Small DW and Kids

heatherjking

Hello Knotties!

FI and I are newly engaged (Xmas day) and planning a DW in Mexico.  The resort of my dreams is within our budget and we get a discount on the wedding package as well as a honeymoon package, so we want to do both there.  We decided to only invite parents and siblings (and their spouses), and because my count there is 4 and his is 9 I am inviting the girls who would be my bridesmaids and their spouses, which evens it up 9 & 9.

The only issue is that the resort is adults only, no exceptions, even for weddings.  His brother and SIL have two kids, 5 and 8 years.  We have told them this yet, but plan to, once we discuss it with his dad and stepmom.  There are other area resorts that they could stay at if they choose to bring the kids, which provide sitting services.

Did anyone else run into this issue?  I feel bad, but at the same time everyone says the wedding should be what the bride and groom want.  Also, I don't know if this matters, but the wedding expenses will be shared by FI & I, my parents, and probably his parents too.  We are asking guests to pay for airfare and rooms.  Any advice or tales of personal experience in this area would be much appreciated!

Thanks!

Heather

angybanez

Try looking for hotels next to your resort that is family-friendly so you can provide this as an option for guests. Bear in mind that if they book somewhere else, they'll need to pay to get in your resort for the day. That's about $100 for each person...maybe.

minionlover

First Congrat and Welcome to the board!! 

What resort are you staying at?  Do they have a sister resort that is family oriented?  They only problem with them staying at a completely different resort is that there is usually a fee to come to your resort for the day and they can sometimes be almost $100pp.  I would tell them that you are looking into a resort but its adults only and see what they say.

PS Stick around and you'll have lots of fun!!

heatherjking

We are looking at Excellence Riviera Cancun.  All of their properties are adults only and that is the only one in the area.  There are a few neighboring ones that are family-friendly.  A day pass for the wedding day is $70 per guest, which we will definitely pay if we have guests that decide to stay elsewhere. 

Cathyl, that's a good idea, we'll let them know we are considering it and see what their reaction is.  I'm thinking (wishfully) that they might welcome an opportunity to get away without the kids.

BMcLeodTeam

Welcome to the board, as Cathy said, I hope you stick around! 

I agree with the others, feel it out with them a bit. Also its going to sound like you value them being there even more if you can say "but if that doesn't work x resort is only x far away and allows kids as well as offering a sitting service". 

jtoly

Welcome and congrats! Being a mom I'd probably leave young ones home with a grandparent and have a nice vacation for myself! Good luck with planning!

saric83

If you definitely want it at that resort, go for it IF you are both 100% okay with the fact that the decision might mean that they don't go there. 

I would maybe run it by them before booking anything just to see what their reaction is.  In an ideal world, they could go without the kids, but obviously one set of grandparents will already be on the trip, so they might have a difficult time finding someone to watch the kiddos.

WinstonsGirl

As other people have said, be prepared that they may not want to/be able to go without their kids, and may decline the invite because of that.  Many people may not want to leave their kids with an unknown sitter, especially in foreign countries.  If you are ok with them not coming, then plan what you want.  If it super important that they are there, you may need to reconsider your plans and perhaps use a different resort.  But I would talk to them first and get an idea of what they think will work best and go from there.   My Granny won't be coming to our wedding, and we almost changed our plans because of her.  Parents and immediate family were a deal breaker for us.  If they couldn't make it, we would stay home to get married.  

heatherjking

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_small-dw-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:9d2926b4-d579-4107-8d31-3911e240a276Post:a70f77fb-d5ce-48b5-91e1-627ce8c1bf7f">Re: Small DW and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Britt made me think of something...are they going to want to leave their children at the other resort while they attend your wedding?
Posted by Cathyl7910[/QUOTE]

That would be one option.  I understand a lot of people would have a problem with this in a foreign country (heck, I probably would), so that might not work.  Another option would be to leave them home with a relative or friend.  We are going to wait to talk to them before we book it, of course.  If it's really an issue, we can still honeymoon at this resort and find another for the wedding. 

heatherjking

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_small-dw-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:9d2926b4-d579-4107-8d31-3911e240a276Post:a70f77fb-d5ce-48b5-91e1-627ce8c1bf7f">Re: Small DW and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Britt made me think of something...are they going to want to leave their children at the other resort while they attend your wedding?
Posted by Cathyl7910[/QUOTE]

That would be one option, although I know many parents would not be okay with this, especially in a foreign country.  They might also have a friend or relative that could watch the kiddos at home for a few days. 

We're definitely going to talk this over with them before we book anything, since it is important to both of us to have siblings present.  If it is an issue, we can still have our honeymoon there and just find another resort for the wedding.

heatherjking

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_small-dw-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:9d2926b4-d579-4107-8d31-3911e240a276Post:a70f77fb-d5ce-48b5-91e1-627ce8c1bf7f">Re: Small DW and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Britt made me think of something...are they going to want to leave their children at the other resort while they attend your wedding?
Posted by Cathyl7910[/QUOTE]

I'm sure many parents would have a problem doing this, especially in a foreign country, so we'll have to find out.  I guess the only other option would be to find a friend or relative to watch them for a few days back home.  If neither of those are possible, we'll look into another resort for the wedding and can still honeymoon there.

Thanks everyone!  I'll let you know how it goes.