No Gifts?

Yellen

I am just back from our honeymoon and I had a question.  I know the etiquette is not to expect gifts- totally understand that.  However, is it common to not give ANY kind of a gift?  Not even a card?  We had a handful of people who did not give us anything.Is there any etiquette on sending late gifts?  We obviously will not ask people, but I am just curious about your experiences!  TIA!

jackelbride

You have up to a year to send the newlyweds gifts... but most people that don't bring gifts after 1 months probably aren't getting you anything.Times are tough.

sm23

Ditto Ruthie. I would hope people would still bring a card even if they can't afford a gift, but some people just don't...

Yellen

Thanks girls- I completely understand.  I guess I was just surprised there weren't any cards.

loanbpham

Yellen,You mean you had some wedding guests show up empty-handed? If so, that's kinda strange and mean.

anhngo

Hi Yellen - congrats and welcome back!!! I noticed the same thing - there were a handful or two of guests that didn't give gifts before or at the wedding, and we've slowly received a few more gifts (two months after wedding) since then.

maryh01

We had several people show up without anything...not even a card.  I was in shock also because some of them were family and only one of DHs groomsmen got us something.  I thought it was really rude.  I totally get that times are tough, but a card is $3!  I took it as a slap in the face that people would show up to a wedding (where we paid $100 a person to invite you!!!) and not even bring a $3 card.  We have gotten 2 gifts after the fact...not many.  I'm guessing that the people who didn't get us anything aren't getting us anything at this point.

StefandTodd

We just got a gift about a month and a half ago, and a friend keeps reminding me that she has "bad" etiquette, but still has my gift at her house...it's been 13 months since my wedding.  Technically, you still have a full year to receive wedding gifts without it being abnormal or poor etiquette.  Also, I went to a wedding a few months before ours, and I had been so distracted, I completely forgot to get a gift until the morning of the wedding, I went on the registry and ordered it.  I'm sure they didn't get it until they were back from their honeymoon.  I think it's normal, and you will probably get a few things in the next year.  I hope.  Also though, some people just kind of suck.    Our BEST FRIENDS did our wedding video as their "gift" and we still haven't seen it.  Yeah, sometimes people really really suck.

Yellen

Thanks again for your replies.  I was just a little surprised, but figured the etiquette gods had an explanation for me.  I'm not worried about the gifts, but I understand the costs of weddings and almost always try to give a nice gift.  Oh well!

carefer

OMG, I was just talking about this tonight. I totally don't understand...we had a ton of people show up without gifts or cards. I'm not expecting much after the fact. I'm not gift grabby or anything, but I wouldn't ever go to a wedding without a gift, or card at the very least.

Yellen

Holy crap- Carefer- you look gorgeous!

maryh01

Carfer...I'm with you totally! I would be so embarassed to show up to a wedding without so much as a card let alone a gift of some sort! Like they think you won't find out? I really don't get it...

jackelbride

You guys just reminded me to buy wedding presents for the last two weddings I've been to and the one that's coming up (the day after mine so obviously I can't go)!!!

anglyn

I had some people do this as well. No cards. No gift. I don't think it really mattered much. Usually the late gifts we received were shipped/ordered around the time of our wedding. Technically you have a year to send a gift, but I haven't seen that happen.

loanbpham

Yellen,It's bad etiquette to show up to a party empty-handed....period.I have never  even shown up at my friend's dinner party without bringing something. To show up to a wedding with nothing? That's inexcusable. Yes, times are tough, so at least be creative and make something....but don't just show up with nothing.

jackelbride

According to traditional etiquette rules it's okay to give the bride or groom a gift up to a year after the wedding. Also, it's typical for men to totally forget those kinds of things... especially if they don't have a "lady friend".Oh yeah, it's bad etiquette to ask for money like a honeymoon registry or what not. The last wedding I went to only had a honeymoon registry so we skipped getting them anything until I could figure out what to get her... she ended up with a toaster oven.

samp42

So I just sent out thank you cards for THOSE that gave us gifts.  Should I also be sending thank you cards to those that didn't give us a gift?  I haven't because I feel like if they couldn't take the time to get us even just a card then why am I sending them one, and on the other hand I feel that i'm supposed to.

jackelbride

You are suppose to thank them for coming even if they didn't send you a gift.

carefer

Thanks Yellen! I'm going to definitely send thank-you's to everyone who came, at the very least it may remind them they haven't sent a gift. I'm terrible. Haha.