Little Bit Frustrated... need to vent

rockin2thebeats

First off to all the October Brides - Yah we're only a few months away!!!

Now I need some advice, and I need to vent.

I have a girl that I have been friends with since 6th grade. When I first got engaged, I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. She said yes and we started talking dresses. Well then she backed out of it. I asked her why and she said she just wasn't comfortable in dresses and make-up. Mind you I'm letting my girls pick their own dresses (as long as it's clover green) and shoes (must be silver) and have their make-up done however they want. So I went on the hunt for another bridesmaid. After a few months, my original girl said she wanted to be in my wedding and that she was just having body issues. Yah!!!

Well here we are now 3 months away. My MOH (my sister) has her dress ordered, in and fits perfectly. I contacted my other two bridesmaids. My friend from college won't be able to get her dress until Aug so I'm a little frazzeled there.

Then my friend since 6th grade out of the blue says she feels stupid for going dress shopping because we're "not even friends".
This is where I'm like "What?" I thought she was one of my best friends. Her reasoning is that we don't ever talk anymore (granted we haven't had coffee and conversation but we've talked/texted/facebook like everyday) and that she feels like I'm only being a friend to her so she'll be a bridesmaid. She then sends me a book long text message saying that I never hang out with here (we were just hanging out at my graduation party) and that I bail on her for any plans we make. We haven't made any plans for June because I had to take my baby sister up and drop her off at college, I graduated from College and then my FI and I had planned a weekend get away to Kings Island. Her and I work opposite schedules during the week, I'm 9AM to 5PM and she's 4PM to 1AM. The weekends were all we had. I'm hurt and frustrated because the bridesmaids gifts have already been ordered, the programs made and the invites sent. I think if I give her some time she'll come around but part of me is worried she won't. Also should I start looking for another bridesmaid? All my close friends know that she was supposed to be in the wedding. An what if I find another bridesmaid and then she changes her mind again? Should I just say forget it and have my MOH and 1 Bridesmaid (FI has his BM and 2 GM). I just really don't know what to say or do here. An at this point in time I ready to say "forget it" But I know someone from FI's side will complain.

achiduck

I wouldn't find another bridesmaid, it makes people feel second string that they weren't originally asked with everyone else.

Honestly, it sounds like she doesn't want to be friends anymore. If you really do want to maintain the friendship I would suggest having a face to face conversation since meanings/tone of voice, etc is often lost over e-mail/text and explain how you feel and why you believe you are friends.

Good luck!

BrittneyRN

Yes, please do not replace her. Wedding parties don't have to be even, and it'll make the other girl feel like she wasn't good enough to be in the WP in the first place-which technically she wasn't. Just sit down and talk to her. If she bows out, it's no big deal with the programs. People don't pay that much attention to them anyway.

[Deleted User]

I'd say cut yourself some slack and forget about it.  Either she changes her mind or she doesn't, but don't make extra work for yourself.  There is plenty else to worry about right now ; )  If she is this fickle anyhow, maybe the day will be less stressful without her?  Just a thought.

SteveAndSara2005

I agree with the girls above, don't replace. One of my BMs from High school is like that with me, but not as bed. She gives me grief for not hanging out as much as we used to, but I go to school everyday from 8 to 5 and work weekends and have wedding stuff and a baby (aka no time) But she just has self esteem issues and it sounds like your friend is the same way.