So I am currently running on 26 hours now without sleep.... not for any good reason, but because I was too stressed out to get any sleep last night.... the reason being nothing wedding related, but a ton outside of it:
- FI has a member of the family who they are being adv right now has 1 week.... I don't know her, but watching everyone else all upset and stressed out takes a toll on you when you're everyone's support system
- I applied to a new job recently, as many of you know as I was talking about it on here, waiting to hear from them still (they are acceping resumes until the end of next week). Although the job is AMAZING compared to where I am now, the idea of the change of jobs, the process of doing so (which it looks like will involve some down time without a job inbetween), is all getting to me a little
- Yesterday morning when I left for work FI was upset about a conversation he had with his boss where they insinuated they were going to hold him partially responsible for a large number of birds that died recently due to heat (he is a farm manager). The boss himself said walking through the barns prev that there was nothing more he could do. Due to this conversation FI has decided that he doesn't like his job anymore and plans on quitting and getting another, before our trip to Columbus in mid Oct. Here is why this stresses me - first of all, we are already looking at my income ending for part of this time, and there's a good chance he'll have a lull in income even if he jumps job to job as they often take awhile to get the paycheck to you. Even more stressful, we live on site, the second he drops his notice, we gotta get out of there.... OH and we operate on one car right now, this new job he's looking at, there is no way for us to make that work, so we'd need to by a car.... before mid Oct along with everything else
- The move idea... this is stressful ALL in its own accord. Why you might ask? Well, for starters we don't pay rent right now, so that's a fairly large expense to add in. Also, the fact we don't have a place right now.... as I said, we gotta leave immediately.... where are we going? Coming up with first and last on such short notice, not to mention the money for a Uhaul and other moving expenses.... oh and the whole packing the whole house concept....
- I have been told I need an appt this month for a full exam again. Apparently on my last exam there was an 'abnormality' which concerns them. For those that don't already know, I recently recovered from Ovarian Cancer, so this is a big stress point
I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out, and FI just doesn't get it. I mean, some of it he does, he's obviously concerned wtih my health, but some of it he's clueless on. Like the car thing, he's like 'I'll just get a ride'... with who? You haven't met your coworkers, you don't know if anyone lives here.... we live in a tiny town 1/2 an hr from the city he'd be working in, its not like he's down the street..... oh and the whole move, he's not acknowledging ANY of the costs of that right now, he seems to think it will just happen magically....
Sorry for the rant girls, I think I just needed to get it off my chest and although I'm still fairly new to this board, I've gotten to know some of you quite well and trust you with what's going on here....
Anyway, at work, so back to work I go I guess. If things are slow I'll be on here periodically as I often am.