A little overwhelmed

LDubHawksFan

I'm in a place right now where I am just a little unsure of what I really want for the wedding.  I wonder if I've started going down a road where the glitz and glam of the reception and details have overshadowed what is really important about the day.  I am completely stressed out by all of the small things left to do, but ultimately if they don't get done, we could still get married!  I'm also getting really sick of the wedding industry.  How a golf course can charge $70/per person for a meal is ridiculous!  Our DJ friend said he could "get us a discount" and a few weeks ago said the owner said there would be no fee for the extra fish dish (I took this to mean waving the extra $6/person fee to have a second entree option).  Great!  Yesterday I heard back from the venue and she said that fee was still there.  I shouldn't have counted on our friend's "deal" but I'm just sick of the back and forth with this place.  I'm stressed because I am just ready to pull the trigger on ordering our invites, but can't bring myself to pay soooo much for one meal.
Anyway, sorry for the vent.   Is it Oct 21st yet??

Alisha9544

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the venue.  I'd be outraged at $70 a head, I don't even know how they could really justify that.  Maybe talk to your DJ friend & see what gives.  Hopefully he can get it straightened out for you.

shoebie

Take a breath and sit down with fi and talk about your budget. If you guys really do not want to spend that much per plate there are other options a back yard bbq a restaurants party room etc. Whats important is that your happy that day.

achiduck

I hear you. There was a rerun of SYTTD on yesterday where the bride was eloping the next day and then going to Paris for their honeymoon and all I could think was "why didn't I do that?"

minionlover

Everything will work out fine.  Like PP said, sit and take a look at the budget and see what you really need and want you really don't need and go from there. 

Stina2012

Dude, I just read about a farm to table dinner place and all I could think was why didn't I do that! I'm in NoVA/DC and $70/plate is cheap! Most places around here are $100-$150 if that makes you feel any better!

I'm a big list maker. Would it help to make a list of your priorities and focues your money there? For example, I really cared about good food, open bar, hotel location (with bar..we're drunks!), invitation quality, photographer and mobility for my grandma. Some of those things are $ related and others are not but knowing what I cared about helped me focus my budget to those places. I've also found that all the "little" details add up time and money I don't have, so we don't have tons of those

LDubHawksFan

I guess I should say, that I am not worried about money per say.  We can afford the $70 a plate option, and have it in our budget.  I guess I've always been a little more thrifty than my FI, so I'm having a gut check of, are people even going to care about the meal?!  Plus, FI doesn't care about any details so I'm just wondering when did I start to?  I know the day will be beautiful and whether I continue to diy a bunch of things or not, it will be great.  However, I feel like I need to get a little balanced again because whether I'm doing something for the wedding or not, it's always going on in the back of my mind.
I guess when I heard back from the venue, I just got frustrated because it just seems like I keep getting jerked around, and I think that is true of a lot of wedding vendors.  Example: the only outside caterer allowed at our venue kept trying to tell me that the fee the GC charges is $4000 total, but the GC said, no that is on top of the rental fee.  I'm just getting a little burnt out on all the back and forth.  I probably shouldn't have assumed our friend could have gotten us any sort of deal, but it just sucks getting your hopes up.

[Deleted User]

I would do a little research and see what other places are out there. I was lucky enough to find an indoor venue after I freaked about being outside. I think that if you have a few options and hold them up against what you already have you can make the right decision.

fishinflagrl

Awwww, dont be overwhelmed. You are just analyzing the goals of your wedding, which is completely logical. Sometimes it is good to step back and look at your goals and budget for the wedding and what is most important to you, and that is what you are doing.

$70 a plate is just ridiculous, but since the "wedding" word is there, they can upcharge. I cant believe how much makeup is for me and my girls are getting the same thing and so much cheaper...just b/c I said I was a bride. Oy vey!!

kimm260

I think everyone can understand about the stress of paying for the wedding and all the little details that go with it.

Can you step away from it all for a little bit?  Maybe just a couple of days to clear your head about it.  If not a couple of days, can you your FI go out and do something fun and completely unwedding related and not talk about all of the little things.  I think this will help you.