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October 2012 Weddings

FH Vent

My family has paid for most of our wedding including: food, dress, venue, flowers, and invitations.  I have paid for the videographer, coordinator, photobooth, and favors.  My fiancee is paying for the rehursal dinner and his family is helping with nothing.

My fiancee and I live together and own our own home.

Today he gets mad at me because he says he didnt think we were paying anything for the wedding and if we are spending any money then we are spending too much.  We both have good jobs, but right now we have two mortages, two car payments, a debt on our refridgerator and stove, and are raising his 17 year old nephew.

It really upset me when he got mad that I was spending my money on the wedding even though I pay my share of the bills.  I feel like it is my savings and if I want to spend it on the wedding then I should be able too.  I think it is redicoulus for him to think my famiy should pay for everything!

We should both be able to enjoy our "big day," but now I feel like its over shadowed by him only thinking about how much everything costs.

Re: FH Vent

  • I'm sorry you guys are arguing about this.  Any argument sucks, but ones about money are the worst.

    Maybe take some time to calm down before you bring it up again and hopefully you guys can come to an agreement on how to handle all of this.  It is pretty bad on his part if he is expecting your family to pay for everything because it's the two of you that are getting married, not your family.  It's your responsibility, not theirs.

    I have a hard time giving people advice when they have "my money" and "his money" situations.  Hopefully you guys can work it out.
    dscf4745-2
    Anniversary
  • Half of those things are for the enjoyment of both your guests. Maybe if you point that out he'll be a little more understanding? He wants his guests to have a good time, right? Hopefully he'll have a change of heart and realize it's worth it!
  • Wow, you have a lot on your plate lady!! Sorry to hear FI is not agreeing with things. It sounds with everything you have going on that maybe FI is just stressed and worried. Did you talk to him about it afterwards? I hope things get better.
    weddingpic
  • WOW. That is nuts. First your parents aren't required to pay for anything for your wedding! Most couples have to pay for all of it themselves! FI and I have paid for almost everything and if he had expected my mom to pay there wouldn't be a wedding. My mom can barely HELP! I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this!
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