Missing Fi/ Rant

CandiceAdam

Fi left yesterday morning for his Bach. party with some of his friends. It did not phase me much yesterday morning because I was on my way in to work and then I spent several hours out shopping for my outfit for the rehearsal dinner. However, waking up with out him this AM was a little sad. Maybe I will take myself shopping again after I clean the house :-) still need some clothes for the honeymoon.
What really bothers me is I have been trying not to think about the fact that they went to Canada and probably went to a strip club. I told him I did not care if they went but requested that he please not have a lap dance because I am sorry but it is just dirty. If he were not drinking a ton he would probably listen to that request and he would never spend the money to buy one for himself but I am sure that his friends would have because its his last big party before being tied down. I just think it is disrespectful and the though makes my skin crawl... it makes me not even want to give him a hug or kiss when he gets home and it is probably going to cause a fight.  :-/ Also his best man will still be staying one more night with us so if there is a fight it will be super awkward.
Ever since Fi's best man got in town Fi has been very inconsiderate to me and we already had one discussion about it in the wee hours of the morning when BM was still sleeping. It really has nothing to do with anything that BM has done, he has been perfectly polite while he has been here it just seems like Fi brain has taken a vacation.
Sorry for the rant ladies but I have no one to tell this stuff to and I really needed to get these thoughts out of my head.

xxjen015

Thank you!! I feel like my FI does the same thing when his friends are around. Luckily it isn't often, so it doesn't typically cause too big of an issue, but we've argued over it before. He treats me differently and I'm not okay with it.

FI went on his b-party last weekend and they went to a strip club. I thought I was okay with it until it came time for them to go. I had made it very, very clear that if they bought him a lap dance, he better not even think about coming back home to the apt. I made it through by texting him pictures....he enjoyed that more than them. But I was still disgusted that he went and even now, thinking about it disgusts me. I made him shower when he got home the next night, even though he had at the hotel. It'll be okay, just know it will never happen again!

BrittneyRN

I guess I'm an odd ball. The thought if FI at a strip club doesn't bother me, and I even gave him money to buy a lap dance. Either way, I think your FI needs to be respectful of you no matter who's around, but I also wouldn't jump on him right away and accuse him of getting a lap dance before you know.

pockysquirrel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_missing-fi-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:9e3590e6-5aee-40f8-8498-2441e0f8b212Post:6307f664-db53-4d43-90ae-fb19d6b3d8e9">Re: Missing Fi/ Rant</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm an odd ball. The thought if FI at a strip club doesn't bother me, and I even gave him money to buy a lap dance.
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]

I'm in your boat, Brittney. FI took his brother and their friends to a strip club before his brother's wedding, and I was literally the only one of the wives/SO's of the guys involved who wasn't upset. When it came time for his own bachelor party, he tried to play off like they weren't going to the strip club, but I was like "BS, I know you better than that...go have fun and just remember the rules." And sure enough...LOL. IDK if he got a lap dance and I don't care either way. Probably the thing I was most upset about was that he came home after telling me he was going to spend the night at his friend's. I woke up at three in the morning freaked out, wondering who the heck just came into the apartment! He scared the crap out of me!

As for the OP, I know what you mean about being sad when FI's not there when you wake up. Have him make it up to you with extra cuddles when he gets back. :) I'm of a mind that bachelor parties are what they are, and thank God a guy only gets one. But I would be pissed if my FI started being inconsiderate of me just because his friends were around. There may need to be another talk about that piece, preferably at a time when both of you are feeling able to discuss your concerns calmly.

mrskristinyc

We're doing our Bachelor/Bachelorette parties after the rehearsal dinner. We live in another state, and our BP is spread all over the country, so that's really the only time we could do it (we really didn't want to make people buy multiple plane tickets, and we didn't want to either). 

I think the girls and I are just getting dessert and cocktails at the Melting Pot (I don't want to be hungover for the wedding, and we all have early hair appointments). 

FI is probably going out to a strip club with the guys. It doesn't bother me - they've done it for tons of other bach parties before. If his friends want to get him a lap dance, that's fine. I trust him enough to know it won't mean anything, and I know that he probably would feel totally awkward during it. I'm more concerned that he'll feel hungover during the wedding.

Ividian

We aren't doing Back parties. My FI went to a friend's bach party when we were really early in our relationship, and they went to Canada and spent several hours at a strip club. I was a little upset by it, but it honestly had more to do with my insecurity than anything else. At this point if he had wanted to do the who bach party thing with his friends I'm sure that night I would have been thinking about it, but honestly I would have grabbed a couple of my girlfriends and we also would have gone to Canada and hit up a strip club, so there!!

CandiceAdam

Good news... I am much happier. Fi is home, his BM is not staying the night here because his flight leaves out of another city very early tomorrow morning so he is staying the night in a hotel there. Even better news... they never even made it to a strip club because they are a bunch of old men. Fi is 33 and the last to get married... after a baseball game and a huge dinner at a Brazilian steak house they were all tired so they went to a couple of bars for some drinks and called it a night. He says he had a good time so all is well and the worrying is over.