FI wants a job with 75% travel

loanbpham

Ok....I was in a good mood this morning until FI gave me some news. He said that his former colleague can offer him a position at another company that makes  $20k or more than his current salary. The only downfall is that it's 75% travel.My position used to be 100%  travel and it's not fun at all. I lived in hotels and airports and was home on the weekends. It was physically and emotionally draining. Until a person has a job like this, it's hard to understand.FI is stoked about the traveling and tries to sugar coat it by saying that he'll be home on the weekends and that the extra money will ease us of our pains. We're both engineers at a Fortune 500 company, so it's not like we're hurting....but somehow he's so hooked on the better salary.I'm 33 and he's 26 and right afte we're married (this March) we want to start a family. Now...if he's gone everyday except on the weekends....i'll pretty much be a single mom...which is what I don't want.  Also, since we're getting married in 5 months, it would be nice if he was around to help with he loose ends of the wedding planning.I love him with all my heart, but I cannot support his new position. He hasn't taken it, but I am not sure what else to do. For me, it's not always about the money. Money does not equal happiness. I don't know how to rationally tell him this. Thanks for listening:(

anglyn

I know how you feel. DH travels a lot. So he's really not home a lot. The reason you gave for not wanting to start a family is something I think about a lot too. The only thing you can do is talk to him. Tell him you don't want to have children if he's home only on the weekends. If he wants to have kids like you do. maybe that will bring him back to reality. Sure the extra money is nice, but the time you miss together would be substantial. It gets lonely being by yourself most of the time after awhile. I think you need to sit down and talk to him about the emotional toll the job will take on you and your relationship. Hopefully he'll listen.

apple_green

Ugh, I couldn't do it! Talk to him. Talk and talk and talk about different situations that could come up and what he would do (you're in labor, or injured.... etc.). Good luck

anhngo

DH's job has 50% travel. It makes traveling for "fun" on the weekends not that fun for him, because all he wants is to be at home. The idea of getting on yet another plane is tiring. Might be something for you to bring up to your FI. Good luck with the conversation!!

loanbpham

Thanks everyone!Hopefully some sort of compromise will come of this.

DNichole26

Be honest about how you feel.  Marriage (and relationships in general) are a partnership so he should know how you feel also.  I used to work for a company where I traveled 50% of the time.  I left that place a little over a year ago because it of the effect it was having on me and on my relationship.  DH disliked me being gone all the time and also having no desire to go out and do things when I was home, I just wanted to be home!  DH was up front about how he felt eventually and it made me reconsider other options.  I'm FAR happier where I'm at now and glad I did make a switch because it gave me the opportunity to really enjoy the planning and all that surrounds a wedding.