Destination Weddings Discussions

So I think we're going to elope now...

Sorry, this will be long...

We are about 5 months out from our wedding and invitations have been sent but I think we might elope now. 

No one seems to be going to our wedding. I booked a place that I wasn't even in love with to accomodate my guests. (We originally wanted to go to Barbados but it seemed too expensive and inaccessible for everyone so we switched to the Bahamas instead.) Neither one of us really wanted to get married there, but it was the most affordable place for our guests we could find. We've had about 40 people say they would go to the wedding in the Bahamas back in June when we first sent save the dates. Since then everyone, has been saying their going. But only seven people have put down the initial depsoit of $25 per person. The second deposit of $200 per person is due on January 5th. I hardly think anyone is going to put down money. What sucks if we don't have enough people by that date, we'll lose the group rate. Of course, we call people and now everyone wants to suddenly act like they didn't know about the first $25 deposit. We still have people saying they are going, but now I think they are all talk. Not even his mom and brother have put down  a deposit yet! (We do know they are definitelly going though). 

I understand that dw are expensive for some, but I really wish people would stop leading us on to believe they are coming and not put down a deposit since we told them in JUne. Just tell us you aren't coming! We won't hate them for it!

On top of that, the wedding coordinator at the resort is terrible. She likes to make appointments but not actually call then come up with some dumb excuse on why she can't talk to me. 

At this point me and the fiance are so through with this. We picked a location that we weren't too thrilled about to please our guests after they said they would go there and can afford it and now no one is coming. We are really thinking about telling everyone the wedding is canceled so we can get married in Barbados like we originally wanted.

People will be mad but I don't care at this point. I know that sounds bad, but if enough people don't deposit by January 5th I think we might actually consider it... 

WE were thinking of hosting an AHR but I don't know if we even want to deal with it since we can't trust people to even RSVP or give a truthfull answer even with nearly a year notice! 

I wish we had stuck with Barbados like we originally wanted instead of changing for our guests' sake. I guess this is what we get when we go against what we want to please our guests. 
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Re: So I think we're going to elope now...

  • I'm really sorry to read this Terri! ** BIG HUGS ** your way! If you want my honest opinion... Cancel it! Give the 7 people their $25 and plan it the way you want! Book Barbados! I've been there... It's beautiful! Pick whatever resort you always dreamed of and start planning the wedding of YOUR dreams! Open the invite back to your guests... Let them know this is what you wanted and that's what matters! even if no one comes at that point (which I highly doubt) at least you will have what you want. We get so caught up in everyone else's needs that we lose sight of what we want... The truth is, the people who really want to be there will be there! And to lessen the stress, when you give them the info of the new place- drop it at that! Let them do what they're going to do... Send an email 2 months prior and then 1 month... Remind them if they say their interested then leave it at that. Count on not having a group rate so you can know your budget for your trip beforehand and plan away. I know it seems dreary at this point but things will get better, just stay true to what you guys want, that's all that matters. I wouldn't have done my wedding any different, luckily I had friends and family that were more excited, but no one couldve showed and it still would've been the best day of my life as long as I had my man by my side! Hugs again... I'm here if you want to talk!
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  • Just go and book what you want.  If you are not overly financially invested just go for what you want! 
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  • I agree with the others, if you're not super invested financially, then cancel, and do what you originally really wanted to. 

    I will say though, that we had the same problem with our guests. Getting people to go ahead and book was like pulling teeth. Everyone said they were coming, but even our wedding party put off booking until the last minute. They are all just now starting to book. A lot of them said they were waiting because they wanted to figure out how long they could go for, how much they would be able to afford, etc. They were definitely coming, just needed to wait to figure out time off work, school, etc. It's hard to be patient though, when you're waiting on numbers. I have to just keep reminding myself, that for me, it's my wedding, and the biggest deal ever. For my guests, it's a vacation that happens to include a wedding. 
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  • This is YOUR wedding. If you're not happy, and no one seems to be coming anways, cancel and do your thing. 

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  • I love you Knotties! Seriously, your support means so much to me! LIke I said, we didn't want to get married in the Bahamas anyway but we wanted to be considerate of our guests. 

    I think the SO and I will have a serious discussion about whether or not we want to switch. 

    Fortunately, everything we put down so far is fully refundable so there wouldn't be any real lost except for the invitations but thats not a big deal.

    It's just really frustrating that everyone is taking so long. I mean his mom hasn't even put anything down! 

    Thanks again everyone. I don't know what I woul do without you all. Of course, I will keep everyone updated. 
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  • do what's right for you!!! What's important is that you're happy!
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