick up some extras.

I do think it is a lot and I guess most of our guests can afford to pay for dinners.  Maybe we just let certain people know we'll take care of their tab since I know they can't really pay.  I was thinking about making the dinner the day after the wedding a "join us if you're around' vs we are going to pay for it.

The more I think about it, I think the only ones that will be put off are the few that can't really afford it and maybe it's better to cover them and limit the # of dinners for everyone. 

JamieG12

Oh and thanks for your thoughts and the welcome!!

TerriHugg

Honestly, I think you can cut back on the all the dinners. According to your schedule you are providing dinner for your guests for three nights including your wedding day plus a welcome cocktail party. I would probably cut either the goodbye dinner or the dinner before the wedding to save money. 

I might also cut paying for their trasnportatio back to the airport as opposed to paying for roundtrip transportation between the hotel and airport. 

JamieG12

Thanks for the advice.  I didn't think about cutting out the transportation but maybe that is a good way to cutback, at least for one direction.  We'll definitely need to rethink the dinners as well.  Maybe one welcome and one the day after for anyone that stays.
Thanks again!!!

TerriHugg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_are-we-doing-too-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:820917d8-efcb-4f45-a12f-7658876972ebPost:e08beb62-e993-4b82-801e-9fa773c0c164">Re: Are we doing too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice.  I didn't think about cutting out the transportation but maybe that is a good way to cutback, at least for one direction.  We'll definitely need to rethink the dinners as well.  Maybe one welcome and one the day after for anyone that stays. Thanks again!!!
Posted by JamieG12[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yes, I definitely thinks this a good way to do it. Cutting back on the dinners and sticking to transportation one way shows that you care about catering to your guests as well as staying within budget.</div>

JamieG12

Thanks Terri...that makes me feel a lot better.

ridgebackbride

Hi,

Something to consider, will any of the guests you aren't footing at least part of the bill for get upset if they learn that you are paying part or all of the bill for others?

It might get out, and there might be some hurt feelings or POed people. Hopefully not, but something to think about.

We did an all-inclusive in Costa Rica so all the costs were up front and no one had to worry about paying for anything additional.

JamieG12

In Response to <a href="http://destination.weddings.com/main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_are-we-doing-too-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:820917d8-efcb-4f45-a12f-7658876972ebPost:c8f56f7e-e0b1-4325-9916-1580cc251311">Re: Are we doing too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, Something to consider, will any of the guests you aren't footing at least part of the bill for get upset if they learn that you are paying part or all of the bill for others? It might get out, and there might be some hurt feelings or POed people. Hopefully not, but something to think about. We did an all-inclusive in Costa Rica so all the costs were up front and no one had to worry about paying for anything additional.
Posted by ridgebackbride[/QUOTE]



Thanks for the concern. I do appreciate you pointing it out and I agree that in many situations this could definitely be an issue, paying for some and not others. Fortunately, we are have only a small group of friends and a few family members, most of which are well enough off and can afford the trip. The few that we are helping would never be able to go and they are a couple of our oldest friends and a couple of family members. I don't think it will get out but if it does, I think everyone would completely understand.

It's nice to have people on here that are looking out for each other and bringing things like this to others, like myself's, attenetion. Thanks again.

As far as all inclusive, we are actually going to Manuel Antonio, where we have been before. There aren't all inclusives there and one of the reasons we like where we are going, it's not a big resort or hotel. Because of that, I think we are trying to be more conscientious and help out as much as we can and why we're trying to pay for as many extras as possible. Of course though, trying not to break the bank! :)

kimmykupcakes

WOW! That's a ton and really way too much. Even with a destination wedding, you don't normally pay for more than you would for a wedding at home. This is actually addressed in our Q&A sticky at the top of the page. You don't need to pay for an activity, dinner on the Wednesday night or any transportation (except for what's needed the day of the wedding). I understand picking up the transportation tab for a few ppl who can't come if you don't, but there's no need to pay for transportation to and from the airport. The norm for doing something extra for a DW is to host a welcome party and either a good-bye brunch, lunch or dinner. That's it. 

JamieG12

Kimmy, thanks for your thoughts. I did review the etiquette but I guess we just feel like we are asking a lot from our guests and we wanted to show them a wonderfult time. I appreciate you confirming we don't have to do so much. Makes me feel better about limiting what we are offering. Thanks for all the great advice!