Will I regret this? Guest list/FILs vent.

lehc723

Ugh, so FMIL has been on FI's and my (mostly his) case about the guest list a LOT since the invites went out-- asking if we got a lot of No's, could we add so & so to "the B list" (not something we were doing), etc. It's super frustrating, because the guest list went to both sets of parents AGES ago to see if there was any outstanding issues, and she only raised one tiny one at that point. Where were all these other friends she HAD to invite then?!

Anyway, so FI was really, really down in the dumps about fighting with his mom so much lately, and while I don't like the idea of rewarding her bad behavior, this morning I pointed out that since his mom's table is a table of eight (of ten maximum), she could invite two more friends, but that was IT. It seemed to make FI feel a little better to at least be able to throw her a bone.

...But now I fear I'm opening the floodgates, ha. Gah! It's too late in the game for these kind of squabbles!

achiduck

If she continues to push reminder her that she was allowed to invite extra people and that doing so again makes her and you two look incredibly rude this close to the wedding. Maybe that will be incentive enough for her to shut up.

minionlover

I agree with Achi.  When is your RSVP date?  That will help your case in not sending out more invites.  You could also fib a little and say that you don't have anymore invites.

lehc723

I agree with you ladies, believe me. Right now, I think FMIL will be happy with inviting two via word of mouth, which I HATE and kills me, but you know, whatever. It might save the peace a little. Or I'll regret it, ha.

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_will-i-regret-this-guest-listfils-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:566ef887-be92-4819-8ee6-59c79b5c98f8Post:6ce7db21-090b-4177-b2ad-8c63ff8aca8d">Re: Will I regret this? Guest list/FILs vent.</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Achi.  When is your RSVP date?  That will help your case in not sending out more invites.  <strong>You could also fib a little and say that you don't have anymore invites.</strong>
Posted by Cathyl7910[/QUOTE]
This is a good one too. 

pengy16

i feel your pain, we sent out invites last week and fi got a lot of grief from his grandparents about not inviting his whole family! We want a small wedding of around 40 guests, his family alone would be at least 100, so we cut it to grandparent level down. before we sent out invites his grandparents said he had to invite from great aunts and uncles down, so we caved and added them. now they are upset we didnt invite all his cousins. FI caved on one, his cousin who helped raise him (thats how they got him to cave), so we had to send out another invite for them over the weekend. i know they will realize they were a last min add in because i didnt have time to get labels made especially since i broke my wrist all the stamps and return labels were crocked. We made it known to his extended family that we were having a small event but i know we will get the backlash from his family at thanksgiving because the majority of his family was not invited.

michaeloswifey

Don't you just love how FMIL's have all these crazy ideas in their head about guests lists?

We also gave copies of our list to all parents several months ago. She added a few people at that time ("they probably won't come, but it will be an extra gift" Ugh. Really? We're not interested in gifts, we're interested in sharing our love with our family)

She was over yesterday and was talking about all this drama going on within her immediate family and said, "I still have to decide if {cousin} can come or not" FI and I simultaneously said, "what do you mean?" reply: "well you know how he get's when he drinks..."

We didn't invites him!!! And she was surprised to hear this! Um, hellooo, did you even look at the guest list? We're not adding people now!

I say you are very nice to allow the two extra guests, but your foot down beyond that!