Guest List Question

AppleCider11

Hey Ladies!

Okay, so in our originall"write everyone down who'd you'd invite in a dream world" guest list includes 190 people.  Our familes are HUGE.  Only about 25 or so of these people are friends, family friends and their plus 1's if applicable.  We are currently trying to get the list down to 100, expecting on the high end 70 people will come from MA for a DW in Key West.  We are having a hard time making cuts--but it must be done.

FSIL suggested having an "intimate" DW--immediate family, grandmothers, and our friends.  Then, have a real awesome party when we get back.  That way no one's feelings would get hurt when we invited more of one family than others, or certain cousins, and not others (setting guidelines like age and relation, won't really work in our situation).  fwiw we planned on having a cookout when we returned anyways.

Question:  Did you feel like you missed out on the typical reception with your extended family by having a smaller, intimate DW.  Part of me feels it will be romantic, the other part feels if we dont have at least 50 people it wont feel like our wedding reception. 

Thanks!!

P.S.  I'm sorry I'm so wordy. I just can't seem to help myself!

alisonpilgrim610

This is one of the reasons why we did an intimate DW as well (that and the cost!)
We invited only immediate family & our bridal party (and their plus 1's) which cut our guest list to about 60 people. 30 people attendend our wedding in Aruba and we had the best time EVER!! We did have a reception while in Aruba though and plan to have a party here at home at the end of this month for those that couldn't come. The reception in Aruba was WONDERFUL and I would do it again in a heartbeat! We got to spend our special day with all of our closest family & friends...all of the most important people in our lives! We had a 1st dance, speeches, and did an ipod playlist for dancing! So we still did some of the traditions of a formal reception, just on a smaller lever. It was AWESOME! I don't feel like I missed a THING!

AppleCider11

That is so true SimplyMistaken.  Some people will be upset, but there will be those upset with anything we do.  We WANT to go away.  FI's mom was saying "this seems like it wont be cheapter than having it here".......(because she feels bad about not inviting a lot of her family, that we arnt close with)yes the price per person is more, but at home we'd have to invite everyone, and they would almost all show up.  Fi was nice enough to say, no this is what we are doing and we WANT to do it.  Now she is excited, but the guest list issue is still there.

This intimate wedding is sounding better and better,haha.

MissRoo

 We are inviting 120 people to Key West from all over...MA, CA, NY and Ireland!! This was as small as we could go with the guest list b/c we both have decent sized families. Plus. neither of us are inviting co-workers. We are hoping for only 50, but it may be more like 75. The one thing that I have learned thus far is that everyone has an opinion on everything. You can't please everyone so only do whats right for you and your FH. I am still struggling with this part since I want everyone to be happy

chosen175

I guess you need to decide what you see as your perfect wedding day.  What do you feel you HAVE to have on that day to make it feel right?  For us, we could care less about the dinner/dancing aspect - what was important to US was the ceremony, location, and having a good photographer.  We could care less about cake cutting, decorations, etc.  And we wanted a wedding day that we would REMEMBER, not only vaguely recall as one big blur because we were rushed from here to there, this receiving line, that set of pics, etc.  We don't want our day to be scripted and planned down to the last millisecond.  If I want to SIT at my wedding, dang it, I want to be able to sit and have a drink and laugh and relax.  That's what is important to me, so our guest list only includes our parents and everyone else has to wait until we get back home to celebrate with us when we host our AHR brunch.  But everyone is different.    Decide what's right for YOU and go from there.

alisonpilgrim610

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_guest-list-question-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:dd712ab5-786f-48e0-a20f-26899c157828Post:89ea0d7c-f136-4e75-96cb-7213aebfaf63">Re: Guest List Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Alison---that is GOOD to know. I'm so glad you said this! I still want to have a reception there, have it feel like "yes this IS our wedding"...I know of course it will feel like that since we just exchanged,vows,haha. Even though there are some reception traditions I dont want to do, I still want to have that "feeling" I guess, and not just a dinner.  I love how you did an Ipod reception.  I was thinking why would we hire a DJ for 30 people.  I know my dad won't be dancing,haha. Did you experience any problems with this from family or anyone you invited (or didn't)? I want to invite my godmother (one of my aunts..and her husband) and I have 3 cousins in Florida who used to live in MA and they were like sisters to me. And two of our best friends are my Fi's cousin and his gf.  I wonder if this would cause problems.
Posted by AppleCider11[/QUOTE]

We didn't have any problems at our wedding at all. Everyone had the best time. People were saying it was "like a dream". There were a few slips up with the ipod (repeated songs, some silences, nothing major), but nobody cared. Everyone just danced, socialized, & had fun!
I agree with Chosen though. You have to decide what you want to make it your day! There are always going to be people that have something to say or complain.
I didn't want to spend my whole wedding thanking people for coming and then before I knew it the night would be over. I wanted to remember everything. I wanted to enjoy every moment, dance my butt off, and eat dinner! I did ALL of those things!
We didn't do a recieving line, bouquet toss, garter throw, or even a cake! We chose the things that were most important to us to make it feel like the day was ours.
We invited our parents, grandparents, siblings & their wives/husbands, immediate aunts & uncles, my older cousins that were more like brothers, & our bridal party of 8 with their significant others. We didn't allow any kids except for my 13yr old brother. (this help cut the list a lot)
You should invite you who feel the closest with and don't feel like you need to justify your choices to anyone!