We recently found out that my FI's brother, and Best Man, is going to be deployed the month before our wedding. Of course we are really bummed by this, but he is really upset. We've told him that we completely understand and knew it was a possibility that he might get deployed before the wedding early in the planning process. We also told him that he will always be the Best Man and we aren't going to replace him. We will just have uneven sides.
What is confusing me -- and this is 2nd hand information so it could have been taken completely out of context -- is that his wife who is one of my BM doesn't feel like she has to be part of the wedding party anymore. That I only asked her because her husband is my FI's Best Man. Which is TOTALLY not the case. True we are not SUPER close and hang out all the time, but I still consider her one of my friends. I did mention something to her -- without throwing my source under the bus -- stressing that we all think its sucks that her husband has to be deployed and we hope he come back safe and sound and that if she needs anything we're here for her. I also mentioned that I wanted her to still be in the WP that we were going to have uneven sides.
She replied that: "I'll do whatever is easier for you. Just let me know."
I really don't want to force her to do something that will make her uncomfortable or do something she doesn't want to do. Am I just overthinking her response? Or should I ask her straight out if she really wants to be in the WP still?