Overwhelmed

MichelleK82

I haven't posted here before, but I thought that fellow 10/2012 brides might be the right people to vent/cry to. Sorry this is so long. So my FI and I have lived together since 2008, and we got engaged in July 2012, so I had over two years to save money, plan the wedding, etc. Everything was going so great and I had everything under control.

Then, on May 30 of this year, our house burned down. Our entire world was turned upside down. One of our pets passed away in the fire, and my mom, who lived on the other side of our double-block, lost a cat also. We were left with the clothes on our backs. My wedding dress was at my sister's (MOH) house so my fiance wouldn't see it, but other than that, we lost everything for the wedding (favors, invites, decorations). My FI, mom, and I went to stay with my sister and her husband, while we had what was left of our old home torn down, found and purchased a new home, and dealt with our homeowners insurance.

Needless to say, I got behind on my wedding checklists and tasks. Now, with 22 days left until our wedding, I feel totally overwhelmed. I am so excited to get married, but the wedding planning is not as exciting. My mom, sister, bridesmaid, and FI say we are doing ok with planning, and I guess we are, but now it's crunch time and I can't stop crying and feeling overwhelmed. I just needed to vent. Thanks!

achiduck

Breathe. Concentrate on one thing at a time rather then a huge list.

Alisha9544

Breathe, take a moment.  If you still feel like you need to cry then let it out honey.  Sometimes a good cry is needed.  Now get a pen & paper.  What are the most important things that still need done.  Not everything not the details.  The most important things.  Start there.  **hugs**

jessiflower

oh babe...I'm so sorry this has gone like this for you....breathe...meditate maybe...and cry...this too, shall pass.....you have a very bright spot of a day to look forward to....a new beginning...I agree with the other girls....make a list...the feeling of control will come back...let us know if you need us....were here for the next 3-5 weeks

Peledreamsofrain

I'm sorry you're going through this. First off, stop a moment to give yourself mad props. Not everyone has the fortitude to forge ahead after that kind of tragedy. Wedding planning is a monumental task, and it IS overwhelming. But just focus on one thing at a time, most important things first. They'll be done one by one, and you'll emerge the victor.

nitecheese

You are my hero. I've felt overwhelmed and haven't had to deal with a fraction of the headache (and heartache) that you've been given. I echo the other pp's statements. Breathe, slow down, scream and cry if necessary.  Repeat if necessary. Then, make a list of what you *must* have.  You have a dress, right? Awesome.  A wonderful FI? Done. A pastor or judge, with some guests, is all you need.

The next thing I would do would be delegate.  Scoop up everyone you can who is willing to help. Given the situation, I'm sure there are many who would step up for you.

Come back and vent anytime.  Good luck and good karma! 

MichelleK82

Thank you ladies. I appreciate your kind words and good advice. I will do my best to make a list and knock one thing off at a time. I think I need to stop looking at checklists that say I have 60+ things left to do! That's probably true for all of us.

marisolgarcia1

Take a deep breath. Wipe the tears get a piece of paper.  And everything you need to do write on a list. Then go through the list and put some time and dates of when you can get the items on the list by.  then Don't worry or think about getting things you done on things you cant control today.  Don't worry! 

CandiceAdam

List everything you think you need to do at this point, then go through and cut anything that you don't absolutly need. After that deligate, esp. if it is just catching up with vendors, your Fi should be able to help you with that.
If you have favors and things to put together plan a day with your mom and sister, order in some lunch and work on them. Try to make your tasks more fun if you can by spending time with people while you do them.

LDubHawksFan

From now on, when I get overwhelmed, I will be thinking of you and how you are pulling through planning a wedding with all of that tragedy!  I'm so sorry!

Start with a list of everything you think you need to do.  Prioritize those with "things you could not get married without" and those things that "If the wedding was today, we would still be able to get married".  Start to knock out one of the first list everyday.  For those things on the second list, if you get to them, great, if not, the day will still go on!  If you haven't chosen the entrance song for your WP, I guarentee the DJ can pick a song to amp up the crowd!  If you don't have favors, guests will be fine....or just go pick up a few bags of Hershey's Kisses and scatter them around the tables....done!  Good luck!!!

mmmendi

I agree - I am betting that it is hard as it is to know you did have those things. Rethink, and accept that it's ok not to have them on your wedding day. Favors, programs, whatever. I have no idea what weddnig items you lost, but this is the time to be selective in regards to your must-haves. I cannot imagine that kind of loss. I would still be raw from such an experience. Thank goodness for insurance, and the safety of you and FI.

EADenver

Oh my gosh we're all thinking of you!!! Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way. 

Such an incredibly tragic event like that really puts what matters in perspective! Hang in there and we're all here for support!

kimm260

I am so sorry for your loses!!  I agree with all the PP's-it is okay for you to cry, let it out and then move forward with a list.   Pick one or two things to do at a time that feel you would miss if they weren't there on your wedding day. Ask for help when you need it and take a break if you need to as well.  

NRod70

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_overwhelmed-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:4e6aa002-058a-4043-96bc-16f3c748d34fPost:5dcb6524-1844-4a21-8026-6f53343949bd">Re: Overwhelmed</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>From now on, when I get overwhelmed, I will be thinking of you and how you are pulling through planning a wedding with all of that tragedy!  I'm so sorry! </strong>
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Ditto!  Now I feel horrible about what was bothering me earlier!  It is nothing in comparison to what you must be going through right now.  Breathe deep...do one task at a time and accept all offers of help.</div>

Blambert01022010

So sorry your going through this! Stop, breathe and take one task at a time. Sending lots of love, hugs, & positive thoughts your way!