Legal Marriage...

Miracle520 · May 2011

How many of you ladies are getting married in the states right before or after your DW, if you're going out of the country? I initially wanted our CR wedding to be the legal one because to me, it's our wedding date and I'd feel weird having a ceremony that wasn't the legal one. I'd feel like our real anniversary would be the legal date. I'm weird lol

But it's going to cost almost $700 extra to process the paperwork through the CR embassy and could take up to 3 months to reach us in Chicago so we can go have it processed here. Should we just run and get a legal court house ceremony when we get home to make it official or wait it out?

Edit: Would it be tacky to have a super small religious/legal ceremony right before we leave? We would have to have 2 witnesses, which would probably be the 2 male friends we're bringing on the trip anyway. I could do a different dress for it and just not make a big deal. I had had my heart set on my traditional Jewish ceremony so this could help ease that missing piece.

breaness · May 2011

This is kind of irrelevant for us since we're getting married in the states, but we are toying with the idea of getting married at the courthouse in MD prior to going to Hawaii since it takes 2-4 months to get the certificate back from Hawaii and we're about to start the house buying process so the sooner the better.

Kayla&Brian412 · May 2011

I voted to go ahead and make it legal. That is what we're doing. We are going to the courthouse a few weeks before leaving for Mexico. Mexico requires bloodtests to make it legal, and I'm not having any parts of that!

So we're doing the legal stuff here...I haven't decided how yet. I am actually thinking of asking someone to get Ordained so we can just have them sign our marriage certificate so we don't have to go through the whole thing at the courthouse.

We will look at the wedding in Mexico as our wedding and our anniversary date. I don't want the courthouse (if we go that way) to have ANY importance,besides it being additional paperwork. It is not the day I'll wear my dress or FI in his outfit, we won't exchange rings, etc...

HTH, good luck!

waterous.m · May 2011

I personally think its worth the paperwork, I would feel weird having two wedding dates (the legal one and the actual one). That being said if its like mexico and you need bloodwork and all kinds of craziness I would go for doing it before you leave.

sld0618 · May 2011

I think it's worth it to do it there..but if that money is not in the budget, I would do it after you get back. I feel like it would be less weird maybe. Everyone gets it done prior though. Is there a special date around the wedding to you guys, so that the legal one is still special?

breaness · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:e136edf7-b41c-49e7-a030-f2b6be587f00">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think its worth the paperwork, I would feel weird having two wedding dates (the legal one and the actual one). That being said if its like mexico and you need bloodwork and all kinds of craziness I would go for doing it before you leave.
Posted by waterous.m[/QUOTE]
That's exactly what FI said. We're only going to do it if it's needed for the house (and it's seeming more and more so that it's not). He sent me this email about it: "To me, being married before the wedding will make the wedding much less special. I'm not really willing to do that in order to have stupid paperwork a few months earlier. We will have all that paperwork crap for the rest of our lives, same for our wedding memories...no need to water them down. <3" The boy's got a point. <3

nessi979 · May 2011

we had to get married in the US before we left, because at the very last minute Bermuda denied my Rev permission to marry us. At that point we didnt want anyone else marrying us, and it wouldve been a total pain in the ass to find a new officiant in Bermuda, so close to the date. DH was upset that it would "take away" from the wedding, but it really did not at all. not one single little bit. We also decided to get married before we left in case anything happened while traveling we could prove we were married and make legal decisions for each other.

Miracle520 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:e136edf7-b41c-49e7-a030-f2b6be587f00">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think its worth the paperwork, I would feel weird having two wedding dates (the legal one and the actual one).
Posted by waterous.m[/QUOTE]

This!!! I can't seem to get my FI to understand we'd have 2 dates and it'd be weird. I just am anxious about the long wait. It could be late fall though before the marriage is legal here and we might need to add FI to my insurance after we're married.

shytownkelly · May 2011

First of all - in Illinois you don't need witnesses.

I literally just printed the information for our marriage license and trip to JOP later this week. (I'm in Kane County, but here's the info for our area: LINK)

I don't think of it as a Ceremony. It is the legal paperwork. We are getting married in Mexico and as Kayla mentioned they require bloodwork. No thank you!

We are not exchanging vows, rings or anything ceremonial in nature at the JOP. All of that will be our Mexican Ceremony. Our wedding date will be the date of the Mexican ceremony.

If it helps - you can always do the legal bit when you return from Costa Rica. No one needs to know all that stuff.

aukelly · May 2011

One of the reasons we choose St Lucia was bc we wanted our marriage license/certificate to be from the place we were getting married. I agree with having 2 dates. To me each one would mean something and I didn't want that. I say if it's in the budget do it there. If not then just do it here. I mean you could always wait till you get back to JOP it. That way it really would just be a signing of paperwork.

kford0515 · May 2011

We're getting married the week before we leave for Mexico. Like Kayla I didn't want to worry about bloodwork in Mexico. I don't think anyone could drag me to a Mexican hosiptal to get bloodwork done...it just creeps me out. Plus, our wedding certifcates would be in Spanish and would cost some money to get them translated.

