:o( In a pickle

shoebie

My brother decided last week that he is separating from his wife and it is being done in a very cold abrupt way. Him, his wife, and my 2 nieces are planned to be in the wedding and are all aware of thier positions. I have no idea what to do now. His in laws and sister in law have already attended our e party and have std's for our reception.... the original plan was for him and his wife to pull my youngest niece down the aisle in a wagon she is my ring princess.... umm yea thats not going to happen now but im so lost on what to do from here on out. My brother is very close to me and I dont want him to feel un comfortable or feel not welcomed because of her family, he has already stepped down as he has a lot on his plate and i completly understand, do I ask my sister in law not to be in the bridal party now ? Do I not invite his inlaws now ( i dont talk to them outside of him and have never been invited to their family functions that dont involve my nieces) someone please lend some advice im going crazy. 

CFM102012

I'm sorry, that sucks.  You should still invite them but you can probably put them in the "likely to decline" pile.  Same with your SIL, don't ask her to step down but don't be surprised when she (probably) does on her own.  Just as it would be awkward for your brother for them to be there, they'd probably also feel awkward.  If they do happen to accept, trust that they and your brother are all adults and will be able to behave as such.  If they don't it'll look bad on them not you, I'm sure someone at your venue would be able to ask them to leave.  You might give a heads up to whomever is in charge at your venue that there is a potentially awkward situation.

Chick&Guy

Agree with PP

Also since the wedding isnt until October you may not have to worry about this, it could all work itself out.  The SIL will probably step down when everything settles and when that happens her parents probably wont attend.  It seems like it just happened recently, try not to worry about it to much.

shoebie

Apparently its been going on for a year and he just has not told any one it was this bad he just moved out last week ( I never saw this coming my wedding aside they seemd so happy like the perfect family breaks my heart it has completly blind sided both families and my sister in law I just dont want our wedding to cause any additional stress to it all the bridesmaids are going on the 26th for their dresses I guess ill see then if shes still coming or not

minionlover

I think that you should wait a little bit to feel out the situation.  Like PP's said, she may just step down.  Have you ordered the dresses yet?  If you haven't that will probably be the time that she takes herself out of the WP. 

As for the invites, that's tough.  Honestly, and I know this is completely against etiquitte, I would probably again wait and see how things go and if it is a bitter type of break-up and my brother was unconfortable with the thought of having his ex-in laws there, I wouldn't send them invites.

shoebie

Yes this is a completly bitter break up my brother gave her no heads up anything was wrong stayed silently miserable for over a year apparently had a second child with her and now walked out on them ( I dont see how he can do that but hes still my brother thanks ladies

trawas01

Ouch.

I'd give it time before making any changes. Invite them as planned (though you might want to run that by your brother first). While your sister in law may step down I'm sure you brother will still bring your nieces and have them included in you ceremony.

Shasta0610

Yikes that is quite a pickle.  I agree with everyone's advice thus far-- just let it settle out a little before you make any decisions.  Odds are, your SIL will excuse herself from the wedding party, but she probably just hasn't even gotten to that point in processing this whole thing yet.  As far as your brother's in-laws are concerned, I'd just defer to him as far as what he's comfortable with.  I highly doubt his in-laws would attend the wedding in this case, especially since you were never close with them and it doesn't sound as though this split will be particularly amicable.  

fishinflagrl

OMG, that stinks!! What a pickle!! I think you should wait it out for a while. I think your SIL will end up having too much on her plate, and if she isnt going to be at the wedding the others will not attend. You already sent them a  STD so its hard not to invite them. Wow, what a horrible and tough situation!! I hate to say it, but I hope they decline for your sake so you dont have to ask. Good luck lady!

shoebie

yea shitty situation I talked to her this am and as we where getting onff the phone she said ill see you next sunday (which is dress shoping day for the bridesmaids) oi guess im just going to wait and see theres nothing else to do