October 2012 Weddings

frustration with someone elses wedding

my cousin is getting married 3 weeks after me and asked me to do her wedding pictures (I'm a photographer).  Her exact words were "We want you to do the pictures becuase you will be there anyways.  I'm sending you and DAvid an invitation".

Even though she is my cousin I still went through the standard procedure of setting up a meeting, bringing my price list, discussing options and reviewing my contract.  She gave me a set budget and asked what I can do for that.  We agreed on a custom package and I left her with my contract.  I told her I need a 50% deposit to reserve her date and the remaining balance is due 30 days before the wedding.  That was almost 1 month ago and I still haven't heard from her! I sent her 2 messages but she hasn;t replied.  I got an invite to her wedding but since she hasn't followed through with hiring me, as  far as I'm concerned I'm just a guest and will not be taking pictures.

It's annoying and frustrating because I know she is assuming I will just do it for them without getting a deposit or anything. But I also know they won't pay me!

Re: frustration with someone elses wedding

  • Yeah, that's pretty bad.  I would just say what you said here - "Since I haven't heard back from you about the contract and deposit, I am assuming that I will be attending your wedding as a guest and will not be taking pictures for you.  Let me know if that's ok."

    Hopefully you hear back from her.  Don't do the work if she hasn't at least given you the deposit.
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  • Call her up as you would any client and say, I'm sorry, but in order to reserve your date, I need a deposit now and the full balance 30 days prior.  Otherwise I will be unable to provide my services to you and will be attending your wedding as a guest.  

    I don't get why people think that having family members provide them services is a good idea or think you would be willing to do it for free!
  • That is crazy.  I agree with PPs to call her up and tell her that since she hasn't paid the deposit you are assuming your services aren't needed and will be attending as a guest.  That will light a fire under her.  You are already doing her a favor and it's ridiculous that especially after going through the prices and contract she can't act professionally and is assuming the costs will just magically go away.

    haha, I'm also imagining somewhere on the November board, a bride complaining about her photographer cousin backing out 6 weeks out from the wedding! 

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  • he first time I sent her a messge I said "Hey, just wondering if you still want to hire me.  If so, I'll need the deposit and contract to proceed".  In the second e-mail I said what ystaalenburg suggsted.

    Yeah, I don;t get it either!  She knows I just bought a house and need to earn a living so its like "why would I do this for FREE?!"  if it was my brother asking me I'd totally do it for nothing, but this is a cousin I'm not even close with.  I didn';t even invite her to my wedding!
  • Yeah thats crappy. We have a close friend who is a photographer doing ours. We made sure we set up a formal contract and paid in full long before we even mailed out invites, just to avoid those issues!

    I hope it works out.

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    October 13, 2012
  • We've had something similar happening to us.  My FI is a DJ & I'm a photographer.  His two sisters are engaged & FFIL basically told us we are doing both their weddings for free!!  Um... and they're helping us with what for ours? Nothing.  I don't think its fair that just cause it's family they think you owe them.
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  • It also looks to me like the whole amount would be due now because it's pretty close to 30 days from for her right? If she says she wants you I would get the full amount!
  • PP, you're right.  Her wedding is November 17...oringinally her fiance said "so we'll just pay you some on the wedding and then the rest later." i was like "uhhh, that's not how it works!"

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_frustration-with-someone-elses-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:7e906f75-10c9-4f28-b31d-08cce9cb14f7Post:6220b3a2-f1ee-444c-969c-43f4950c3220">Re: frustration with someone elses wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]We've had something similar happening to us.  My FI is a DJ & I'm a photographer.  His two sisters are engaged & FFIL basically told us we are doing both their weddings for free!!  Um... and they're helping us with what for ours? Nothing.  I don't think its fair that just cause it's family they think you owe them.
    Posted by Alisha9544[/QUOTE]

    Are you doing them then?!  I don't think I would want to.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_frustration-with-someone-elses-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:7e906f75-10c9-4f28-b31d-08cce9cb14f7Post:542754db-488e-46eb-bcae-f9effc83f303">Re: frustration with someone elses wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]PP, you're right.  Her wedding is November 17...oringinally her fiance said "so we'll just pay you some on the wedding and then the rest later." i was like "uhhh, that's not how it works!"
    Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]


    lol, I hope they don't get back to you so you can bow out of this mess!

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  • edited October 2012
    I'm a photographer too and I fully agree with how you are handling this!! I got kind of irked at a coworker of mine that wanted me to do her Christmas card photos and when I went to book them with her I told her I'd give her a discount off the session fee. She actually thought I'd do them for free just because we work together. Try again!! I am trying to get my photography business off the ground in a new state along with working a full-time job, I can't afford to just give myself away.

    PS, christinavy - check your PMs.
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