Bad Timing?

lv2011

FI had an interview today for a job within his company that's almost an hour away. I'm happy for him, but really scared about the timing. We're 23 days away from the wedding. My daughter is really settled in her present school and doing awesomely- moving her an hour away would create major issues with her dad, and therefore not an option. We were already house hunting here and had seen 2 that we really liked. I'm so worried that he'll get this job and we'll have to buy a house, move, and get married all at the same time.

FI thinks it'll be fine. He wants to just buy a house that's in between were we currently live and where he'll work, and everyone will just commute. My daughter goes to a private school so we're not restricted in that sense by school district, but driving a half hour to get her to school in the morning could be a major issue. The gas costs alone are scary.

I'm really trying not to panic right now. Afterall, we don't even know if he'll get it. But I have this sneaky suspicion he will (which would be good) and I just feel it's too much to handle right now.

Thoughts? Advice? Is everyone commuting a 30-45 minutes too much?

Please help me calm down!

achiduck

I'm not a parent, so my only advice is to breathe and not panic until you know if he has the job or not.

mana8503

I commute 30 mins and it's not bad you get used to it.  I was an hour commute when I started, so 30 mins is a dream.  Is the school near your work?  I have a Jeep Compass (I say I get 20MPG) and gas is about $200/250 a month for me if that helps. 

julie279

I agree that 30 to 45 min is not a bad commute.  For my last job I commuted about an hour for about 5 months before moving closer, but my commute was still about 35 mins.  Now I am looking for a new job, and due to our preferred location of living and where most of the jobs I've been getting interviews for seem to be, my commute will most likely be 35 to 45 min.

thale0924

I'm not a parent, but I did have divorced parents and days when I stayed with my dad our commute was 30/45 minutes with NO traffic.  It was actually a great bonding time between my dad and I! In that car ride, we talked about everything!! And if my grades weren't great or bball wasn't going as well he had that whole ride to talk at me and I couldn't do anything but listen! haha the only problem was I didn't really hang out with friends, just my dad and our dog!

When I got older and could drive myself it wasn't even that bad!  Although, as I got into my junior/senior year I wanted to play more sports/be involved in hs things so I ended up moving fully into my mom's house to be close to school.  I don't know how old your daughter is...but it's doable and not that bad!

As for your stress...DEEP BREATHS!  If it's really a good thing then you'll make it work.

NRod70

As long as your daughter can go to the same school (I have kids, I know its a really big deal), I  would not worry.  A 30 minute commute is not bad at all, FI has a 20 minute commute now, which doesn't sound too bad to most, but when you have a gas guzzler, it makes a huge difference.  My one piece of advice is, make sure you have a car that gets really good gas mileage.

Don't get stressed about something that may or may not happen...take it one step at a time.  Everything will fall into place!  Good luck with everything!!

bbair89

I'm in a similar situation. I'm supposed to start a new teaching job either next week or the week after, which is only one or two weeks before the wedding (depending on when I start) EEEk. Then of course I'll be gone for a week for our honeymoon. It seems so overwhelming finishing up the planning, getting marrried, preparing for and starting a new job (which involves so so much. Collecting curriculum materials, planning lessons, contacting parents, setting up my room...so much stuff!) all at the same time.

We just need to try to stay calm and hope that everything works out for the best.

ivedonethisb4

Fi and I both commute about 25 mins one way to and from work in the opposite direction. It sucks to commute but living in a small town you have to. WalMart is 30 mins and the mall is an hour. You get use to it....that's all I can say. Fi at least gets to carpool with a coworker that lives in the same town we do. They alternate driving.

lv2011

Thanks, ladies. I guess if it's meant to be, it will. I talked to my daughter about it a bit on the way home today, asking her how she'd feel about a longer drive and being pretty much out in the country (it's very rural around here). She got super excited and asked if she'd be able to practice archery. God bless Hunger Games obsessed 9 yr old girls I don't think she quite understands how much harder it'll be to make time for friends or to do sports/ extracurriculars. But, I'll take the enthusiasm she has.

But, you are all right- no sense stressing about what hasn't happened yet. I'm just a worrier who always likes to have a plan in place.

violakat03

I commute 20 minutes to work, but the school I take classes at twice a week is an hour away. FI teaches on two different campuses, one 5 mintues away and one an hour away. This is not the first time either of us have had hour-long commutes. You really get used to it. It gives you time to relax and think and listen to music. I have a bluetooth-enabled radio, so I can connect my phone through it and that's when I do most of my 'catching up" conversations with family and friends. When FI and I worked at the same place and it was an hour commute together, it was incredibly pleasant because we spent the whole time chatting.

I drive a very fuel-efficient car (a Saturn that gets 34 mpg) so my gas costs aren't that bad, but FI drives a Mustang GT so his can get pricey.

catwine

I grew up ina  rural area so I always had to drive at least 30 mins to get to school, work, etc.  Can your daughter be bussed to her school?  I lived in the country but in a small subdivision on an acre lot. we got to know our neighbors and has kids to play with.

annanoel21

I drive 30 mins to school then 45 mins from school to work then 30 mins from work to home. I average 100 miles a day.

geieran

I grew up in a very rural area so I have always had at least 30 minutes to drive to get anywhere. My current commute is 40-45 minutes. It's not a big deal to me. I actually like it. It gives me some alone time and I can jam to some good tunes. :-) And as another poster mentioned, it gives some catching up time when you ride with a loved one. My F and I work at the same place so sometimes we get to ride together. That gives us some good time to talk in our busy lives. 

I have to admit that it may take some time to get used to it for you. My F has recently moved out to where I live after living in town for over 10 years and it's taking him some time to get used to it.