The Dreaded Gap

bridetobe71412

For those of you with gaps between the ceremony and reception (Yes, I know they suck but are unavoidable for some of us . . . ): What, if anything, are you planning for your guests during the gap? Are you suggesting places to hang out? Are you hosting something? Or are you assuming they are adults and can figure out how to occupy their time for an hour (or so)?

We will not be hosting anything but I'm trying to decide if I should put something in our ceremony programs stating places to go/stay/hang out before the shuttle comes to pick the guests up to bring them to the reception. This info is on our website, but I don't think many people have checked it and/or thought ahead about this.

I know we've addressed this before, so apologies for bringing it up again. Thanks

butterflyjumper1

Our gap will probably end up being 2 hours total, but with drive time and parking time, probably 1.5ish for the guests. 

I am going to assume that most guests will realize there are tons of bars within walking distance, as well as Starbucks, a sports bar, and a more formal bar in the hotel where the reception is.

We are not hosting anything, but I do plan to put some suggestions of things that are nearby in our brochure for the OOT guest bags.  All of my in-town friends and family know where to go and what to do to kill some time. 

It definitely sucks and I feel bad that we have to do it this way, but there really isn't anything we can do about it.    

arunkumar

We have an 1 hour gap before the reception begins. I have indicated on our wedding website and in our wedding programs three suggestions for guests to fill their time. I have suggested enjoying the gardens where the ceremony will take place, driving to the reception and going to the restaurant/bar next door (both places are owned by the same company) or using the time to check into their hotel room if they have reserved a room. 

Most of our guests are local so they know the area well enough to find something to do other than what I have suggested.

I would suggest you add something in the program for people who do not look at your wedding website.

lvissers

I think it would be nice and a good idea to put a list of some places to go/see on your ceremony program, that way it's right there in front of everyone in case they didn't see the info on your website or forgot. :-)

bridetobe71412

Thanks, ladies. I can probably find some space on the back of the program. There's a ton of info already (Catholic mass) so I just didn't want it to be lost. Maybe I'll put it in a different color or something.

ceglare4

This is sort of an unrelated question but I don't have to worry about the gap so I don't know how this works:

When does your cocktail hour start if you're having one? I always thought that if you had a gap, the guests would just go to the reception/cocktail hour venue and eat and drink while you were taking pictures. So cocktail hour=gap.

Not how it works?

colleenm18

Bridetobe-  Where is the shuttle picking your guest up from?  A hotel?  If so I would just assume they would hang out in the hotel bar until the shuttle (this is what i have done in between gaps before)

We have a 2 hour gap but with the drive it will be about an hour and our reception is at a hotel which also features a bar so our guest can just hang there until cocktail hour begins.

penny12986

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:4c1dd3df-de8d-4dda-92f3-782772b149dc">Re: The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]This is sort of an unrelated question but I don't have to worry about the gap so I don't know how this works: When does your cocktail hour start if you're having one? I always thought that if you had a gap, the guests would just go to the reception/cocktail hour venue and eat and drink while you were taking pictures. So cocktail hour=gap. Not how it works?
Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

Our cocktail hour starts directly after the ceremony ends.  Guests move from the ceremony room to the cocktail area.

k8888

The only place I'm putting any suggestions is on the welcome letter that is going into the hotel welcome bags.  Anyone staying over is most likely from out of town (aside from WP) so they're the only ones I'm concerned with wandering around the area aimlessly.

Everyone else is on their own.  No one ever gave me anything to do or suggested anywhere to go in the gap between ceremony/reception when I went to their weddings.  They're grown adults and can figure it out, just like I did for their weddings.

Furthermore, 99% of our families are Catholic so they are all well aware of the "Catholic gap" and will most likely expect it anyway.

Our ceremony is from 3-4, cocktail hour starts at 6:30... it'll probably take 45-60 minutes to get from the church to the reception because of summertime traffic, so I don't think it'll be a big deal anyway.

hmacsine

In Response to Re:The Dreaded Gap:[QUOTE]This is sort of an unrelated question but I don't have to worry about the gap so I don't know how this works:When does your cocktail hour start if you're having one? I always thought that if you had a gap, the guests would just go to the reception/cocktail hour venue and eat and drink while you were taking pictures. So cocktail hourgap.Not how it works? Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

The gap is the time between the end of ceremony and beginning of the cocktail or reception.

ceglare4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:1dae0df8-01e6-4bd1-8c58-715a51898153">Re:The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:The Dreaded Gap: The gap is the time between the end of ceremony and beginning of the cocktail or reception.
Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

Why not just have the cocktail hour start right after the ceremony? Or if you have say a 45 minute drive to the reception from the ceremony, have it start an hour after the ceremony ends? That way your guests basically leave the ceremony and go straight to the cocktail hour. The only gap is drive time.

penny12986

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:abbe94e0-669b-4a9c-b3af-49d2cd5e3a7c">Re:The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:The Dreaded Gap : Why not just have the cocktail hour start right after the ceremony? Or if you have say a 45 minute drive to the reception from the ceremony, have it start an hour after the ceremony ends? That way your guests basically leave the ceremony and go straight to the cocktail hour. The only gap is drive time.
Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

Some churches only offer a 10am ceremony time or something similar so I think the question was referring to people who are having a nighttime reception that won't start until 5pm or so.

ceglare4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:d1622712-535d-4e88-a087-a5a1ecb7dfef">Re:The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:The Dreaded Gap : Some churches only offer a 10am ceremony time or something similar so I think the question was referring to people who are having a nighttime reception that won't start until 5pm or so.
Posted by penny12986[/QUOTE]

Ahh that makes more sense, thanks penny! Sorry for my cluelessness.

bridetobe71412

What Penny said.

