OH NO! Shrinking Wedding Party

reagane02

     My BM are dropping like flies! I only had 3 to begin with, and 1 dropped out because he husband got deployed and she didn't feel comfortable being in the wedding if he wasn't. Now my SIL, just told me my brother couldn't make it to the wedding and she wasn't sure if she could either.

     My biggest frustration about this is that both of these girls wouldn't just come out and tell me. I had to hear through the grapevine and then call them up personally. I just wish my SIL would have told me this earlier. Preferrably BEFORE I had bought her dress. I know she isn't sure yet, if she can or cannot, but she has been kind of difficult to pin down what their plans are.

    But now my FI's family is starting to bother me about having uneven sides now. More than 1 of them have asked me if I had a "Back Up BM" to stand in. When I said no, they suggested I ask the girlfriend of 1 of the GM --- A girl I have never met in my life --- When I refused, they told my FI that he should have 1 of his GM step down so that the sides will not be uneven.  I  put my foot down and told them that at 2 months it was too late and rude to ask someone else, especially someone I've never met, to step in or to have someone step down. I'm fine with uneven sides, I just wish they would let it go. Besides my SIL could decide she can make it after all.

Jasperk23

That sucks... But i definitely think your answer is the honourable way to handle it. Stand your ground!

tiptoes77

I am uneven as well. One of my groomsmen told us he can't come to the wedding bc his girlfriend won't let him and the other groomsmen was my FIs brother in law and he broke off his marriage in December and literally ran away. So I have 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Its annoying but not the end of the world. I agree with you, i wouldn't ask people I didn't really know or cut anybody that I already asked. Good luck!

hllokttygirl

I had 3 to begin with also. I am now to one. Both had/have lots of personal issues swirling around, so it was just easier for them. They are both still coming, which I am thrilled about. My best friend will be by my side and i couldn't be happier. Stand your ground and do what you feel is right. Uneven BP members are fine.

jenny&will2014

I got asked 2 days before a wedding to be in it when I was a teenager (bad weather prevented someone from coming into town). Just have the best man already be up there with your fiance and have the 2 remaining groomsmen walk the one bridesmaid up

music11

I'm sorry!  But I think it's totally ok to have uneven sides.  I have 3 BM's and FI has 4 GM.  Everything will work out  Try to tune out the nay-sayers.

lyradimer

Stick to your guns. Uneven sides are fine, and anyone you asked now would feel like a second class bridesmaid. And kicking out a groomsman would be in most circumstances a friendship ending move. You're doing the right thing, and your SIL might be able to make it anyways! good luck!

nani1012

Uneven sides are fine. Initially we were going to be uneven, but FI decided to pick my brother to be a GM. They'e close, but not as close to his cousin that passed away. I did tell him it didn't have to be even, but he said he wanted my brother.

I agree with pp. Stick to your guns and don't worry about it. It's honourable that you didn't try to replace the Bmaid at the last minute.

Jessewell

coupon code:bridal5203 

10% Off for for all wedding dress purchase on this site. Come to choose what you like.It's amazing!

(bridalweddingdesigner.com)

samanthaeisner

My WP is very uneven.  I have 5 BMs including my MOH.  FI has 3 GM.  It's all fine!

violakat03

I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one having this problem. I knew only one of my BMs (of 5) had ordered her dress, so I send a Facebook message gently reminding the other four that they needed to be ordered ASAP to avoid having to pay a rush fee. WIthin 24 hours, three of them backed out for various reasons and one asked if it would be alright if her 16 year old daughter took her place (which was fine with me, I adore her daughter).

One, we finally talked back into it. My MOH (her best friend) talked said BM into letting her pay for her dress so that she could be in it - originally, her pride wouldn't let her but she realized it was more important to be there for me than to be prideful about it. The other two .. I don't even know what to do about. One of them backed out in such a crappy way that I don't know how to be anything but royally ticked off over. Usually it's said that kicking out a BM is a friendship-ending move, but in the case I feel like backing out in the way she did is a friendship ending move. Let's just say if it weren't for the fact anyone I asked now would probably be insulted by it, I would not feel guilty at all about breaking all etiquette rules and replacing her.

So, in 24 hours I went from 5 BMs for sure, to 2 for sure, and the third being not sure if it's mom or daughter (they'll let me know for sure this Saturday).

All of this led to my first massive breakdown. Luckily I'm visiting my family in Ohio this week and my MOH (my SIL) was there to handle me and keep me from eloping.