Monday Vents/Confessions...Anyone else?

trawas01

Please allow me to vent for a moment.

FI and I live 600 miles from our families. Both our families (as well as extended) all live in NJ which for those who don't know is relatively small (no one is really more then a 2 hour ride from one another).

Welp bridesmaids started planning my bridal shower. Gameplan is for FI to plan his bachelor party the same weekend to decrease necessary travel time for us. Due to the travel involved they had no choice but to get in touch with me over dates, which turned into a nightmare.

- My FI is a cop, he gets two weekends off a month so that right there swipes half the weekends from July - Early Sept out.

- One of my bridesmaids shower is in July on one of FI's off dates. Thats gone, along with the following weekend as we can't afford to travel back to back weekends. Goodbye July.

- Early september, previously mentioned bridesmaid is getting married. Obviously that weekend is out.

- August, last weekend, above bridesmaid says is too close to her wedding, she can't handle it.

- Weekend before that my MOH is on the West Coast for business. First weekend I'm at a conference in Maryland.

- We finally figure out that the 2nd weekend in August is literally the ONLY one that will work. Fine. Its a PITA since I'm traveling the weekend before but whatever, we'll make it work.

- FI calls his folks to tell them. They have a two week vacation planned in Delaware, about 2 hours from my folks house where the shower will be, and they just can't imagine traveling up for it. Sorry we won't be there. Awesome.

Its only a shower. I know this. But I busted my ass planning their daughter's shower less then a year ago after they decided she didn't need one. Now they can't be bothered to travel for mine? And while annoyed, I'm also hurt, I just feel like supposedly I'm going to be your daughter in law, it'd be nice if you'd be there and care, just a little. I can also see the sh*t storm that my side of the family will start if this doesn't change.

I minorly freaked out last night. I'm so tired of all this nonesense.

 I wish we had just eloped.


So anyone else want to get anything wedding related or not off their chests this lovely monday?

CFM102012

Oh, god...I so need to get this off my chest.  FI is from the Pittsburgh area.  Our wedding is in west central Ohio, in the church I grew up in.  We chose this because, while FI was raised Catholic he doesn't practice and I haven't found a church closeby that I like.  FI's only request reguarding the ceremony was that it be in a church.  He didn't care which one but that part of his Catholic upbringing has hung on.  It doesn't make sense to me to just find a church we have no ties to for the sole purpose of getting married. So, my church it is.  It caused a minor sh*tstorm when we told his mom and sis because "it's so far away".  It's only a little over an hour more to drive there than it is to drive here.

   Since FI does have some family that legitimately cannot make the drive, FMIL suggested a little celebratory lunch in Pittsburgh after the wedding.  It is turning into a lunch for the people who can't make the drive and anyone else who just doesn't want to.  FI and I are now pretty certain that the only people from his side to represent the family will be FMIL, FSIL, an aunt and a cousin. When I mentioned this to FSIL she said that's the reality and consquesnce of choosing to get married where we did.  Meanwhile almost my whole family is flying to Texas next week for my sister's wedding.  FI's family is complaining about a 5ish hour drive, try a 5-6 hour flight people.

    I initally told her fine, as long as I know who because they still need to be invited to the wedding.  Now, just so "people aren't getting two pieces of mail" she wants to either include an invitation to the Pittsburgh party (I refuse to call it a reception as the reception is directly after the wedding) in the wedding invitation or get a big enough envelope so she can just put the wedding invites in with the party invite, which is morel likely due to the design of our invitations.  At some point I'm going to snap at her and then she'll go all drama llama about how I didn't want the Pittsburgh thing anyway.  Gggrrrrr

NRod70

Well, nothing similar to your dilemma...I just want to kill my mother.  Period.   Grrrrrrr.  She's complaing to everyone and anyone who will listen of how she's not involved at all and how I don't tell her anything about the planning.  She's not contributing one cent at all, which I never expected anyway, so I do not feel the need to consult her on anything.  I have never had a good relationship with my mother to begin with. 

My daughter's grandmother is coming up (I'm in NJ) from Atlanta for the wedding and I have always had a good relationship with her, I even call her Mom, even though her son and I split up 19 years ago.  Well, my mother actually made a comment to both of my sisters, and I quote (spoken very dramatically), "...I guess she is coming to the wedding.  I wonder who will be getting all the attention for mother of the bride".  Are you freakin' kidding me???!!!  That's what this is all about to her...a party where she thinks she is going to get all the attention. Helloooo, its MY wedding!!  

Ok, I feel much better now. Ahhhh, this is good therapy!!  Good luck to you ladies and here's to hoping for a drama-free wedding!!  

Now I need a cocktail.... 

aimee58

Most recent frustration/vent.....people who FB every little detail of their lives!! I like to keep up to date on things of FB, but I do not need to know what you ate for lunch, how many diapers you changed yesterday, how horribly you slept last night, etc.

I have one person on my FB who is really into fitness, which is great. But he constantly posts these pictures warning us all about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup and how no one should be making excuses for not working out blah blah blah. I don't go on FB to get a guilt trip.

I also have someone who 'shares' every little quote or article that they ever read. Occassionally is one thing, but this is like 10 posts a day!

I've gotten to blocking people and whatnot, but it's hard to do that with people that I see everyday. I can usually handle it, or I just stay away from FB, but it's been getting ridiculous lately!!

