QOTD 4/18

minionlover

Are you planning on writing your own vows?

mana8503

FI keeps saying he wants to, I keep reminding him we will be nervous enough without that pressure!

So I will say, no we are not writing our own vows...

CFM102012

In an evening of inspiration, I already have. I told FI that sometime in the next 6 months he'll need to do it.  He said he might just wing it.  I'd be more nervous about that but I've seen him give two really good Best Man toasts without anything written down.

Rhea0106

I asked my fiance if we're writing our own vows and he said "sure if you write mine for me" So, no we're not writing our own vows. To be perfectly honest, I am okay with this. lol I'm probably gonna stumble and mess up whatever my Pastor has me repeating anyway. lol

pockysquirrel

I hadn't thought we would, because I didn't think FI would want to. Then he surprised me and said that he would, so...I guess we are?

Simply_Caitlin

No my fiance told me no way.  It's probably better that way though, I'll likely be more nervous than I'm anticipating hehe.

achiduck

We're writing them on our own, but taking inspiration from more "traditional" vows. According to my pastor we have to have promisies we make to each other and a statement about the finality of the marriage. Ie. "until we are parted by death."

aimee58

We're going old school. We're not writing our own vows. Really, as far as the mushy gushy stuff goes, FI is not very vocal. He's more about showing love through writing or actions, not saying it out loud, much less with 200+ people looking at him.

cbear215

My FI's cousin is marrying us...where we are getting married anyone can apply to have the authority to perform a civil ceremony for one day.  Since she has no background marrying anyone, we are writing the whole ceremony ourselves.  So in a way, we are, but not in the typical sort of I write mine he writes his and it's a surprise at the ceremony sort of way.

lehc723

Yes, but we're going to write something together that we each say, along the lines of the traditional vows.

BrittneyRN

No, we are definitely not. I am not an overly emotional person, so I don't really want to explain to FI how much I love him in front of 200 people. I want a very short ceremony.

getintheboxx

We are having a Catholic ceremony and I don't know if we are allowed to or not (that sounds really bad because I should know that, I would ask on the catholic board but those girls are ridiculous).  I know we get to customize the ceremony regarding which readings we want read.  I'll have to talk to our Priest, he's pretty awesome, not strict on all the "catholic rules".  I would like to write our own but I'm not sure FI would be comfortable with it.

ktelizabeth86

Yes, we are. At first I think the idea freaked FI out, but now he's all for it. We aren't religious so we're having a civil ceremony and my Uncle is marrying us (he got ordained for us), so we had to write the whole ceremony anyway . . . 

fishinflagrl

My FI is like Aimee's. He is very shy, and for him to actually say the mushy stuff in front of 100+ guests is a little awkward...even for me. We are not much for PDA or mushy in front of family or friends...so even the kiss will be awkward!! haha

So, NO..we will not be writing our own. Going traditional on this one.

hllokttygirl

Nope. I cry over commercials, so I know I am going to be a crying mess. It will be bad enough to just hear the readings, so I think it's best we don't

mpjf1001

No- we are getting married in a Catholic church and from what I remember from my sister's wedding in the same church, you repeat what they tell you to say...

lv2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_qotd-418-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:22452e97-8544-4da6-9f88-18b805bccecbPost:d4bf473e-3351-4c27-8c87-2cb52193ce51">Re: QOTD 4/18</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having a Catholic ceremony and I don't know if we are allowed to or not (that sounds really bad because I should know that, I would ask on the catholic board but those girls are ridiculous).  I know we get to customize the ceremony regarding which readings we want read.  I'll have to talk to our Priest, he's pretty awesome, not strict on all the "catholic rules".  I would like to write our own but I'm not sure FI would be comfortable with it.
Posted by getintheboxx[/QUOTE]


When we were hoping we'd be able to have a Catholic wedding, we were told that there is no writing in of vows. Not that it matters because we like the traditional words, and we're not likely going to be able to marry in the church (long story). Maybe since your priest is pretty easy going, he can help sort of recraft the formal vows into something more contemporary and individual to you and your FI. But I wouldn't bet on it, sorry.

If we end up planning our own ceremony, FI's cousin and my uncle are both Methodist Christian ministers and we'd ideally have them co-officiate. I think we'd stick to the traditional vows, though. We like the history behind them, having been said by couples for generations. If we were to write our own, they would mimic the general format of the traditional vows. Neither of us feel that reiterating how much we love eachother and sharing a story is really making a "vow", but that's just our own personal view of it.

Poppy101212

Nope. I have minor dislexia, which seems to get worse when I"m nervous, and really don't want to add more stress.

emidle2008

We are writting our own vows and then following them with the traditional ones as well. I love the romantic idea of saying the same words that have untited so many people together, so I couldn't just throw them out. It's just another one of our "Traditions with a Twist".

Like CFM said, I had a stroke of inspiration one night and actually have mine written. I'm still playing around with some of the wording, but mine is done for the most part.

To help combat the nerves, FI and I will carry a copy in our pockets (LOVE the pockets on the dress). We will also give a copy to the officiant, in case he needs to feed them to us.

MicMikeM

No, we won't be writing our own vows.  I'm not even sure it's an option at the chapel we're being married at.

I think it's incredibly sweet but the combination of nerves and creative block would scare me - I'd be so afraid about screwing them up or not writing the perfect vows.  My inner critic would have a field day with it...

ivedonethisb4

I have no desire to write our own because with FI there's no telling what he may say...I just imagine him saying something very inappropriate for a Church.

lepoissonrouge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_qotd-418-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:22452e97-8544-4da6-9f88-18b805bccecbPost:066bd982-3fa2-42bc-a23d-71115dc213f6">Re: QOTD 4/18</a>:
[QUOTE]No, we are definitely not. I am not an overly emotional person, so I don't really want to explain to FI how much I love him in front of 200 people. I want a very short ceremony.
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]

This exactly. I have no desire to write anything of my own to say in front of hundreds of people, and I know that FI will just embarrass me (not in a bad way... I feel like that could easily be taken wrong). It will still be special if we use the traditional vows.

snuff9861

We are not. But then again, I think the vows in a Catholic ceremony are pretty enough.