We are also thinking about doing a small thing in the park instead of the courthouse with an ordained friend, but this still hasn't been well thought out. (maybe I should start doing that)!

liebescott · May 2011

We are doing a small 20 person ceramony for the leagal part. SA is a long expencive trip most of our friends and my family can not afford. But we won't concider that our true wedding date. The one in South Africa will be our real date..There is just so much more emotion being tied to that ceramony.

Kayla&Brian412 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:0400a07a-bcec-424a-b99e-6879fe62d462">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing a small 20 person ceramony for the leagal part. SA is a long expencive trip most of our friends and my family can not afford. But we won't concider that our true wedding date. The one in South Africa will be our real date..There is just so much more emotion being tied to that ceramony.
Posted by liebescott[/QUOTE]

Exactly! There will be so much more emotion for us in Mexico because of guests, the attire, the beach, etc.

I'm really leaning on the idea of getting someone ordained like I said before to just sign paperwork, so we don't have to have anything linked to it. Also, I know if it cost $700 to do paperwork and such to get it shipped, that is not worth it to me...

Miracle520 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:25616d6d-0278-4e93-9b55-76efb687a27e">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all - in Illinois you don't need witnesses. I literally just printed the information for our marriage license and trip to JOP later this week.
Posted by shytownkelly[/QUOTE]

In order for it to be religiously recognized, we would have to have 2 male non family witnesses.

I'm kind of leaning towards asking FI if we could do something small at the synagoge the Sunday we get back from CR. It'd be the day before our HM so it could be cute.

risa1818 · May 2011

Like Mexico, Aruba required lots of paperwork to be filed ahead of time, and was also quite expensive. It also required us to go to their courthouse to have the legal stuff done and only the ceremony on the beach would be symbolic, so we figured we would skip over all this hassle and do it here. Now I am learning that MA is stupid and doesn't do courthouse marriages, so we need to find an officiant.

That being said, I think if you feel that it will mean more to you to have it done there then do it, but if not, don't worry about the logistics of doing it here. You make it what you want to make it...so if that means just signing papers and going on your way, so be it. If that means making a day out of it and doing something special than that's great too! I don't look at our legal stuff as being the wedding day or date by any means...that is strictly the day of our ceremony in Aruba. I say do whatever feels best for you and your FI!

Carly245 · May 2011

I agree with most the other ladies. Just to save the hassle of everything I would just go down to the CH and do it. You're actually wedding date and anniversary will be when you have the ceremony and everyone is there!

Nicky47846 · May 2011

I voted to get it out for the legal paperwork, I would not want 2 "weddings" which is why we chose Jamaica

mylittlekitty · May 2011

I'm kind of in the same boat as you! The FI and I are both Catholic and must be married inside of a Catholic church for our marriage to be recognized by the church.

We are getting married in his local church on a Sunday, leaving for Mexico on Monday, and getting married on the beach on Saturday. We are inviting parents, siblings, and grandparents to the church. I'm not super crazy about the idea of 2 ceremonies because of how 'real' it'll make the beach ceremony feel but it was a hurdle we couldn't get around.

Good luck!!

mae1564 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://destination.weddings.com/main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:21503b68-0310-42b2-bb59-9fb0389e4dcf">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted to go ahead and make it legal. That is what we're doing. We are going to the courthouse a few weeks before leaving for Mexico. Mexico requires bloodtests to make it legal, and I'm not having any parts of that! So we're doing the legal stuff here...I haven't decided how yet. I am actually thinking of asking someone to get Ordained so we can just have them sign our marriage certificate so we don't have to go through the whole thing at the courthouse. We will look at the wedding in Mexico as our wedding and our anniversary date. I don't want the courthouse (if we go that way) to have ANY importance,besides it being additional paperwork. It is not the day I'll wear my dress or FI in his outfit, we won't exchange rings, etc... HTH, good luck!
Posted by Kayla&Brian412[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why we are getting married before we go to Mexico. FI did not like the idea and neither did I.

shytownkelly · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_legal-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:902401dd-6417-4da1-9e0d-987dd1191941Post:8473247a-5e43-4417-bace-df7336271ace">Re: Legal Marriage...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Legal Marriage... : In order for it to be religiously recognized, we would have to have 2 male non family witnesses. I'
Posted by Miracle520[/QUOTE]

Ah - sorry - missed that in the first post.

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