Guests that show up in jeans or shorts

loanbpham

Ok...this really really irks me. I remember a few years ago when I attended my old college roommate's wedding. Her ceremony was in a Catholic Church and her reception was at a nice golf club. The people that sat in front of us at the church had on printed t-shirts and jean shorts.  I was really disgusted when I saw this.This past weekend I went to my FMIL's wedding. It was during the day on Saturday, so it wasn't too formal. However, this does not mean that people should whip out their most comfortable scumbag clothes. FI's sister said that her BF wanted to wear shorts to the wedding. She said that they don't have any dress clothes because they never go out. So the wedding came and he showed up in khakis and what looked to be an oversized t shirt.  Another guest showed up in shorts.I think that it's very dispectful to the bride and groom to show up like a slob.  Unless the wedding is casual and has some sort of theme, I do not think that it's in good taste to dress like a scum bag. I would like to think that my guests will not dress like a bum, but how would you handle a guest that does?

**Mutley**

I would graciously greet them and thank them for coming to share in the celebration.  I doubt it will even cross my radar on that day.  Just remember that it is a reflection of that person, not you or your FI. 

StefandTodd

We had one 12 year old kid in jeans (co-worker's "date"), one random girl we didn't even INVITE in skinny jeans with a red and white striped shirt on (she used to be babysat by T, and came with some people that were invited, and proceeded to follow us around telling T how much she "loves him" and paying me no mind at all), and one (co-worker's husband) in cargo shorts and tennis shoes (T's boss gave her crap about her husband's poor dressing, and she was embarassed by it)!!! Irritating??  Abso-freakin-lutely. Know what you'll do about it the day of?  Nothing, most likely.  Everything else will just matter way too much to let it bother you on the day of.  So, unless you plan to put something in the invite or on your website dictating attire, there's not a lot you can do (and even if you dictate attire, people will likely not listen...and then there's still nothing you can really do). Oh wait...there is something you can do!  Come back and tell us about how bad it was.  And laugh about it.  B/c it really won't dampen your perfect day or make it any less special or memorable, I can all but promise you that   HTH.

loanbpham

Yeah...I guess that isn't much I can do .  I did joke about it with FI that we should have someone be a bouncer at the door and not let people in that are dressed like slobs.  If someone does show up dressed like a scum bag (which I hope no one does), I will definitely come back here with pics!

StefandTodd

One of the greatest things about the knot - allowing us all to commisserate on just how bizarre and absurd so many people are when it comes to weddings and wedding planning...   Hopefully though, you won't have the problem!!  GL!!

cromero49

Yikes, shorts to a wedding?!  Unless it's a bbq or super informal beach wedding I don't understand why people think that is appropriate.  If you don't have dress clothes maybe they should buy some for future occasions!  Geez.  I agree with other people, not much you can do the day of, but it certainly says a lot about their character.

Koney80

This is too funny! I was just at my cousin's wedding this saturday and the same thing happened!  We had girls dressed like high dollar hookers on one side and then guys in hawaiian shirts or full on Cowboys, boots, hat and beer bottles in hand as they walked down the isle crushing all the rose petals as they went to their seats.  I couldn't believe it. But these people were friends of my cousin and her FI. They loved them for who and want they are and just wanted them to show up and be present.  They did not mind.  So...if your a person that does mind, like myself, then put a dress code in the invitation.  Like, no children under age of 12 allowed and No shoes, no shirt, no service! ;)My FI and I were taking major notes of how we would do things differently. It really put things into perspective.

MillerGirl26

I'm putting "semi-formal attire" on my reception card to hopefully avoid that problem! lol

loanbpham

"No shoes, no shirt, no service"  LOL.I am so glad that there are no high school girls in my family. Seriously, high school girls are dressing sluttier and sluttier every year. Tough call which would be worse...a person that came dressed like a scum bag or a call girl.

kpstowell

We had one man show up in wranglers, but it really made no difference to me. We are from the central valley and someone was bound to show up in wranglers, boots and a cowboy hat. If some kid showed up in shorts and a t shirt I would have been disappointed in their parents. Those two need to buy some dress clothes. A wedding invite is the perfect excuse to buy a new dress!

**Mutley**

Please do not dictate any sort of dress code. Your invite is supposed to speak to how formal the affair will be. Putting a dress code on an invite is very poor form. My cousin did this on her 'information card' and it rubbed me the wrong way. It didn't help that they are also requesting that all guests wear black or white. (Plus they added where they are registered.)

sarandjerburns

While some people do not realize the social "expectations" when it comes to being a guest at a wedding, there is really nothing you can do about it. I mean, would you really turn someone away from your wedding because they aren't dressed up enough for you? Some people just don't dress up and that's how it is. A couple of the most hilarious people I know were dressed down for our wedding, and I can care less because it was important to me for them to be there, regardless of what they were wearing. So hopefully you are enjoying your day fully so that you aren't fully paying attention to those that aren't dressed appropriate.

Equine Osmosis

Ok, it's not Friday, but I have a confession... When I was 16 I worked at a resident Girl Scout camp in Illinois. I lived at the camp during that summer but some of the girls/women who worked there lived local and went home on the weekends. One weekend I went home with a friend/co-camp counselor. She and her mother had decided that weekend to go to their church to see a friend of the family's get married. They weren't officially invited and weren't planning on going to the reception but the bride and groom told them they were welcome to come to the church and watch the ceremony. Well, my friend and her mother put on dresses but I literally had nothing to wear but my jean shorts and a t-shirt. I didn't want to go at all but they both insisted that it was no big deal and that we'd sit in the back row and slip out the side with out anyone noticing. With great protest I joined them but was HORRIFIED when, right after the minister pronounced them husband and wife, the couple walked to the front pews and started their receiving line row by row instead of walking out of the church first. There was no way for me to escape without being noticed. If I had gotten up and left before the couple got to our row it would have been rude and also would have drawn more attention to myself. I had to sit and wait, anxiously, until the couple got to our row. Making things worse, I had followed my friend into the pew so I was closest to the aisle and had to stand up and introduce myself first. The couple looked pretty surprised and confused but I just said "I'm with them" and moved out of the way as fast as possible. I'm sure I have never been that red with embarrassment before! All I wanted was a rock to crawl under! Needless to say I was very p.o.ed at my friend and if I had any idea who that poor bride was I'd love a chance to apologize. That being said, if someone was inappropriately dressed at my wedding, I wouldn't say anything. I'd just hope they would act better than they dressed and still have a good time.

suzeqzee

loan - I have to agree with you about the high school girls.  I was so worried about finding an appropriate dress for my niece.  She's 12, all legs and likes to dress a little too tight/short for me to be comfortable with.I did manage to find something I liked (and that she likes, but to be honest her feelings about it weren't a big concern ), which is appropriately long and not too tight - whew.I'm not sure what people will wear, and I'm not sure I care, but I did tell my dad he doesn't have to wear a tux but he can't wear shorts.He said he'll wear a tux anyway.  LOL.