Ugh, more BP problems

violakat03

Well, the BP problems started off a month ago when I gently reminded all my BMs that they needed to get dress orders in ASAP. Only one had ordered hers at that point. In response to the nudge, one of my BMs decided to drop out because she didn't want to take time off work. Let's just say that did not go over well on our friendship.

Luckily the other BMs that were taking their sweet time did get their dresses ordered (one on the very last day possible!) and now have them in their possession and all further drama was removed.

Today was the deadline for fitting for the GM tuxes. They've known they'd need a tux since we first asked them and we warned them that tux rental prices have gone way up in recent years (they're double what they were the last time I looked at them 6 years ago) and gave them an estimated cost to make sure they were ok with it before confirming that they'd accept being a GM. We gave them the date, the deposit amount and the rental price three weeks ago. Two of them went the next day, a third went last week. FI got a call from Men's Wearhouse today to let him know that two of them still hadn't come in for their fittings. FI then texted both friends, one said he just hadn't had a chance yet and should still be able to get it even though he'll have to pay a rush fee. The other said he can't afford the rental so he's not sure what he's doing.

Seriously. It's 2 weeks before the wedding. We asked you to be a GM almost a year ago and you knew up front what the cost was. When we gave you the definite rental information almost a month ago, you couldn't have told us then? A month ago, we might have been able to help out, but not 2 weeks before when our budget is stretched to the snapping point.

At this point I'm ready to throw up my hands and say forget him. I hate to do that cause he's such a good guy and I really want him in the BP but since he wanted until the last minute, what else am I supposed to do? I guess on the up side, if he does back out it'll even up the sides again....

achiduck

Ugh, sorry you're going through this.

DaisyDollJ

I'm sorry to hear that this is your dilemma, sadly...my dilemma is similar. There's only two weeks left before our wedding and last week we had to pay the deposit for one of our groomsmen who still hadn't paid and I fear we are going to have to cover the total cost. 

I have one bridesmaid who is just now getting her dress altered. We are gifting our flower-girl's dress but it took constant nagging to get her size, it was ordered last week when I explained to her mother that I was going to have to drop her and allow another girl to do it. 

The saddest part of all this...when we were going to down size our wedding party the very ones who are dragging their feet are the ones who were bent out of shape at the thought of being cut. They don't help and allow everyone else to step in and cover their part and yet they voice their concerns and complain every chance that they get. grrr!!!  

LoriMc12

I have read about so many problems similar to yours and I just don't get it!  How inconsiderate are these people who agreed to be in your wedding and then can't take the responsibility to save money, ask for the time off, get fitted for the tux, order the dress?? If they don't think they can do these things they should never have agreed to be in the wedding.  I know this doesn't help you now but I just can't believe how many stories are similar to this.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this so close to your wedding.  You have enough to worry about without having to check on your WP to make sure they are doing what they agreed to do!

RockstarWifey0912

Similar boat here.  We are paying for the GM tux rentals.  I had both guys paid for back in June, but had to pull one of them to pay a different bill.  I told the rep I'd be back to pay it, and if the GM came in, just take his measurements and call me.  I didn't want to pay again if he didn't show up.  Well, our deadline is the 28th and every time he says he's going, he hasn't gone!  FI and I both are frustrated because this guy was out of work for a month and STILL flaked on them hanging out for Non-Wedding events.  Grrr.

Sorry you're having to deal with this!

Ividian

I'm sorry all of you are having such issues with your WP!! I am so grateful that we don't have one, it has made things SO much easier on me/us. Good luck everybody!!

ericaandtom2012

Ugh, I'm sorry your WP is being difficult.  This reminds me that I need to double check that my FI has given all of his GM the group number so that they order their tuxes.  I think the final day to do ours is coming up fast. 

mercurybebe

I can totally relate.  My best friend moved to NJ last year but I asked her to be my Best Man (our BP is all gender-mixed) and her son to be my ringbearer.  She said yes.  In JANUARY.

We knew she has had money issues and even offered to buy her son's tux...but she had them both fitted and didn't bring it up again.

Anyway...in July we decided we wanted our kids to be our BM and MOH (they are both 13) in name, but that my friend and my sister (prior MOH) would still have the B-Party responsibility, etc.  We told them we didn't want a bridal shower, so dont worry.

In August, my sister and friend are chatting and ask if either 1st weekend of Sept or Oct is best for us for B-party (its a combined one).  Everyone says Oct, and since friend is coming from NJ, it was largely based on her. 

So the B-party is Oct 6 and we even schedule the rehearsal for the same day so that no one has to travel twice (the venue didn't have an opening the night before...) and it is convienent.  Yesterday she tells me she can't make it.  She can't get the time off work.  WHAT???????????

You were off last weekend AND this weekend....you picked the damn date....and you are my supposed BM, not to mention, her 6yr old son is the RB and needs to practice.

I am so hurt, disappointed and just pissed.  She hasn't been part of ANYTHING having to do with the wedding, which I've excused because she lives 3hrs away (although she has been up here a few times) and I just got done wrapping $70 worth of gifts for her (and another $50 for her son, but none of this is his fault)...for doing NOTHING.  Not even showing up at the B-party/Rehearsal.  If the gifts weren't already personalized, I'd return them! 

And then I have a friend who has gone above and beyond and isn't even in wedding party!
She is an honorary member and we got her gifts to thank her for everything.

I'm just pissed.  I dont know if she paid for the Tuxes for her and her son or not...if she still expects me to pay for her son's I might lose it altogether.