CFM102012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_monday-ventsconfessionsanyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:48646fdb-d093-46a4-8afc-60f49e8dfddaPost:0addf86e-4e0f-4e37-8898-db81811f21d2">Re: Monday Vents/Confessions...Anyone else?</a>:
[QUOTE]Most recent frustration/vent.....people who FB every little detail of their lives!! I like to keep up to date on things of FB, but I do not need to know what you ate for lunch, how many diapers you changed yesterday, how horribly you slept last night, etc. I have one person on my FB who is really into fitness, which is great. But he constantly posts these pictures warning us all about the dangers of high fructose corn syrup and how no one should be making excuses for not working out blah blah blah. I don't go on FB to get a guilt trip. I also have someone who 'shares' every little quote or article that they ever read. Occassionally is one thing, but this is like 10 posts a day! I've gotten to blocking people and whatnot, but it's hard to do that with people that I see everyday. I can usually handle it, or I just stay away from FB, but it's been getting ridiculous lately!!
Posted by aimee58[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I have a couple friends (they're married but geographically separated due to her work) who post like 10 pics/status updates/links etc a day and everytime they do so, it pops up in my notifications thingy.  I have no idea how to stop it from doing that. It doesn't do it with anyone else, just these two. For everyone else its the normal notifications (comments, likes, etc).

</div>

ktelizabeth86

I think you can block people's posts without blocking/deleting the actual person . . . I need to figure this out too.

NRod70

I have one ''friend'' who posts every single thing she does allllll day long.  When she's not posting that, she's posting political things, pro-life and how vaccines cause autism.  I want to delete her so badly, but she's in our little circle of friends and I just can't bring myself to do it.  Ugh.

Oh well, let me go log onto FB now and she what she had for lunch.

huskerfan246

I agree with the PP on the FB postings, there is a lot of things posted from people on my list that I don't care for, but one in particular, she constantly post pictures of her taking pictures of herself in the mirror and then posts these silly status's like she is in highschool (she is in her 30's) and has about 10-15 posts within an hour or two about what kind of alcohol she is drinking and how messed up she is or going to be. Its her life and she can do what she wants, but I don't think everyone needs a play-by-play of her daily activities.  Just one example of an annoying friend on FB.

cokie216

Yeah you can totally block people's posts or limit them from showing up in your news feed.  Just hover your mouse to the right of the update and it says "edit subscription to..." and you have a couple options.  I have done this for MANY people and I feel like my FB life is less stressed

violakat03

I hide posts from anyone who only posts political, religious, conspiracy theory, game request, or dramatic posts. That way they don't get all "OMG why did you unfriend me?!" dramatic because they have no idea I've hidden their posts, and I've gotten rid of all the crap on my news feed. If they ask me if I read their latest status, I just say "no, I didn't see it yet." So far, this system has worked perfectly!

The only thing I can't figure out is how to block ALL game requests from games I don't play. I get so sick of people sending me game requests from every random new Zynga game that comes out. They're even sending them via emails now!!  I don't play any FB games on a regular basis - I just don't have time. And I get sick of getting constant notifications and emails!

Anyway, now that we have all thoroughly derailed this topic into a rant about Facebook annoyances, here's my confessions for the day, mostly from this weekend:

FI and I have been fighting a lot more than normal. We want to move in August to eastern Tennessee very, very badly because he hates his current job and I've only got a part-time seasonal position, so we've decided we should pick up and move where we want to go while we have nothing holding us down. Because he's a teacher, he'll still get paychecks until the beginning of next school year, so even if he doesn't have a great-paying job when we first start out there, we'll still have income for a little while.

However, we're piling this on top of the wedding planning, and he is completely 150% freaked out over the thought of buying a house and likes to blame me for everything in the process. He still lives with his mom and seems to think that you have to be a millionaire to move out, let alone buy a house instead of rent. And he's really good at taking it out on me that there are costs and hurdles along the way, as if I'm the one putting them there. I've lived on my own (I'm in my third year of having my own apartment) and I know it can be a struggle but it's not as big a deal as he thinks it is and he acts like I'm downplaying how much it costs to live on your own. It's just kind of a stupid fight, and we've had it practically daily for the past two weeks. Eventually he realizes what he's doing and apologizes, then we have a nice productive discussion, but then he goes right back to it the next day! I kind of feel like at this rate, we're never going to have a place to live by the wedding!!

Another frustration - a good friend of mine is getting married this coming Saturday, and recently among our common friends it's like I can't even talk about my wedding. If I mention something I did for planning, or a DIY project, or .. ANYTHING involving my wedding, the reaction is "this is R's time. Yours is still a long way away, let her have her time." I'm not trying to compete with her, and she doesn't have a problem at all with it. In fact, she likes talking about my wedding because it takes her mind off how close hers is! We're even working on a DIY project together on Wednesday (bridesmaid hangers) since she wants help and I want to do the same project. But I get so sick of not being able to be excited over something because my wedding is "so far away" and hers isn't.

And as far as my little freakout time - yes, I had the "why didn't we just elope?" moment not that long ago. A few days ago, I made the mistake of looking at how much is "past due" on my TK checklist while I was talking to FI. There's some pretty big stuff on there (we don't have an officiant, for example) and it led to a bit of a meltdown. And I'll admit that I took stuff out on him that wasn't fair - he's been working 7 am to 7 pm, 5 days a week  and tends to tell me he'll take care of things that he promptly forgets about. I got on him about having to nag and never getting any help with stuff, and told him he needed to start thinking about tuxes. He then tossed out what he'd been thinking about, which I promptly shot down as wrong, and he pointed out that I wasn't being very fair (which I agree - I wasn't).

I liked his explanation of why guys don't plan weddings - the girl nags the guy to make a decision, guy makes a decision, girl shoots it down because it's wrong and replans everything guy planned, guy gives up and lets girl plan it, girl gets annoyed because guy isn't helping, girl nags guy to make a decision, and the viscious cycle repeats. So true! We laughed over that for a while and then discussed some things that we could make decisions on together and got me through the little freakout quite nicely!