I've decided & I'm much happier

Alisha9544

I've decided to stop letting my bridesmaids let me down & upset me.  I've decided in my mind that MoH is no longer MoH (I will not physically change this!)  That the bridesmaid who talks to me every chance she gets, who is there when she's supposed to be, who doesn't talk bad about my other bridesmaids(my sisters) to me, who is at my house every Thursday for the past 2months, & who just acts like she cares that girl is in my head & heart my MoH.  Now my technical MoH has been flaking a lot from the get go.  Was 20minutes late to dress shopping, didn't even show when she asked if she could help me pick out invitations (in my head MoH did), talks bad about my BMs/sisters to me, still hasn't got her dress fitted, Then!!  Yesterday says she's coming over after work & she's going to help with wedding stuff.  Asks what time to be there & what we're working on.  Well come 6 last night she text me "???"  I asked what she was sending that for.  Then hello?  Then "I take it you aren't coming"  No replies.  She never called, never showed up & is texting me this morning asking if I'm mad.  Guess what.  I'm not, I've just learned who my real true friends are & who's going to be there for me.  And I'm happy & relieved at this revelation.
 

jessiflower

the AHHHHH moment....I love it....your smooth sailing from here....this whole experience has really shown true colors in my life....and those I call friends...and those I have really come to see for their true selves in our friendship....I feel great for you!!!!  What a great moment....to let it all go....your last days will be so much more enjoyable for not letting others actions determine your happienes.....CONGRATS!!!!!  Life is good today

aro1589

my MOH has been the same way.  she ordered her dress super late (it's expected to come in on Oct 25th...I'm getting married on the 27th!) and has flaked on everything I've asked her to help with. and is generally not interested in my wedding.  we barely talk. 

in my head, my sister (who is a BM) is my MOH.  She has helped me so so much and threw me a shower and planned the Bparty

achiduck

It's just better to not stress about it.

ReyesToy

I'm there with you! Having the same issues with one of my BMs...

good job on reaching a different frame of mind! At this point, I'm just focusing on marrying my bestfriend and trying to push away everything negative that I can't change.

[Deleted User]

It feels so good to let it go! One of my BM was acting similar and one day she texted me AGAIN about her dress not fitting when she hadn't even gone to the seamstress to see if it could be fixed. I told her to go to the seamstress and that there was nothing I could do about it. Which led to some texts where I thought she was ending the friendship saying she didn't see us being friends past the wedding. Then a call a day later to say that we were still friends, just not as close of friends. And now I haven't talked to her since. I kind of feel like I should, but I really don't have anything to talk to her about. I know that's missing a lot of details but basically I decided I'm not going to waste my energy. If she shows up, she shows up and if not, that's ok too.

bkhokie27

Good for you! For my 1st wedding, I just had one MOH and that was enough!  Lots of drama and she ended up showing her true colors later on (to be fair, so did I).  We're no longer friends, but my life is so much better for it.  We're not having a wedding party this time around, but I have my friends helping out with some aspect of the wedding (song, mistress of ceremonies, makeup, etc).and I just feel incredibly blessed to have these people in my life!  Enjoy this one less stressful aspect of your wedding