The latest ceremony our church will allow is 3pm and we can't start our reception (aka cocktail hour) until 6pm (per the reception venue). Ceremony 3-4, gap 4-5, shuttles come at 5 and will be boarded, and then one leaves at 5:15 and the other (for the latecomers) leaves at 5:30 to drive out to our reception.

Our ceremony is at a Catholic church in downtown Philly and the reception is at a venue outside the city (about 20 miles). People are being picked up at one of the room block hotels, about a block from the church. I figured many people won't want to hang out at a bar, so I was concerned that my only "real" suggestion was "wander around aimlessly, hit up a Starbucks, or start getting plastered."

The only people from Philly that are attending my wedding are me, my mom, and my brothers, and I haven't lived in Philly since 2000. So no one really knows the area.

Do you think it's cool to just put suggestions in with the welcome bags? I really have a very cluttered ceremony program already . . .

penny12986

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:702d04ea-841e-4085-864f-f1bea867fd30">Re:The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:The Dreaded Gap : Ahh that makes more sense, thanks penny! Sorry for my cluelessness.
Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

Eh! No worries!  I didn't even know that a 'gap' existed until I started reading things on TK.

mbody

I think putting a little blurb in the program would be good enough. All the weddings that I've attended with gaps, my friends and I just go to a bar and order some drinks and an app. If we're not familiar with an area, we just google ahead of time. But, the info in the program may be helpful to some people.

BmoreBride311

I was going to suggest putting ideas in the program as well, but if you feel it's already cluttered and you are putting it in the welcome bags and on your website, that's probably enough.

I'm just glad you are even thinking about this. I understand why gaps may be necessary, but it just annoys me as a guest if I don't know to expect it and the B+G offered no ideas on what to do, or even that we shouldn't go straight to the reception.

k8888

Not trying to be a jerk whatsoever, but how would one not expect a gap if the times of the ceremony and the cocktail hour are included on the invitation?  Like if you saw a ceremony starting at 3PM and a cocktail hour starting at 6PM, wouldn't it kind of be understood that the ceremony isn't 3 hours long?  Maybe I'm just ignorant because we're so used to the "gap" in my circle of family/friends. 

bridetobe - I wouldn't include it in the ceremony program if it doesn't fit and you have stuff listed elsewhere (website, welcome bags, whatever).

bridetobe71412

Thanks, ladies!

I mean, I think most people will put two and two together, but you never know. I had a friend only book a hotel for the night of the wedding, despite being OOT, and I had to specifically tell her "You cannot check into the hotel until 3pm, which is when the wedding ceremony begins, so you'll need to be there on Friday, not Saturday, if you want to get ready in the hotel." 

mbody

I think the welcome bags are the pefect place to list some things to do around town during the gap. I like that even better than in the program!

BmoreBride311

@K888 - I went to a wedding last year that had a 1.5 hr gap, with the reception location 2 blocks from the ceremony spot. The invitation only stated the time of the ceremony and "Reception to follow" - there was no time stated for this. I guess b/c it didn't say "to immediately follow" I should have known?? I had never been to a wedding with a gap that long before, so it didn't even occur to me.

k8888

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:8872e5e9-a9fb-4523-aba1-8fd0ce3cfdab">Re: The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]@K888 - I went to a wedding last year that had a 1.5 hr gap, with the reception location 2 blocks from the ceremony spot. The invitation only stated the time of the ceremony and "Reception to follow" - there was no time stated for this. I guess b/c it didn't say "to immediately follow" I should have known?? I had never been to a wedding with a gap that long before, so it didn't even occur to me.
Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

Ohhh yeah I can def see people not knowing if they didn't give you a start time for the reception. 

How did the you/the other guests know when the cocktail hour would actually start the day of the wedding?  Did you show up at the reception and get turned away because it was too early?

BmoreBride311

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-dreaded-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:6ded7bac-6b7c-4269-aaec-13392f1c7893Post:e2d159cd-a158-48c7-8e55-9ae163c5786b">Re: The Dreaded Gap</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Dreaded Gap : Ohhh yeah I can def see people not knowing if they didn't give you a start time for the reception.  How did the you/the other guests know when the cocktail hour would actually start the day of the wedding?  <strong>Did you show up at the reception and get turned away because it was too early?</strong>
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup. Literally the doors were locked and that's how we (and the 50 or so other guests with us) all found out. This wedding in general was a mess. So many little details were overlooked, and they just added up to annoyance.</div>

k8888

YIKES. 

sunshine9779

I'm not really having a gap but don't want my guests to be at the reception much before us.  We are getting married in a park and will be having lemonade and a treat from a local bakery provided in the park as well as some sort of suggestion in the program for the guests to relax there while we have pictures taken and then to head to the reception.