Review my vows please

ccarrion77

Morning Ladies,

I'd like honest opinions on my vows, please shred them to pieces if necessary.   We're reading our own vows to each other on the first night of the honeymoon since I'd never make it through them at the ceremony. 
Not sure why the spacing is messed up half way down.
TIA

FI,

From the first time I saw you, in your cartoon man outfit of a black shirt and jeans when everyone else was in a suits or uniforms, I knew I wanted you.  That want grew into admiration and love.  Today I love you more than I ever knew was possible to love.

Ben, you are the best part of everyday. You are the reason I smile each day, and when I look into your eyes I see forever.

So I promise to cuddle with you every night

I vow to let you tickle me at least once in a while

I pledge to be silly and corny to make you smile

 

I promise to be honest and true to you

I vow to always choose you and put your first

I pledge to always be your friend

 

I promise to ask for help when I need it

I vow to always treasure and spoil you

I pledge to always know that I am the luckiest woman in the world

 

But most of all, I promise, I vow, I pledge to love you, under any circumstances, happy or sad, easy or difficult, through the sunshine and through the rain for the rest of my days.

Alisha9544

Perfect :-)

mana8503

"From the first time I saw you, in your cartoon man outfit of a black shirt and jeans when everyone else was in a suits or uniforms, I knew I wanted you."

TBH - I had to reread this a few times to understand... 

Maybe:
"The first time I saw you, when everyone else was in suits or uniforms, you were in your cartoon man outfit of a black shirt and jeans.   From that moment, I knew I wanted you"

Or something like that... idk I'm a mathematician

achiduck

I think they're perfect for non-ceremony vows.

lv2011

Honestly, I would skip the first part. It's not a vow, and it's pretty self-evident - that's why you're getting married, right But, then again, I'm a fan of tradition. I also think the first stanza of vows is pretty superficial and cutesy, but the rest are really good. Though, just to be a brat, What About The Snow?!? Sorry, it IS a beautiful sentiment.

All-in-all, it doesn't matter what we think, but what you think and what your FI will feel. If it's right to you and him, say it and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

ccarrion77

Thanks everyone! 

Mana, I like your revision, think I'll go with that.  There are a few inside jokes between us, that's what the cartoon man and most of the first stanza are about.  I like them in there and think its ok since there's not going to be anyone around to be confused.

KittennDave

Reading that made me want to cry, so sweet!!

mana8503

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_review-my-vows-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:5e9c18b2-4ce4-4c26-916e-d287cab86206Post:4077ecf6-0725-4301-a021-567718eff99d">Re: Review my vows please</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone!  Mana, I like your revision, think I'll go with that.  There are a few inside jokes between us, that's what the cartoon man and most of the first stanza are about.  I like them in there and think its ok since there's not going to be anyone around to be confused.
Posted by ccarrion77[/QUOTE]

I figured it was an inside joke, I think it's really cute!  Fi wanted to write vows, I said no, but this is a great compromise. 

ccarrion77

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_review-my-vows-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:5e9c18b2-4ce4-4c26-916e-d287cab86206Post:c6e25461-4105-4888-98fe-c3acf09342d4">Re: Review my vows please</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Review my vows please : I figured it was an inside joke, I think it's really cute!  Fi wanted to write vows, I said no, but this is a great compromise. 
Posted by mana8503[/QUOTE]


Yeah, he was the one who wanted to write our vows too, such a romantic!  I didn't think I'd be able to make it through them without lots of tears, and I've always been partial to traditional vows.  This way we get to do both!