Our best man is married!

pockysquirrel

My FI is a fraternal twin, and his brother got married this past Saturday! The joke is that he beat FI out of the womb by one minute and to the altar by five months, LOL. Being twins, they've always been very close and when they both got engaged they decided that of course they would be each other's best man. FI had a tough time finding the rings in his coat pocket during the ceremony, but he also saved the day by offering up his lighter when the wind started blowing out candles...I tell you what, that made me think twice about doing a unity candle at an outdoor ceremony! And his speech at the reception made everyone cry, including himself, much to his own dismay, LOL.

Overall it was a great wedding and I'm so happy for my FBIL and his new wife. But I find that planning my own wedding and spending so much time on TK makes me hypersensitive to etiquette issues and ideas that I want to steal when I go to other people's weddings. Does this happen to anyone else?

brainybrunette

Congrats to FBIL!  I wish FBIL and FSIL many years of happiness!

Yes, I've become super hypersensitive to etiquette issues surrounding other people's weddings too!  FI and I have been/will be invited to 4 other weddings this year. We've received 2 of those invitations and the first thing I notice is are of the etiquette mistakes.  FI thinks that I'm crazy for noticing, but I notice the small details to begin with and now that I'm a bride I notice them even more!  Glad I'm not the only one : )

Ividian

I'm going to do the same thing at my cousin's wedding at the end of the month I'm sure, and probably feel bad about it the entire time!

heatherfitz

The more I learn about etiquette, the more I stop caring, haha. Seriously. This wedding planning experience has opened me to the seedy underground alleys of "proper etiquette" and shown me how ridiculous a lot of it is. I mean, more power to those who swear by it, but I've learned to not sweat the small things and that my friends and family are gonna love us even if we have a cash bar and I host my own bachelorette party :P

pockysquirrel

Yeah, I agree that a lot of the really nitty gritty etiquette details are fairly pointless. It's just that wedding planning has turned me into a walking etiquette encyclopedia and I can't help noticing when things aren't 'by the book'. Most of it, I could give a rip about. FBIL had a partial cash bar, for instance. Beer, wine, and soft drinks were hosted, but you had to pay for any liquor. That's fine by me, and I don't think anyone else in attendance cared either. The one thing I didn't care for was that the emcee ran this 'game' wherein guests were asked to put money in one of two baskets, one for the bride and one for the groom, and whoever's basket had more money in it got cake smashed in their face during the cake cutting. That was just awkward to me, especially since it was totally rigged in favor of FBIL being the one to end up with cake on his face!

goatlady12

I care even less about etiquette now.  I'm too laid back to be proper.  When I read the etiquette board on TK I noticed it's the rudest people that preach etiquette.  Weddings have changed over the years for the better in my opinion.  It's your day, you should be able to do whatever you want and if people are offended by it they don't have to come.  I am also hosting beer and having a cash bar for alcohol.  My friends are all big drinkers, full open bar would be a recipe for disaster.  And I am not offended by cash bars.
I'm breaking a lot of "etiquette" rules myself and couldn't give a crap honestly.   

lepoissonrouge

I totally agree that being on TK has made me sensitive to issues that I probably would not have thought much about otherwise. Or at least has made me think, o, the girls on TK would love this, lol. Like a a wedding invitation from FIs cousin that stated B.Y.O.B. I thought that didn't really belong on a formal invite. Or how people iclude their registry info with the invitations, even one girl went so far as to put on the invite that their would be a dollar dance with the bride and groom during the reception. Don't forget your ones! I don't have a problem with the dollar dance because it is extremely common in my area, expected even. But seriously, DO NOT put that on my invite. I will most certainly be leaving my ones at home.

FI and I have four other weddings to attend this summer, all of which are before ours. I am definitely planning on scoping them out to see what works and what doesn't and stealing ideas, lol.

BrittneyRN

Eh, I'm kind of a stickler about etiquette. I think just because times have changed, doesn't make things any less rude. And since joining the Knot, I've definitely seen a lot of rules broken- kicking someone out of the bridal party (the worst), not giving everyone in a relationship a guest, inviting people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding, at home receptions for people NOT invited to the ceremony- IMO these things will always be rude.

pockysquirrel

In Response to Re:Our best man is married!:[QUOTE] FI and I have four other weddings to attend this summer, all of which are before ours. I am definitely planning on scoping them out to see what works and what doesn't and stealing ideas, lol. Posted by lepoissonrouge[/QUOTE]

This was the first of three that FI and I have this year...ours is the fourth! Doesn't it just seem like everyone is getting married lately?

I am all about stealing ideas from other people's weddings. I've already decided to gank a plan for FOB and FOG's tuxedos from FBIL's wedding. They had the dads wear black vests to set them apart from the groomsmen, but wore the same color ties to incorporate the wedding colors. Genius!

brainybrunette

I know that some people think that etiquette rules are silly and that times have changed, but I think that it's a shame that society as a whole has gotten so casual about things (and I consider myself to be a liberal!  I'm not some conservative who wants to go back to the 1950's LOL!)  Example, people who wear jeans to weddings...even to a "casual wedding" I would wear a casual dress, not jeans. It's also a shame that some of the people on the etiquette board who preach this stuff (90% of the time they are right) can be so rude themselves in their responses.  I think that everyone does the best that they can with their budget (I understand that open bar is not always financially possible) but other things are so easy to do the proper way and don't cost extra (addressing invites, proper invite wording, etc).

staycb01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_our-best-man-is-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:85d5e72d-96c3-41c5-b03f-90f654defaacPost:28d1c345-f812-4598-966a-952b3590ec86">Re: Our best man is married!</a>:
[QUOTE]I care even less about etiquette now.  I'm too laid back to be proper.  When I read the etiquette board on TK I noticed it's the rudest people that preach etiquette.  Weddings have changed over the years for the better in my opinion.  It's your day, you should be able to do whatever you want and if people are offended by it they don't have to come.  I am also hosting beer and having a cash bar for alcohol.  My friends are all big drinkers, full open bar would be a recipe for disaster.  And I am not offended by cash bars. I'm breaking a lot of "etiquette" rules myself and couldn't give a crap honestly.   
Posted by Seipel12[/QUOTE]

<strong>Omg I love this girl! My thoughts exactly - especially the part about the rudest people that preach etiquette. Weddings are done now very different from 10 or 20 years ago.... hell they are done differently even in the last 5 years i've noticed.  everyone should just do what they want since it's their day. you'll never please everyone anyways!</strong>

goatlady12

I do want to clarify that human decency doesn't go out the window because I don't believe in the all the etiquette rules of a wedding.  If I find something offensive there is absolutely no way I would incorporate it into my wedding.  The biggies will always be the biggies, but I don't sweat the small stuff.  Also the girls on this board are all very polite when they talk about etiquette, I haven't found any posts in poor taste on this board yet.  I really appreciate that everyone is very kind about voicing their opinions.

Staycb - Kind of funny that we are both from the midwest!  Definitely a different world here.