My fiance and I are planning a destination wedding. We just want our
immediate family - his parents, my parents and 1 sister to attend, and then throw a reception party back home in the states for everyone else. I do not want my grandmother to attend the wedding because she is unstable and I fear she will ruin the day/experience for me and my fiance. She just found out that I am planning a destination wedding and writes me a nasty email saying
"destination weddings are the absolutely the most selfish idea and to deny one's parents, and/or grandparents, who have lived to see this day, the opportunity to see you married, simply because of a whim, when there is no way that they can afford to make this trip, is unforgivable". She even said "why bother with a wedding dress that no one but a judge and two legal witnesses will see? Why bother with announcements or invitations when you know that most people, and the most important people, will not be able to come? Why ask someone, as your friend asked you, to come to a wedding that is more of an imposition than a pleasure?" She says "in the end destination weddings are a way to blindside people into thinking that their presence is wanted, when it is, indeed, not. It serves as a wonderful way to cut the costs of furnishing anything resembling a party or celebration. It serves the purpose of asking for gifts, because many people will say I can not afford to go, but I will send a gift."
I don't plan on spending a lot on a dress/flowers/invitations/etc because that is not what is important to me. How do I politely tell my grandparents that I don't want them at the wedding and that the home reception is just as special and great and will be for them to share with? Please help!!