Overboard??

LDubHawksFan

Ok, so a little bit of a back story.  FMIL bends over backwards for everything and doesn't take no for an answer much.  She is graciously hosting a shower for me and our rehearsal dinner.  She was making arrangements for FI's two brothers' families to stay in a hotel for the wedding weekend.  Great!  We were really hoping that she wouldn't be hosting everyone at her house the night before so she wouldn't be super stressed.  We were even going to pay for their rooms.  She has also tried to plan several aspects of our wedding around her 4 grandchildren, including wanting to have the RD at the hotel at first so the kids could all swim during it (don't ask).  Fwiw, she sees both children quite often, babysitting one family every week.
FMIL told FI that she wants to have the 2 eldest grandchildren stay with her that night before the wedding(4&5).  FI and I both don't want her to have gma duties that night because we think she will be stressed and that will only add to it.   I have drafted up an email to my FSILs inquiring about whether the kids could stay with them that Friday night for the reasons above. 
Now my question is whether this is bordering bridezilla level?  Is this a request that is too far??

Julia822

I honestly think it is going a little too far.  I totally understand why you feel the way you do, but she is an adult who can decide what is best for her.  I would just let it be.

AllieHysh19

God No!  of course you are NOT bordering on bridezilla.... you don't want her to be stressed, and with my FMIL, that's all the kids would be to her.  I am in a very similar situation - she wants all 7 of the grandkids involved in the wedding.... so I totally get it.  but I would definitely talk to your FSIL.  

Stina2012

I'd stay out of this one. FMIL can decide what she wants to do and this seems like a huge overstep for you. Why do you even care? If I was your FMIL I'd feel like you were trying to micro manage my life! Which sounds like it's not  your intention, but it could come across that way.

BrittneyRN

I think with that request, you are taking it too far. Her having the grandkids won't effect you at all. She's being gracious enough to host the rehearsal dinner, so I'd let her do what she wants. As the FMIL, she shouldn't have too much to do the night before the wedding. Also, she's a grown woman, so she can decide whether she can handle it or not.

LDubHawksFan

Thanks ladies!  That is why I didn't push send!    I figured if I was having reservations about overstepping, then I was.  I wasn't going to forbid FMIL from taking the kids, but gently ask the FSILs their position.  Oh well!

Why am I concerned?  Because at Christmas' and family functions that she hosts, she runs around with her head cut off and then complains about not having enough energy.  She was also the same woman that insisted that one of my FSIL's parents be invited so "there's another set of grandparents" to help with the kids.  I just don't want her to overextend herself like she always does!  But then again, if she does, then it's not really my problem!

Thanks!  Deleting the draft now!

ericaandtom2012

I think you're going too far.  It's her prerogative if she wants to have the grandkids the night before the wedding, you have no right to control that.  She's an adult, I'm sure she knows what she can handle.  If she's not paying/hosting, she doesn't get the final say and can't plan the RD around the grandkids swimming needs.  

CFM102012

The next time you talk to your FMIL you might mention how she is at Christmas and that you're just concerned that she'll be stressed and over extended if she takes the grandkids the night before. If she still says she wants to have them, then just leave it.