October 2012 Weddings

Excuse me while I growl here...

We are having beer, wine and a spike lemonade at our wedding reception. We made the decision to do a limited bar for financial reasons. Family has been aware of this decision for some time.

Then I get a text from FI with... would you care if my sister brings a couple of bottles of whiskey to the wedding reception? My response to this was if she wants to bring a different  type of alcohol to please bring it for the rehearsal or one of our other events (weekend wedding, numerous gatherings). This is then followed up with, she's not going to be happy but I'll tell her and you know my father is bringing vodka to the wedding right?

I'm pissed. This isn't a backyard bbq. Its our wedding. I have no problem with people drinking or drinking other things that they've supplied themselves at any of the other events but I don't think its fair to all of our other guests that some individuals are walking around with special drinks at the reception. And I'm sure as hell not announcing a general BYOB for my wedding reception!

So now I get well with my father giving us money for the wedding I don't feel comfortable telling him no. To be fair, he did give us 5K toward the wedding. To also be fair he told us upfront it was our wedding gift, essentially in advance. Which was HUGELY appreciated.  And we've told him that many times. But I still don't want him walking around with a bottle of grey goose when the bar only has beer & wine.

ARGH. So now because FI has no backbone when it comes to his father I get to pick up the phone and make that call.  I'm so over wedding crap its not even funny.

Wedding Countdown Ticker
October 13, 2012

Re: Excuse me while I growl here...

  • Does the venue even allow outside alcohol?
  • Our venue is a vineyard that we have rented for the entire weekend. And we are supplying all the alcohol for the wedding so techinically yes, we can bring it whatever we want.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    October 13, 2012
  • Not cool.  If they have such an issue with the alcohol being offered they have 2 options.  1. Offer to pay for an upgraded bar or 2, the far better choice, wait until after the wedding and hit up a bar where they have all options.

    I think it's pretty crappy they're telling you they are doing this.  I'm sorry.  :(
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  • I think you need to stick to your guns and discuss it more with your FI.  You need him on your side.  Either his dad needs to pay for a bar with vodka, or he needs to be happy with your drink (any chance that the lemonade is spiked with vodka??!!)  My brother has told me that his GF will only drink crown and coke, and I told him there is a good chance that we are only doing beer and wine.  I said I wouldn't feel comfortable with him sneaking a bottle in, so she will have to "man" up and drink beer.

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  • Boo!! Not cool! If they want special drinks, they can pay for the open bar themselves! 
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  • How much hard liquor do you think you would need, make an itemized list and tell them they have to bring that amount if they want other types of alcohol
  • I know I posted above but I was thinking about this while in the shower, where I do my best thinking, and honestly people are going to do what they want. We like to think we have control but we don't. Also people are going to get their feelings hurt, they are going to complain about us and the wedding, what we did, what we didn't do, the food, who wasn't invited who was, the dress, you get the picture. I would just say I would rather you didn't and then just let it go. If they bring it you might not even know anyway because you are so busy!
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