First Future In Laws drama....

Ividian

So I don't know when my shower is, but I provided a list of names and addresses to my sister and mother who are throwing my shower (i know, etiquette nono...) and told them which people I felt like should definitely be invited, not knowing where they were doing it and therefore how many people they could invite. So today my sister tells me my FSIL sent her a note on FB saying that two female cousins didn't receive invites.

Now I don't think FSIL is trying to be a pain, she's a nice person, and the truth is that my FI hasn't seen these people in over 5 years, and I have NEVER met them, and my sister just confirmed that there is only so many people they could invite so these cousins didn't get one. My sister replied to her that they received an invite list from my FI and I and invited from that. I think this was a good response, but do you think I was wrong to not ask my sister and mother to invite all of his female cousins even though I haven't met them all and they are not at all close with my FI?

and on a completely unrelated note, I just found out that my underage cousin was drinking alcohol at my sister's wedding about two years ago, and chances are his parents are the ones that bought him the alcohol. If I see that at my wedding do you think I should say something or ignore it?

Alisha9544

My MoH wanted a list of every female invited to the wedding.  I personally find this silly so I broke the list down into people I know & people I don't know.  I don't think its wrong that relatives you've never met & your FI isn't close to weren't invited.  As for the under-aged drinking yeah I'd say something.  Chances are since you're hosting the party if anyone got busted it could end up on you.   They shouldn't be buying their minor alcohol in my opinion.

lehc723

I had pretty much the same thing happen with my FMIL and FSIL and my shower. I don't think you were in the wrong, but I'm in your shoes on this one, ha. I know my FMIL and FSIL think I was very rude to not invite every woman who is going to the wedding to my shower. Whatever.

Ividian

My mother and sister are on my side on this one, and as they pointed out to me, only so much space at my parent's house, which is where the shower is. Not to mention, not all of my female relatives have been invited either, and we're a fairly close family unlike FI's. So I'm not letting it worry me too much, I just wanted to know if I was in the minority. THanks!

shoebie

My sister has my knot.com id and password and uses it often for forum help and just went in my guest list for all the addresses, I know when and where and who is coming because she made a guest list under my tools to use the rsvp feature lol. 

As for the under age drinking that's between the parents and the venue dont let it become your problem. Under age drinking at a wedding is nothing new. 

Stina2012

Personally, I'd ignore both things.

If FSIL or FMIL bring up the cousins just state that your hostesses invited the number of guests they could accomodate. Totaly bad on your FSIL to ask your sister.

As for the underage drinking, if your wedding is at a venue then it is totally on the venue. If your aunt/uncle sneak booze in then it is on them. I think you have more important things to worry about that day than a drunk younger family member!