Ceremony troubles

[Deleted User]

FI and I met with the pastor last week. We were supposed to fill out a sheet before the first session with our basic info and then a bunch of ceremony details. We were confused about the ceremony part because we thought those were things we were supposed to discuss with the pastor at the final session so we didn't fill that part out. He said to fill it out for the next session. Tonight is the next session and we don't have it filled out! We procrastinated a bit then we were gone for the weekend and then my grandma was put in the hospital and might not make it. I've filled a good chunk of it out myself but we still have no clue on our ceremony music or what scripture we want. The church gave us a list of suggested scriptures and I found one I like but FI and I haven't talked about it. For those of you with church weddings did you pick everything yourself or did you walk through it with the pastor before deciding?

ericaandtom2012

We haven't met with our pastor yet (they're really dragging their feet on this), but I imagine they'll give us options for acceptable readings (I think it's a list of 20 for each reading type), etc. and then we'll fill it out and turn it in.  For the ceremony music, I just sat down with my ceremony musician and she played a bunch of options for me for each of the different parts of the ceremony and I picked the ones that I liked. I would highly recommend hearing the music before choosing it for any part of your ceremony, especially if you can have your ceremony musician (if you have one) play it. 

catwine

i already knew what verse i wanted on my own and figured out ceremony music with my pianist.  we didn't get to the ceremony planning with the pastor because he resigned from the church (!!)...so i'm waiting to hear back from another pastor!  If you're having trouble filling in verses and stuff I'd say just be upfront with the pastor and ask what he recommends.

achiduck

We pretty much had our readings picked out. We weren't sure if we would be allowed a non-biblical reading so we brought it with us to our first meeting. She liked it and said as long as we picked out a biblical one as well it was fine. We picked one and showed it to her at the next meeting after that and she approved it.

Do you have any other meetings after this one? I'm sure your pastor will understand that you've been busy and especially with a sick family memeber. i would do your best to get as much done before the meeting as possible but if you can't do it all I wouldn't sweat it too much.

staycb01

our pastor went over everything with us at our last meeting. They provided all of our options to us and then we picked from them (verses, readings,prayers, etc) but we did pick out our own ceremony music which we downloaded from Itunes and then put them on a CD for our pastor to approve. I would tell your pastor that you would rather talk and fill out everything together as to how you want your ceremony since you are unsure and may have some questions. They should understand that!

amyelise25

Our reverand gave us suggestions for readings, but we found two others from the bible that aren't on her list. She was OK with this. We are having outside musicians coming to the church and I have been very open about the music we are choosing to make sure it was agreeable. I would bet that if the musician were a part of the church that they would only steer you towards music that was appropriate. She also gave us the wording for the whole ceremony and asked for changes. We are adjusting our vows a little (based on some wording I saw in a posting here actually) and will be adjusting the wording for when my parents give me away. Perhaps you could explain that you had an unexpected family emergency which affected you ability to do your 'homework'. Maybe you can talk it through together, but if you need more time to decide on things perhaps you can email or call soon after. Good luck

Simply_Caitlin

We picked out 95% of what goes into the ceremony.  The other 5% we got completely burned out on and asked out Priest to just pick for us.

I know that sounds terrible, but there were some parts that I didn't expect to have 40 prayers to choose from and I think the Priest would pick something fine.