Seating chart rant

julzy

If one more wedding guest contacts me complaining about how they don't want to sit with so and so I'm going to f*ing scream. I've had it. I'm seriously starting to lose it. My mother just called me for the 3rd time in a week span asking me to switch around tables because now my Aunt doesn't want to sit with another aunt of mine.

My family has been the worst culprit with every single aspect of the wedding. Why can't anyone just be selfless for one friggin day and not make it about themselves? I'm so so stressed out as it is. I don't need everyone adding stress with their own stupid drama. I don't care if today you hate your sister. Suck it up for one day.

I'm so sick of all of this. At this point, I'm cutting out more than half of my family by the time this wedding is over.

My mother is the worst culprit. If she doesn't go see a therapist and psychiatrist after the wedding, I'm going to need to step away. I can't have this in my life anymore. It's affecting my own mental well-being and my relationship. I'm literally sick to my stomach. (I posted yesterday about my mother literally calling my hair salon before my hair trial to "warn my hair stylist that I'm a b*tch and a bridezilla" because I hadn't called her in 2 or 3 days. She's not a well woman and she refuses to get help... she's dragging me down with her. =/

xxjen015

Take a deep breath! I'm so sorry about all of this. Make your seating chart and if anyone else says anything, apologize and say that you have already sent the escort cards to be printed and they can't be changed (even if you're DIY'ing), so once dinner is over, they're welcome to mingle and visit other tables. 

As far as your mom goes, I'm sorry. It's hard for people to accept that they need to get help. I know it's hard, but try not to blame the things she's doing due to her illness on her. Those are things she really, probably can't help (I obviously don't know for sure since I don't know her and I don't know what's wrong with her). All you can do is know that she needs help and try to support her and get her help, and ignore her in terms of the wedding stuff. Focus on you! It'll all be okay

pzavecz

So sorry you're dealing with this...and especially from your own mom who seems to be making it worse. One thing I don't understand is how these people know where they are sitting unless you are telling them where and who they are sitting with. Or are they just letting you know who they don't want to sit with? Are you asking them who they want to sit with? Just wondering. If you are telling people where they are sitting and with whom, just stop telling them and make the seating chart you think is best. Problem solved. They can't complain to you before if they don't know anything. They'll find out where they are sitting the day of like everyone else does. They are adults and should be able to act as such and be able to sit through 1 hr of dinner behaving appropriately...at least one would hope. Haha. If not, I think it will just look bad on their part not yours. Bottom line I think generally you want to accommodate people and sit them with people they like and don't want to sit people who hate each other at the same table...but at the same time, you can only do so much and can't accommodate everyone's request..especially when it seems like everyone is doing it. Do your best and don't let this stress you out. Not worth it.

ericaandtom2012

Ugh, that sounds awful!  To think that I was complaining about my FMIL not telling me at all who she wants to sit with.  I think you need to tell your mom that the seating chart is finalized and won't be changed. Don't give her any information on who she or anyone else is sitting with. Dinner is an hour and a half (maybe 2 hours at most), she should be able to suck it up.  Or she can just switch chairs with someone on the day of.  

I'm sorry your family is making wedding planing more stressful.  Try to ignore them (the red button on cell phones is wonderful) and don't let them get to you.  I would also make sure that all of your vendors know that they are not to take directives from anyone but you, your FI, and your DOC (if you have one).  Good luck, and you're almost there!

Lrini1

I was just about to post about this exact same thing.  Seriously you can't sit through one meal with someone?  And you honestly think I want to deal with the drama right now?  So please know you're not alone in that frustration.  I've decided to review my chart with my mom once more and then calling it final.  I was so frustrated with all the changes, but she did bring up valid points about not crowding those in wheelchairs- which I hadn't thought of.  It would have been nice if she would have helped me with it a week ago when I was spending hours on it by myself.

I'm sorry that your feelings about your mom and her actions are bringing you down.  It sucks to not feel support from family, especially your mom.  If she's aware of the tension on your relationship maybe you could go with her to counseling if you think she wouldn't be receptive to hearing that you think she alone needs help.  Did you tell her how that made you feel when she called the salon?

julzy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_seating-chart-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:014b26aa-2eee-4af6-abf9-b3040a3ae0bfPost:a658742a-acfb-4149-b397-20315ffe82bc">Re:Seating chart rant</a>:
[QUOTE]So sorry you're dealing with this...and especially from your own mom who seems to be making it worse. One thing I don't understand is how these people know where they are sitting unless you are telling them where and who they are sitting with. Or are they just letting you know who they don't want to sit with? Are you asking them who they want to sit with? Just wondering.
Posted by pzavecz[/QUOTE]

No one has seen the final seating chart besides FI and I. They're just demanding not to sit near each other and when I explained to my mother that this is how it has to be she started flipping out on me.

phfiely

I cannot believe guests are calling you about seating. That is so incredibly rude and obnoxious. My response would be "escort cards are already printed." period. I would be so mad and not even want people attending if they were going to act like children! Ugh good luck!